S4 E9: Recap of Season 4: Connection with self, others, and something outside ourselves

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  Gerald Reid  00:11

  Welcome back to the ReidConnect-ED Podcast. This is season four and Season Four has been all about connection, connection with others, connection with something outside of ourselves, and the connections we make within ourselves. Alexis and I today are we're going to regroup and look back on season four, we're going to identify some themes that we believe came up through each interview we had with each topic that we discussed, and look back at each episode and to identify some of the key points and the key takeaways that relate to these themes.

  Alexis Reid  00:41

  Now, we want to revisit just the whole idea of what this podcast is all about. Our mom actually had this really great idea years ago, about this manifestation of connection, you know, we were so lucky in our lives to understand the value of connection not only in our family, in our community, in our school systems, with friends with so many people, we've been so fortunate to really connect and genuinely connect with so many people in our lives. And mom had this idea years ago, of Reid Connect. And that kind of turned into so much for us professionally. When Jerry and I went into our private practices, we started this umbrella LLC of thinking about how we connect some of the dots for the people we work with, how do we bring together all the information that we're collecting from them in our conversations, as we take in observational information, we learn about them in their lives, their motivations, their goals. And, you know, how do we as experts in our own fields in our own right, me in education with a background and focus on executive function, education, and you and mental health and thinking about sports psychology as well? How do we put all these pieces together to really support people in their journey? 

  And you know, for those of you who have been listening to the podcast for a while, you might already know this, but we've been wanting for years to figure out the best way to give back not only to the people we work with, but also to the broader community. And one of the things that we're really passionate about is helping people to find the things that are most helpful for them. Instead of pushing it on them, right, we're very mindful of giving people agency. So the podcast, and most especially I think this season, we really wanted to connect our audience and listeners with information that we think would resonate, whether it is a story told by somebody who's gone through their life, maybe taken an alternate path to finding their own version of success. Or it's an expert or research scientist, or, you know, just Jerry and I talking through the lens of the work that we do the research we've done. And we continue to do every day in our lives. We wanted to make sure that we're providing information that helps you connect a little bit differently with yourself and the outside world. So we believe that this is really an outgrowth of our work, but also hopefully, a little bit of, of something that people can pick and choose from what makes sense and what's helpful for them. So as we go through this episode, we're really going to sum up some of the key points that we talked about in this season. But also, you know, the name of her podcast is Reid, which was our last name, our familial name, and then Connect, being able to connect the dots and bring the pieces together, as our logo shows the dots in the brain. And Ed, it's all about education. And I am a firm believer that the more we can educate ourselves, educate each other, the more we can get past some of the most challenging difficult moments in life, not only on our own, but also with each other. So the more we can educate ourselves, I think the more opportunities we have to be able to thrive to be resilient and succeed and pretty much most of what we put our minds to.  

  Gerald Reid  04:11

  Yeah, well said Lex and this has been such a great experience for us professionally, personally as siblings and certainly grateful that you push me to do it. I was just talking to a patient earlier about, you know, sometimes you really need someone in your family or a loved one or just someone who really cares about you to give you a push, and to give you a push to do something that's outside your comfort zone. And you know, I think we all need that in life even to do fun things and enjoyable things in life. You know, it's not just about doing things that you feel like you have to do but also doing things that could be meaningful to you or even enjoyable. So appreciate the push that you gave me for this.  

  Alexis Reid  04:48

  Yeah, it sounds like this is the wrap up of our podcasts in general which it is not. But I do want to kind of put a little plug in that if this has been helpful for you or anybody you know, just spread the word and spread the message. You know, Jerry and I are fortunate to have really great connections, you know, in the Massachusetts area around the States and around the world. But, you know, our goal is to get this information out to the world, again, not that we are the only experts to share information like this, but you know, pick and choose what makes sense. We have a great season lined up already for season five starting up in the fall, but take the time over the summer, to go back in to listen to some episodes that maybe you missed, or you want to listen to differently, and see how it connects to you. 

  And my challenge to everybody out there listening is to maybe think about how you can push yourself outside of your comfort zone this summer, can you maybe take one or two things that maybe you've been thinking about that have been bubbling up and you've been, you know, kind of maybe you know, kicking the tire a little bit, whatever that phrase means, kind of like walking around the periphery waiting for your opportunity to dive in. And there's so many people, so many successful people throughout our lifetimes who have said, you know, there's no right time to start and take the opportunity this summer, if you have it, to just start something new. Maybe if it's just the little bit at a time, a little something that you want to do. 

  Follow us on Instagram, if it's interesting to you. Jerry has Music Jerapy where he shares his music that's inspired by his work and in life in general. I have Alexis Ann Reid, where I'm going to be sharing tons of reels and more information over the summer, in the absence of a sharing more regular podcast, that you'll learn a little bit more about executive function in my work. And then the ReidConnectEDpodcast, Instagram to where we're, we're going to be sharing more and more clips from all the seasons and all the episodes that we've had, where we've had, you know, we've been blessed to have some really incredible people join us. So, you know, my challenge is to take the time to figure out where you want to push yourself how you want to take on a new challenge or goal and Jerry and I'll share a little bit about our goals for this summer too as we go through the episode. So let's dive in.

  Gerald Reid  07:19

  Well, Lex, you know, this season, we often talk about being present. And it's almost like the anchor that; the anchor around which a lot of positive things can happen in your life. Whether it's mental health or learning education, the stuff that you do, the stuff that I do, or even sports performance or performance in general, being present really has become such a foundation to a lot, you know, there's actually even you know, there's a lot of therapies that have been created with the idea that being present is kind of the starting point, it's the starting point for engaging in therapy and having a positive, thoughtful, engaged in a relationship with the patient and the therapist, between the learner and the teacher. Being present helps you to check in with yourself, which allows you to to make decisions consciously and instead of reactively, you know, being present is related to being more creative, being more open, and having more positive experiences as well. So, you know, I think we had a whole episode in Season Three about being present, which you can check out. But I just want to highlight some of the themes of how people talked about being present, as kind of a foundation for all these meaningful experiences they have in their life, about connection; allowing connection to happen.

  Alexis Reid  08:39

  Before you dive into those themes from all of our guests and the different episodes we went through the season. I just want to validate that sometimes being present is really, really difficult. And as we are here now, July 2nd, 2024. Going into the summertime, I just want to remind parents, young adults, students alike, to just remember that sometimes for young people, especially going into the summertime, as exciting as it is, especially in the Northeast when the weather gets a little bit nicer. But sometimes too much flexibility is really, really tricky, right? And when we change our structure, we change our schedule, we change our routine, it might be difficult to be super present, or maybe it's hard to sit with whatever is coming up for you in the present moment. So as we go through these themes, you know, each one of our guests in different ways have talked about both sides as we tend to do on the podcast, right? We talked about trying to hold space for both sides of a situation as many sides as we can consider as we're thinking about different aspects of life, especially one of the challenges which sometimes is to be present. As simple as it sounds. It's sometimes one of the most difficult things to do.  

  Gerald Reid  09:52

  Yeah, no doubt. And, you know, comparison as we talked about is oftentimes the difficulty we have of being present because we can always compare the present to something else or judging the judgments usually get in the way of being present. So be mindful of the judgments we make. And obviously with, you know, social media and the media, every time you look at something, it's almost like there's a judgment being made one way or another. So kind of reinforces that idea of constantly making judgments, which can interfere with being more present. 

  So let's talk about some of the main points that came about, through our interviews and discussions this season about being present. So Hayley Reardon, right. She was the first, she was the musician that we interviewed from Massachusetts and the North Shore. And we interviewed her about songwriting. And she talked a lot about how songwriting was such a meaningful experience to her. She talked about how accessing kind of a stream of consciousness where she was just kind of open to allowing these experiences she had and these emotions and feelings she has had in her life, to come out through words and through melody and through song and how powerful that is. But she kind of described that as if it was like a room inside of herself. Like she's kind of a house and there's different rooms inside of her house. And she always wants to try to access that. And she said, you know, as she got older, sometimes it could be harder to access that because of, as we just talked about judgments and different opinions people have and different self consciousness and perfectionism that can get in the way of just being present and being open, and allowing aspects of herself to come out through our consciousness that may be unconscious that might be not easily accessed. 

  And so I really appreciated how she talked about this. And I can certainly feel this in my own experience with it is you got to find ways to access parts of yourself that as we go through life through habit and kind of being automated, and how we go through things, or making judgments or worrying so much that we can lose touch with it so. So kind of creating environments and contexts in which we can access parts of ourselves. And really, that's what therapy is, I did make this point, you know, you experience therapy in a way that helps you to feel so comfortable, so open, so not judged that you can just allow the truth to come out of you. To allow authentic feelings and thoughts and beliefs and experiences to just come out naturally. And so much of that is the metaphor I used about songwriting, and Hayley really exemplified this in such a beautiful way, her songs are just so beautiful, that really, you know, give credence to how important this is.

  Alexis Reid  12:31

  You know, that's such an important point. And that would be the ideal right? In therapy, where people are coming to the space, feeling that they aren't going to be judged to be able to explore and access different parts and levels of themselves that maybe they've ignored or avoided or haven't paid attention to. Because sometimes it's hard to pay attention to all the different parts of ourselves. You know, there's oftentimes people I say this all the time, there's a great movie that I love called Playing by Heart. And there's a quote, In the movie, I won't give too much of it away, where Sean Connery is talking about a relationship that he had in the past with his wife. And he said, You know, sometimes when I look at that person, they reminded me more about who I was, they made me fall in love with myself again, because I lost sight of who I was. And I think you know, in different relationships and different situations, sometimes we need that reflection, to be able to find more nuance, find a little deeper meaning and understanding of who we are. 

  Because essentially, life is all about getting to learn who we are at different stages and versions of, you know, whatever our path and timing may be. And therapy is a great opportunity. Even in my work, even though it's not essentially focused; it's not focused on the emotions, but of course, emotion comes up because learning is so emotional. But it's really about learning and understanding who you are. So we can get to this point of acceptance. 

  And that's why I think people love music so much, because in movies and other media and entertainment, because they can often see parts of themselves, in the songs, parts of themselves in a character or story, whatever the story may be, whatever the mode of communication might be. So it's all about like finding different parts of ourselves in the world around us. And Hayley really talked about that so nicely. And, you know, she tells the story about sometimes when she's in the car, and lyrics and ideas just come to her. 

  And I think we could all pause and think about the times where our mind is most clear. And oftentimes, like you say, it is in these present moments where we're not overthinking. In my work with educators and parents especially I always talk about, you know, for individuals who have a hard time with attention or executive function skills that we need to pay attention to the environment and try to quiet the excess noise. And when I say noise, it might be like auditory sounds, but it might also be like too much stuff on the wall, too much light; temperatures and sensorily that maybe feels uncomfortable. You know all these different aspects of our environment that can impact us from just being and just being in a moment. 

  And Hayley really tapped into that when she's thinking about her creative mind. And when she accesses that room or whatever that space may be, and there's some really great neuroscience research around this, that when we aren't just in goal directed, goal directed focus mode, which we also talked about with Gloria Mark, in the attention episode, when we're not just super goal directed and trying to accomplish tasks, it gives ourselves a little bit of space and room to kind of, you know, let the creativity flow. And as long as we're not ruminating and overthinking, or getting too ahead of ourselves or judging ourselves in a moment, sometimes that's where the beauty happens. 

  Gerald Reid  15:46

  Yeah. 100 100% As I said yesterday, like, maybe we should stop using the word, the phrase 100% and say, maybe be a little more accurate. Say, how about 85%? Yeah, 85%...

  Alexis Reid  15:58

  That's another challenge for our listeners instead of saying: Yeah, 100%? Is it really 100% I always, I always joke, I mess with you too, sometimes to where I'm like, is anything 100%? And like, come on, we're, we've done research before. We're statisticians in some, some way, from the past, at least in our graduate studies that we know nothing is actually 100%. So maybe you're right, maybe it's not 100%. But it's close.

  Gerald Reid  16:26

  So and I like to say this, too, we talked about this in the perfection episode, I think it's related is, if you're constantly feeling like you're not enough, or things are not good enough in terms of your life, or how you compare to other people, or, you know, keeping up with the Joneses, or what is the show called keeping up the Kardashians. (Alexis: You went there.) Surprised I know the name of it; whatever, whatever it is, you know, the flavor of the day in terms of like, what is in what is the best? You know, whatever it is, Perception is everything right? Perception. Yeah. And, you know, Mom says that all the time perception of everything. And, and if you always feel like you're not, you're never enough, and you know, I wrote the song Love Yourself too, to exemplify this love yourself too. Because if you don't learn to love yourself, you're always going to feel like you're not enough and therefore you're not going to be present. And if you're not going to be present, as we're saying, you're gonna have a hard time accessing these parts of yourself being creative learning about yourself. 

  So you know, I think, at the core fundamental level learning to be accepting and loving of yourself unconditionally. And that's not to say you become complacent, it's not to say that you don't work hard. It's you know, that's there's nuance to this, but I think the more that we can feel secure within ourselves, the more we can be present, like, you know, like for Hayley, right, if she didn't feel like it's okay to write music, if she didn't feel like it's okay to, to, to, to commit to that. And to feel like this is part of who I am, I gotta, I gotta have to do this. She did say that when she was younger, she was like I just wrote and wrote and wrote songs, it felt so genuine to her, it felt so comfortable. Like, if she didn't feel like that was okay, like, she could do that. And she talked about her family supporting her to do that. She may not have done it, she may not be where she is right now writing these beautiful songs. 

  And that goes for everybody, not just if you're a songwriter, but if you can feel like okay, you know, I love myself for who I am. And, you know, my life may not be perfect, I may not be perfect, there could be challenges. There's things I don't like, but I'm going to still try to love myself and my life. And therefore I can be present and work with it and make the best of it in by being open to what's possible. And you know, the theme of this season really is that when you're present, you're more open to what's possible. Doesn't mean you have to maximize everything and become like obsessed about maximizing everything but you've been more open and present. 

  Like, you know, Mark Ravin from Herb Chambers, BMW, Mini Cooper, we have a whole episode about that type of thing. And please, please check out that episode. Just amazing, beautiful soul he is, and has so much to share from something so simple, but so so meaningful, important.  

  Alexis Reid  19:04

  Yeah, you know, there's so many things that came up as you were sharing all this, but I think, you know, Will Dailey, who was another local musician here in the Massachusetts area who you know, I'm just gonna say it probably should be way bigger than he is. Everybody should know who he is. So if you don't know who he is, please check out his music. But as we were having that discussion where to be quite honest, he and I both were not in the best state of mind. I had just lost a good friend of mine. And he was actually under the weather a little bit. We ended up having this really beautiful discussion. And this is, again, the value of being in the present moment because we were just here sharing space connecting about you know about music, about process about evolution and change. And that's kind of the point I wanted to bring up that, you know, the world in life will constantly evolve and change. Technology is going to come and it's going to revolutionize things and change things in a lot of different ways. We talked a lot that a lot about this this season, especially about digital technology and how it's influencing us as humans, as learners, as people in different kinds of relationships. And, you know, Will brought up this idea that, you know, we've always been changing, we've always been connecting, we've always been telling stories. And and when we get to the human level of what that means, and we put ourselves out there, and that's essentially what, you know, any performer, not just musician does, you put yourself out there to be able to share a part of you, it's what you and I are doing right now. Right? We're putting ourselves out there to connect to the audience and people who might be listening to us. 

  But Will brought up some really important points about, you know, understanding and valuing who you are, and just showing up, right, you know, he was talking about, you know, some of the folks that have come to see him in concert, those who follow him, the other artists that he promotes and supports in getting them out there, you know, the work that he does on his podcast, again, if you haven't listened to it, it's awesome, to if you like anything about music, and culture, and history, you know, he dives into some of the great music cities in the United States. And he talks a little bit not only about the music scene there, but also about the culture and what influenced it called Sounds of OUR [correction] town, right? Yep, Sound of OUR Town, check it out. 

  But you know, it's all about making those connections and helping people connect with information that maybe they're not privy to, or maybe they haven't been exposed to. And in this digital world, whatever you might think of it, and you and I have mixed mixed feelings oftentimes about, you know, the vulnerabilities that we kind of have when we are connecting so readily and easily. But we can also access so much that I think is really valuable. 

  And going back to your story about the gas station, and tying in this idea of what Mark was talking about, and just showing up and being kind, right, I always say, and then I've said this before, on the podcast, I say to my clients all the time, that I can't control, the negativity, darkness, or any kind of energy, that might bring down any room in situation, but I can control my own light. And I can control what I put out there and how I show up every day. And even in moments when I don't feel great. And I will honor and value those moments; that I still show up. Right, I might not have the same level of energy that same level of enthusiasm or commitment. But my commitment and dedication to the thing I choose to be a part of is there. And always this and it always will be because I can't change other people's darkness, I can't change other people's way they think about the world, all I can do is show up and try to shine bright. And I think that is probably one of the most important things we as humans can do. And I loved that that was such a big theme this season. And everybody's sharing about how, you know, when when you are committed to a thing, you feel the passion behind it, you understand the value that it brings to other people, and you just show up makes a world of difference.

  Gerald Reid  23:02

  Yeah, and everyone's different, right? Whatever your quote, unquote, superpower is, use it like you can be a funny person. And you're gonna, like, you know, go tell a joke to someone and make and brighten their day, you know, you can be someone who's very clever and helps to solve problems, you can be someone who is very able to do something other people aren't able to do and he can be helpful to them, right? There's so many ways to show up and be positive, you don't have to be a musician, you don't have to be you know, an influencer, you don't have to be, you know, you don't have to be some like celebrity to make an impact. And to make the world just a little bit better, just the people around you. At the end of the day, we're going to live, we're going to die and you know, these relationships that we have, and the people that around us, you know, that's a lot of times what we have the most impact over in terms of what we can do to make things better. And hopefully, you know, it's a downstream effect, you know, someone you may be, you know, you help someone in me as a therapist, you as what you do in your educational therapy, you know, we hope that you know, just helping someone can help them to help other people. And who knows what they'll do, maybe they'll end up you know, solving some complex, you know, societal problem or problem in their community, your problem here or there, right? 

  We hope that that's the case. You know, that's the ideal version of this. And, you know, we don't try to think we can control you know, things in life, certain things you just can't control, you just try to do your best. But, you know, I think if you can find what your role is and find where you fit in to making things better, more positive, certainly figure out what that might be. And it's different for everybody. There's a reason people are different. No, thank God, people are different. It's not like Pleasantville where everybody's the same and it's like, what's the point of that we won't be able to, you know, balance each other out. Everyone's got strengths and weaknesses. 

  You know, Alexis and I we’re siblings, we're different. And we just had this beautiful party to celebrate her book that came out. And just really nice people showed up. have to show support and to have a good time. And, you know, one of the things I said to everybody I said, you know, the yin and the yang, the yin and the yang, are different, but they need each other, and they balance each other out. And I do feel that Alexis and I are like that we do need each other. And over the years, we've learned to grow into our relationship, as siblings professionally, personally as family, and it's one of the most beautiful things that I can say has happened in my life, because we have, you know, a wonderful relationship to make that work. And we hope it's a model for other people too, to see that it's possible because we hear people say, like, oh, I can't stand my sibling. Oh, they’ll say I love my sibling, like it's a 0% or 100%. (Alexis: there’s that range again). So, you know, nothing's zero or 100%. We know. 

  Alexis Reid  25:51

  And I will say even our relationship has siblings and friends and colleagues is more like 87- 95%. And between that range, right, because we are so different. We are the yin and the yang and, and there's friction sometimes, and there's stuff that comes up and we want to be real, we don't want to paint a picture that everything needs to be just a certain way all the time, we want to be real, and recognize and acknowledge the challenges that come up in life, even in the most loving relationship and respectful relationships, whether it's with a romantic partner, or family member, or friendship or colleague, you know, there's gonna be stuff that comes up. 

  And this is why we do the exploration to understand ourselves. And I love what you're saying Jer, and how you really are emphasizing this idea of loving yourself. I say this all the time, I work with a lot of individuals who might have characteristics of ADHD, which, you know, in that one episode about parenting children with ADHD, that was probably the most I will ever say the name of a label, at any one given time, because there's characteristics that a lot of us might embody at different points in our lives, whether or not you have a diagnosis, or you have been managing and understanding yourself as somebody who has attentional difficulties your whole life. So I want to acknowledge that I work with these people who are often very divergent thinkers. But they're often some of the most creative, intelligent, logical, incredible people, talented people that have so much to share. And oftentimes, what they hear from the world and the environments around them, that there's something wrong with them. 

  And this is why I don't hold on to labels so tightly, because I want us to be able to look at neuro divergence in a way that we can celebrate it that we couldn't embrace and understand and appreciate it. And when we learn to love ourselves, and sometimes this is a lifetime journey. You know, I joke that, you know, after I turned 40, I was like, oh, okay, I just don't care anymore. Right? Like, I don't care. Not that I don't care. Anybody who knows me knows I care very deeply about a lot of things and a lot of people. But I don't care about the noise. I don't care about like the what ifs or the who mights or the should I’s, or I should, right? It's less of that point of comparison that you mentioned before the internal judgment and dialogue that sometimes is the thing that holds us back. And I mentioned in the episode with Will, you know, the Buddhist story about the second dart that, you know, sometimes things are gonna hurt, especially when you're trying stuff for the first time that you're not familiar with, that might be uncomfortable. But it can be uncomfortable and frustrating. But does it have to be that way forever? Right? We don't need to be hit by that second, third, fourth, fifth dart, yeah, we can let it ride. And guess what, oftentimes, if we give it space time, and we get the proper support to go through that process, whether it's by ourselves with a trusted friend or family member, or, you know, a professional, it will heal, we can heal, we can be resilient.

  Gerald Reid  28:57

  Yeah, you know, to make me think of a lot of patients I work with, and just being a person who goes through life, you know, you realize that when you're going through transitions and changes and adjustments, we talked about this in the anxiety episode of season three, that when you're going through these changes is going to be uncomfortable, and I have found working with patients is that, you know, that's when those doubts really creep in. You doubt yourself, Oh, my God, am I am I a terrible person? Am I worthy? Is my life falling apart? You know, all these extreme thoughts and doubts tend to happen when we're uncomfortable. And my job as a therapist I have found is that, you know, people are going to come to me, and maybe they were even like, they took a break from therapy because they're doing okay, and then some big transition happened to come back or even if they're just going through therapy in general. You know, my job is to help to remind them, oh, you've been through a big change like this before. Do you remember when you started to have these big doubts, about yourself, about life, about relationships, and then everything kind of just worked itself out because we kind of work through it together. That's really grounding, really important. And to the season's theme of connection, I guess our entire podcast is about connections. I think we need important relationships, people who really know us who pay attention to us who really can put those pieces together, as you said, to give a good argument about why that's true. You know, so you believe, you know, we all need people to, like, reassure us sometimes, but that reassurance can't, you know, sometimes it's not good enough to say, oh, everything's gonna be fine. Don't worry, stop worrying, stop worrying. 

  It's really important to have a really deep connection with someone where you can really make a good argument why it's going to be okay. And sometimes I've even talked to other you know, younger people who are afraid of their future about going to college about, you know, the prospects of, you know, the economy, like, whatever it is, if they're afraid of the future. And I try to remind them, look, I know who you are, I've gotten to know you, here's all the qualities that make you who you are. And those qualities are going to be there now and in the future. And it's those qualities that are going to sustain you through whatever uncertainties and challenges that you're afraid of might happen. And how important is that?

  Alexis Reid  31:06

  I think is so important. And, you know, again, going back over some of the episodes we recorded for season four, Will talks about this, that he was able to put himself out there with his fans a little bit differently, because I think he values I'm going to speak for him Will correct me if I'm wrong, I imagine that you feel more comfortable taking some creative risks, because you know, the people who are in your inner circle who support you will give you good feedback and guide you through it. But also that the fans who know love and appreciate you are going to embrace that process and that journey with you. And you know, same goes for Mark Ravin, who was talking about his mom who saw in him, you know, parts of him that were really difficult that he was working so hard to be successful at school and try to make things work. And sometimes he was butting up against different factors that were kind of getting him off track. And she really embraced and trusted in him, which I think helped him to trust in himself.

  Gerald Reid  32:01

  Right. She reminded him look, as long as you're honest, you're good to people, you try your best. Like, again, like what we were saying before, like she knew him she understood. These qualities are gonna help you to and turns out, he's, he's, he's doing great, you know. 

  Alexis Reid  32:16

  Pretty amazing. Oh, we had again, you mentioned the party that we had, and Mark and his fiance were there. And I can't tell you how many of my friends and colleagues were like, Who was that guy? He was the best. And yeah, I was like, yep, listen to his podcast. I'm like, we agree, one of the best people we've known. So you know, it's really nice to hear that and to appreciate it. And I always say, if you see something, say something, right? It's an, especially if it's something positive, even if it's something as like, my new, as like an aesthetic, you appreciate somebody's outfit or shoes or hair, like, you know, just comment like, oh, yeah, I really appreciate that about you, or I really liked what you did there. 

  You know, it doesn't need to be something that's over the top, you don't need to say too much. We want to be respectful and polite, right, of course of people's bodies and presence. But if you see something that you're struck by in a really positive way, you might change the trajectory of somebody's day.

  And Jer you know, you were talking about transitions and changes in life. And I'm gonna bring this into the episode, this is going to be a stark departure from making people's days brighter, but I'm bringing it into the episode that we did with with Melissa and Jen in talking about bullying, that oftentimes people who are going through really uncomfortable changes in life really difficult situations, they may be the ones that end up inflicting harm on others, right? When you're hurt, oftentimes, you hurt others. And I want us to think about this. And we kind of posed the whole conversation and discussion about bullying. And I would think a little different light than most people talk about it that we weren't, you know, we were obviously we're appreciating the the victims and the community that gets impacted by these types of behaviors. But we also kind of put a lens on the bully themselves to think about what might be some of the factors that could be impacting the behaviors that are coming from an individual at a certain point in time. And you mentioned these changes, these these difficulties that might come up in life and how that might change a person's behavior to act out in a certain way.  

  Gerald Reid  34:37

  Yeah, I mean, if you're hurting, right, that's like pent up energy. And if you don't have a way to heal that or to work through it, or to feel supported through your own pain, like that pent up energy is gonna go somewhere, you know, if you want to just use it as a metaphor, right? It's like a boiling pot. If you put the lid on the top, it's gonna boil over right, and it's gonna burn someone. And so, you know, I did write that song Hurt Hearts Hurt, you know, which is what you just said, you know, when you're hurting, you can hurt other people. And the premise of the song in the chorus is to actually, you know, put it to words, put your pain into words, put in the work to help yourself heal, to help yourself, get the support you need. 

  And look, you know, we know that there's a lot of barriers to getting help, right, maybe you don't have the best people in your life that really can understand you to help you. But you know, take that first step, it could be, you know, seeking out a therapist, it could be talking to someone in your workplace, it could be someone in the school system, you know, wherever it is in the community, you know, just start and kind of explore, right, and when you're looking for help, you may not find the best fit in the beginning, but you can get a little support from someone, maybe a different type of support from someone else. Sometimes it could be a piecemeal form of support. Right? You know, don't think of it as 0% or 100%. Yeah. Because I know, I hear that a lot from people, you know, even as I'm, you know, working with people in therapy, those that say, oh, that person doesn't understand me, they can't support me. Well, what can they support you with? What What aspect of them? Do they bring to your life, that's, that's positive, you know, even if there's negative, and, you know, there's certainly different contexts, and nuances to that, too. 

  Alexis Reid  36:13

  And this is something that will come up in future episodes, thinking about even romantic relationships, that we, we sometimes will think one person will be able to give us everything, to be able to do everything for us. And the reality is, is that, you know, sometimes like you say, might need to be a little bit of something different from different people at different points in time. Right. And that's the beauty in life is that we oftentimes we feel like we are in this small, little bubble, but the reality is that we're in such an expansive world, that we can gain access in different ways from different things and people. 

  But you know, I want to bring it back to I'm so glad that Jen and Melissa talked about some of the research that they did, because they really highlighted especially in a school setting, that there are some teachers that certain students feel more comfortable going to, and thinking about, and I say this all the time that oftentimes educators being curious, instead of just trying to solve problems, oftentimes students can really benefit from having that relationship, or they build trust in somebody who's going to ask them questions, who's going to be curious about their situation, or their circumstance? And, and really, oftentimes, you build the trust in the student in the individual to feel comfortable exploring more, why is why am I feeling this way? What is something I do? Where do I have agency to make a change that's going to help me feel better protect myself, protect those around me, who might be in a not great situation, or even to like, share some love and support for those who might be struggling and hurting others?

  Gerald Reid  37:49

  Yeah, definitely. You know, it comes down to you know, one of the themes of the season two is about beliefs, your beliefs can inform and influence how you act with other people. And I think what you're saying is, if you're curious, if you if you're not gonna make assumptions about people that, you know, they're just, they're just bad people, they just don't care. They're just this, they're just that right. 0% 100%, right, if you if you if you're making assumptions like that, that belief is going to shape how you interact with someone. 

  But if you feel like wait, maybe there's something going on under the hood, as we talked about, right? Maybe there's something else happening, that's going on internally, that’s leading the person to be the way or to act the way they are. And maybe I had to get more curious and open to understand that. That's a big part of you know, there's the there's whole therapies revolving around this to help parents with their child is to help to collaboratively and cooperatively problem solve with their child, and we talked a lot about this with the ADHD parenting episode, is to be curious to be open, you know, maybe there's a problem that hasn't been solved, maybe there's an aspect of their weaknesses that needs to be supported, maybe we have to, you know, help to develop their weaknesses, or to change the context so their weaknesses are not always being activated. You know, there's different specific examples of that you can look, listen back to that episode for examples, but certainly, you know, we make assumptions and judgments about people all the time. And, you know, I always think about this you ever, like, see someone you're like, I don't know, if I really like that person, you just kind of come across them, you're like, I don't know, if we're gonna get along, or we might make a judgment. And then like, you kind of interact with them more, or you get more exposure to them, get to know them in a different way or in a different context. And he actually ended up being very friendly with them, and he actually liked that person. And you know, that, to me, that's one of the coolest experiences of life.

  Alexis Reid  39:37

  I'm glad you brought that up because it comes up so much in our work where people will kind of have one experience with an individual, you know, whether it's with my clients and a teacher or a peer or a friend, or classmate or a teammate, and sometimes that just colors our entire experience with them, just that one encounter. We can talk a little bit more about like openness as a personnel any trait that helps you to kind of take in information and not be so rigid black and white all or nothing 0% to 100%, right, we need to think about the gradations, we need to think about the gray space to be able to see that there's different parts of people, different parts of experience, circumstances in life, right.

  Gerald Reid  40:18

  And like, you can even, you can even influence the reaction you're getting from someone, right? Like, let's say, you know, you, you're in a situation with someone, and you're the one making a judgment against the person, or you're worried that they're judging you. And you're all like, wrapped up in worrying about judgments, and then you kind of act a certain way towards them, that's a little bit off putting, and then they don't feel like they can connect with you. Or maybe they're a little hesitant to interact with you, because you're so on edge or so defensive or so vigilant, you know, so like, it goes both ways. And, you know, as we're talking about connection, I'm not exactly sure how we got here. You know, just thinking about different ways that, you know, your beliefs influence how you interact with people, because it could, you know, it could become a self fulfilling prophecy I talk a lot about this in therapy is, sometimes we have to kind of realize that we may be, you know, in some ways, influencing the very thing we don't want to happen, right? If we're afraid of not being liked, we may act in a certain way, that's, maybe we're judging the other person, because we don't want to be judged ourselves. And it turns out that that person doesn't like us, because we're acting a certain way that's judgmental, and we're not actually showing our full selves towards them. 

  Alexis Reid  41:27

  I think I think that's really important. And essentially, this is why Lisa and I wrote this book about executive functions, because a lot of educators make a lot of assumptions about why students behave in the way that they do. You know, they're always disorganized, they can't plan, they can't, they have no time management skills. They're very forgetful, they just don't care. They're lazy, they're unmotivated, whatever the case maybe, and what we did, and as she described, in our episode together, when we were releasing the book for the first time, you know, she talked about, like, we get under the hood of what's happening, we really think about some of the neuro psychological factors that might be impacting a student in any given point in time. And, you know, when we understand, I think it helps to shape and change our beliefs about others, you know, and maybe this is both my superpower and Achilles heel, which I call, but you know, when people behave in a way that maybe isn't tolerable or acceptable or kind… or it might be hurtful, you know, I have a tendency to be able to say, Well, what else is going on? What what was getting in their way of showing up in a kind, polite, respectful way? 

  And it was, again, Achilles heel, because sometimes I am very understanding. But I also think that's my superpower. What makes me great at the work I do, because there's usually something that gets in the way. Right? What is their goal was their goal really to have an abrasive interaction? Probably not. Not many people enjoy that. Right. But maybe there were something that happened, you know, there's usually something that happens in somebody's day, that colors their day in a certain way. Or they might have, you know, stubbed their toe first thing in the morning when they got out of bed, or they spilled coffee on themselves and made it late made them late for work or school, or, you know, sometimes just out of their mind about something stressed out of their mind. I mean, these are just little things that could happen. There could be bigger things that happen. I talk all it all the time with educators about there might be food insecurity, students might not have a place to live at home, there might have been a huge argument or caregiver or a family member who got in some serious trouble the night before. And these kids are showing up and we don't know what their history is. So their behaviors might be directly related to circumstances that happen that are outside of their control, or other factors like neurobiological factors that impact their cognitive functioning. We talked a lot about this also in the episode with Dr. Gloria Mark, where we're talking about attention and emotional regulation, and how do we increase and improve executive function skills by really just being aware of how we're engaging interacting with the world, especially the digital world.

  Gerald Reid  44:10

  Yeah, definitely. So as we're kind of getting toward the end of the episode, I want to highlight something that someone said to me in one of my therapy sessions, it was very profound. Sometimes I really, oftentimes, I really appreciate my patients who are younger, share their experience growing up in this digital age. It's because they are in some, you know, it's like, it's,

  Alexis Reid  44:35

  They're not geriatric millennials like us? We had a whole episode on how technology and digital technology has impacted us.

  Gerald Reid  44:43

  Right, yeah, geriatric millennials, that means that we were exposed to some digital technology and an immense amount of digital technology so we can see both sides of it. And that's what he's talking about. Seeing both sides is a lot of times helpful. So one of the things that was said to me about this digital age is that, and I think I mentioned something this in that episode as well, there's so much information. And there's so many like clips saying, like, do this and your life will get better or always, this is always important. And back to that 100% joke. This is always important where this always fits, you know, a lot of information could be misconstrued because it could lose, it can not have context, it cannot be individualized to the person, it could not have nuance. And for these reasons, I think, you know, the caution of consuming so much information in small bits, and you know, Gloria Mark, and you talked about, you know, we're kind of snacking, digital snacking, we're taking a little bite sized pieces of information, but we're not seeing the bigger picture, we're not seeing the bigger context in which we're integrating this information to ourselves. And my patients had this really interesting thing, he said, You know, it's almost like everyone's online just to find these life hacks. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with life hacks, like, there's some really cool, interesting ideas that people have, it's like, really, even as a therapist, I'm like, That's a good idea, actually, someone can really benefit from that. But at the same time, you know, our caution is, you know, life is not about just finding all these… it’s not like a game to just continuously hack, you know, ourselves into, like, fix ourselves or to like, you know, to constantly see problems and solve them, right. 

  So, you know, as a therapist, I'm always trying to see like, life is a journey, you got to see the bigger picture, you got to, you know, be engaged in the process and the journey of life rather than seeing, you know, things as like all or nothing, you know, you got to fix this, you got to fix that you got to, you know, this information is always important at all times, to me, and you know, you got to see things in more context. And it takes the pressure off to write when you're exposed to stuff that's constantly telling you fix this, fix that about yourself, this is wrong, this is right, there's a judgment, you're not good enough, you're not this, you're not that enough, or you got to fix this, you're doing this all wrong, that's overwhelming. I cannot imagine being a kid growing up seeing all that stuff. And I'm not saying everybody's trying to do that, or I'm not even saying that it's always like this on the internet. But there's certainly times when people can be exposed to these types of messages.

  Alexis Reid  47:19

  There’s a lot of people trying to sell a lot of things right now. Right?

  Gerald Reid  47:23

  You know, it is what it is, there can be a lot of useful stuff out there. But you know, our message here is like, you know, sometimes having a really good relationship with someone who really understands you knows you, understands the context in which you live in, have grown up in and the relationships you have your strengths and your weaknesses, all the nuances of your life. And you that's really important to have when you're trying to navigate understanding yourself and understanding how to navigate life. And it's not always as simple as like, let's just find all these life hacks and like, you know, upload them like in The Matrix, let me just like, plug this into my brain and like, take all these new life hacks,

  Alexis Reid  48:03

  I think, you know, in education and in my work, and I try to be careful about this. This is why I didn't specifically talk about to increase and improve executive function skills. These are the things you have to do build the toolkit, have the backpack full strategies or whatever. Because life is constantly changing contexts impacts what we need at different points in time. And any given day, you might need something different, right? So even the person who knows you so well, they might not know exactly what you're experiencing in a moment. Right? So I think you're saying is the connection piece the conversation, helping people to better understand that life is an evolving changing thing for for everybody. And we need to accept, appreciate and understand that because, you know, there's different chapters and seasons in life. 

  And I really love some of the cultural nuances in the Japanese culture. And there's this idea of kaizen; hope I'm saying it correctly. There's actually a book that's on my list for this summer to read called Kaizen because that whole idea is about improvement, but only like 1% improvement. It's not like I'm gonna totally change and revamp my life. It's like, what's one thing that maybe I can focus on today, or this week or this month, this season of my life? Because we all have different seasons. And I've mentioned this before, that we don't really pay attention to how our environment shapes and change us changes us until we realize that we've changed or something's happening, or something feels uncomfortable. But you know, just as the seasons change, environmentally, especially in New England, there's stark differences. Well, not as much now, but between summer and fall and winter and spring, you know, those aspects of life also impact us how we sleep, how we interact, how much we're getting outside what we think what we feel, all the things. 

  So even when we have this set of skills that we think work well for us, and this whole idea of biohacking. You know, there's a lot of things that are really what we know right now are scientifically proven. But there's been a lot of scientifically proven things over the years that have shifted and changed. I was talking to somebody this weekend about how, you know, back in the day, this was good for kids. But now it's not. And things are constantly evolving and changing. So we don't want to get too hooked to any one thing. But the thing that we are advocating for here today, in the season and in this podcast is, it is really helpful to get to know yourself. And to become a friend with yourself. Loving yourself might be an ultimate goal for you. But that's also difficult to do sometimes. But we can share appreciation and compassion for ourselves in a way that hopefully, like the idea of kaizen, helps to move you forward, even if it's just 1% or half of a percent. At any given time point that you're you're evolving and changing because life forces us to do so. You know, we think about the lifespan and developmental trajectories, different points in our life, we have a need and use and do things differently. 

  You know, me right now in my early 40s, I will say it, I'm proud to say it, you know, my body is not as strong as it used to be, my back hurts way more than it used to. I don't sleep as well as I used to, like those are things that I you know, maybe there are little hacks that I can improve. But will it go back to the way it was when I was in my 20s? Probably not? Will I sleep 10 hours like I used to when I was a teenager, probably not. If I do, I'm probably pretty sick and need to rest. But I need to pay attention to all that we need to pay attention to that in ourselves. And we hope that these episodes are helping you to do that to find a little bit more about yourself. 

  And I want to just go over just I have like a million, maybe not a million, probably at least like 40 different points of connection that I think we covered in the season. And I'm going to just share a few and then I'm not going to share all. Don't worry, I'll share a few. But I want us to end in integers. You can think about this, as I'm sharing some of these points of connection that we identified and addressed this season. But I'm going to share a little bit about what I would like to connect more to this summer for me, and things that maybe I want to release a little bit more of in my life. So that's where we'll end. I'll let you think about that as I share some points of connection. 

  We talked about connection through collaboration with your child and working together, connection to the failures and frustrations. How do we ride it out together, giving attention to the challenging moments, because oftentimes, they teach us a lot, connection and awareness of timing, when to talk about tough moments and how to do things, connections with family connections with joy, I don't think we do that enough. Sometimes we just focus on the goal or the task, what we need to do versus sometimes we can figure that stuff out when we just take a break when we step outside of it. And we do something joyful or fully connected to somebody else or something else. Practicing and preparing the appreciation of all the moments, you know, why does it help? Why does it hurt? Why does it impair? Having that connection and awareness again, is so important in slowing things down. Simplicity. And consistency is often the best medicine you want to hack. What's one can we slow things down? Simplify our life a little bit and build some consistency in the small routines and things that might be helpful.

  Gerald Reid  53:41

  Yeah, I mean, one of the best experiences I have as a therapist is when we have conversations that kind of set the stage, we talked about the we talked about all the aspects of their life and all the factors, the variables that kind of go into whatever problem they have is manifested, right? And we kind of put all the pieces together, right? And at that point, you know, instead of just saying, Hey, you should do this. I say, What do you think about that? First, I asked, How do you feel about it? Because I want to know what it feels like to kind of make sense of things, you know, more holistically or to kind of make sense of how these variables and pieces fit together. Internal variables like relationship, environment, context, strengths, weaknesses, all this stuff, right. So first, I want to know, how does it feel to kind of put all these pieces together and make sense of it? Secondly, my second question usually is, before I say anything, like what do you think? What do you think you can do with this?

  Alexis Reid  54:37

  Can I rewind? Can I add something in? And this is my favorite question to ask the people I work with. And I asked myself this all the time. What's the goal? (Gerald: Yeah, right, right.) What do you what are you aiming for right now? Whether or not like a tangible goal, like I need to complete my homework or I want to get married or have a nice car or the job that I'm dreaming of? Like, what's the goal as in like, What are you trying to achieve right now? Are you trying to gain clarity? Are you trying to understand someone better? Are you trying to just find joy and peace in your life? Especially going into the summer?  

  Gerald Reid  55:12

  Yeah. And you know, the reason that I ask these questions is because to what we're saying before, you know, therapy is not about hacking. It's not like a life hack. It's actually about the journey, it's the process. My hope is that the person leaves therapy, being so aware of themselves so much more aware of themselves, right? It's never 100% Maybe 75%.

  Alexis Reid  55:32

  Even 35% would be okay,

  Gerald Reid  55:35

  It's unbelievable, right? You know, awareness is so important. Yeah. And I love when I have patients come back and check in with me, and they're like, you know, it's almost like I remember our conversations. So when I'm in the situation, I remember talking about that, that really fills my cup, when I hear patients; even when patients come back the next week, they're like, or like, a month later, they'll have a session, and we'll look in there, like, you know, like, maybe a month ago, you had mentioned this when we were talking about this, like, wow, that that's therapy when things get internalized, right. It's kind of like, you know…

  Alexis Reid  56:06

  Even if it's only 1% of your conversation that gets internalized, that's pretty powerful.

  Gerald Reid  56:11

  Right? And it's a process for that to happen, right? If I'm, if I'm gonna start therapy and just say, hey, you need to change this, you need change that, like, there's gonna be 0% that’s internalized. Unless they like that, unless they like that…

  Alexis Reid  56:22

  Some people respond to that. But there's a lot of shame that comes up from Oh, wow, I'm not doing any of those things, right.

  Gerald Reid  56:29

  And people need to be motivated internally, they make changes, a lot of times, they have to want to, they have to understand why. And make sense of it and feel supported while they're doing that. And even through these ups and downs, right, which is also why family therapy is helpful, because it helps the family members to be part of that process, there is going to be ups and downs there is going to be troubleshooting, you're gonna have to communicate and repair things and work things out. Right. And remember, they respect each other and love each other and make that the highest goal, right? Highest priority. 

  So all that being said, Right. Living in the digital age, we do think this is important. And Alexis does this in her work through learning, she wants people to become an expert learner. She doesn't want people to just memorize things, but to kind of learn how they learn understand themselves as a lifelong learner. And for me that's very similar to about therapy. So, you know, that's really kind of the closing remarks I have about, you know, this season and everything we're trying to really; our mission for the reconnect podcast and what we're doing in our work together. We hope that that's helpful for the audience. 

  Alexis Reid  57:28

  So you don't want me to go through the other 35 bullet points I have? No, I'm just joking. But I, you know, I think one of the big takeaways is that everything is nuanced. There is no one answer to anything. And if you find the answer, it might be like a little different version of it the next day, and especially when we're working with other people, when we're interacting with other people, there's so many variables and factors that that impact how we show up, but the thing that we can control is our own exploration of ourselves, right? That the thing that we want to be able to show up with the light that we want to shine, and I know it sounds a little cheesy, but I truly believe that and I think if more of us can start recognizing and realizing the things that we bring to any situation, it's probably the most profound and impactful thing that we can do as humans here. So okay, as promised, my goals for the summer are multifaceted. I'll just share a couple little ideas, right? So for me, and I hope you all can, if you're into journaling, you can journal this if you're into talking about it with your therapist, or your friend or a squirrel running by when you're in the park, whatever share…

  Gerald Reid  58:35

  Squirrel! Well, the movie was that? Madagascar?

  Alexis Reid  58:41

  Probably lots of movies. Let's think about the things that you want to connect to this summer, right whoever and whatever you share it whatever way you want to share it. The things that I want to connect a little bit more to myself is creativity, my family and friends which I'm I'm blessed to have started I again, I just want to give props to everybody who has been supporting us with the podcasts and with the book in our work. There were so many beautiful people that came together and so many more that wanted to be there two weeks ago and it was…I still am at a loss for words. And you all know I have a lot of words to share. But it was such a beautiful thing so many incredible people who genuinely were there to not just support us but to support the mission that they are also on together to help and support others and that was a beautiful manifestation of that. So thank you all for being a part of my world. I'm really grateful for that. 

  But I want to continue that throughout the summer I want to connect better to myself in my own body and getting healthy and listening more to my own body and heart, right? Following what's needed. Do I need to rest do I need to pause? Do I need to just like take a step outside of myself to I need to go for a walk. You know. As I've said before on this show and I'll be very honest. I get very wrapped in the flow of my work, I love what I do. And I am so blessed to do it. And it's very easy for that to become all consuming, probably for many different reasons. But mostly because I really genuinely love and appreciate what I do. 

  But I need to also walk my talk, I'm big fan of that, and I'm very honest about that I won’t support my people I work with, unless I'm doing the work myself. So this summer, I want to get better at doing that. The summer is always big for me in connecting to music and live concerts. Newport Folk Festival is like an extended family I can't wait to be a part of in a couple of weeks. It's something I look forward to all the time. And, you know, whatever it might be, that comes up in the world, new connections, new people, new creative ideas. My goal for the summer is to pick up the guitar again and try to start practicing and learning, improving my Italian skills, right? Like there's a lot of things on my list and guess what? Do I intend to do all of those 100% of the time, and work to be an expert or master any of them? Probably not. My goal is just to create space for the things I care most about. And that is hopefully my point in connection and my disconnection, I have to say this Dr. Mark, this one's for you. I really want to disconnect from technology more often. Because my work as much as I get involved in it, as she was talking about, we're often thinking and doing in front of a computer a lot of times, and I want to create more space from that.

  Gerald Reid  1:01:32

  You know, it's funny, I thought about this, like, maybe like two years ago, I was like people are on their computer or technology like all day for work. And then they come home. And it's like, man, you know, I just need to relax. I need to like unwind. I'm gonna go on another screen. It's so true. Like, oh, you know, I want to take a break from my phone and I need a break. I need to just unwind. I'm gonna look at the TV. Yeah. Or like, it's just, it's a cycle. Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it?

  Alexis Reid  1:02:00

  Yeah. And you know, in our lives, and in our worlds, we're really blessed and grateful to live in New England, where we have summers where the weather's nice, we live close to beaches, which we can get to and have access to pretty easily, especially when we're at mom's house on Cape Cod. You know, we're really blessed in so many ways and and wherever you are, take an opportunity to explore someplace new in your neighborhood in your community, just get outside of our comfort zones a little bit, is I think the message that I hope we can share, connect to something that maybe you're not always used to connecting with.

  Gerald Reid  1:02:33

  Be like a kid again, go shoot some baskets, go go for a bike ride, go for a walk like this, expand, get rid of all that judgment and worry about stuff and just take the kids' mind.

  Alexis Reid  1:02:43

  So what's your goals? What do you want to connect with the summer?

  Drumroll?  

  Gerald Reid  1:02:52

  You know, I want to look I want to look to the end of the summer and work backwards. And I want to say did I do enough to really just embrace the summertime because there's something very special about summer for me about being by the water, the fresh air, the warmth, even the nights just kind of wearing a sweatshirt when it's like not cold. You know, to me, like the little moments like that really are amazing. And so you don't realize like when winter, it's like the dead of winter, and it's like you're (Alexis: especially in Boston, I will say) yeah, like your body actually gets a little more more tense when it's so cold, right. And just something as simple as that is important to me, like I love like the warm weather and it's it, I try to embrace it. So for me, it's just, you know, the little things, just appreciating it. And if I have a chance to go do something different. Maybe you'll encourage me to get outside my comfort zone to meet some new people just be friendly and, and just just make it like that. Because, you know, you got to, I think for me as we get older, you always made fun of me for wanting to get older.

  Alexis Reid  1:03:59

  Made fun of or being confused by it? Jerry couldn't wait to get his first gray hair. To turn 30..

  Gerald Reid  1:04:11

  (laughter) Not the gray hair part. But there's something about being older. You alluded to this earlier, you know, you just care less about, you know, petty things or things that are, you know, worrying about things that you end up not having to worry about in the long run. So just really just enjoying it and making the best of just appreciating whatever I have and not making judgments about things.  

  Alexis Reid  1:04:32

  So with that I am going to conclude and maybe Jerry you might have to help me with this because I'm probably gonna get choked up but I really want to dedicate this season of connection to I'm going to start crying. Our friend Andrew Rosario who passed away this past winter at the beginning of the season, who we were blessed to have come in here last fall when he was visiting with his son. We went and visited his kids and my best friend Marilyn over Father's Day weekend, and I'll share part of the story and you can finish it up. Asher who is a rising third grader Andrew’s son, was looking outside and as soon as we showed up, the sky got really dark. And it started to rain. And I heard a whisper in my ear. I almost felt like it was Andrew being like “it’s about time you guys kept back here.” And I was like talking to him in my head for whatever it's worth, whatever you believe that that made me that brought me some comfort to have that moment kind of with him even though he wasn't there with us physically. And Asher went outside. And as the clouds cleared, he's like, Oh, well, we were like, I wonder what the skies gonna do next. And he said, I think the sky the sun's gonna set. And I said, I don't know. I'm so curious because it looks like the sun is still shining behind the clouds. I don't know what's going to happen. And we went about in our our night kind of having dinner and talking and enjoying each other's company and feeling the presence of Andrew there with us in his house. And all of a sudden, Asher ran to the window and said, Guys, look, you're not going to believe it. And there was the biggest, most beautiful rainbow I think we've ever seen. And Marilyn, you know, all the years she lived in that house. She said she's never seen a rainbow directly over her house before.

  Gerald Reid  1:06:23

  It lasted like a good half hour, too. Someone mentioned that to me the other day that like rainbows usually don't last that long. It's so bright, so prominent, it was like it would kind of fade and get real bright again. And just stayed there perfectly.

  Alexis Reid  1:06:35

  Yeah, it was it was so beautiful. It was so powerful. And are you captured the talk about capturing and connecting. You captured the most beautiful pictures that you know, just I have a loss for words in you know, Andrew's kids, my goddaughter and Asher just looked up in the sky. And we're pointing to the rainbow. And we all just appreciated that that was probably Andrew giving us a sign. And he was a huge supporter of us in this podcast and the work that we do. We know he's with us. And all that we do. So this one's for you, buddy, we miss you.

  Gerald Reid  1:07:13

  Yeah. And much love to Marilyn and her family as they get through this. 

  Alexis Reid  1:07:22

  And I didn't want to end on a sad note. But I really wanted to appreciate the love that we get and the connection that we have to keep the work that we do going. So we thank all of you out there for listening. And we wish you if you're listening now in summer of 2024; a beautiful summer ahead. We hope you have some long lasting moments because we just really need to appreciate all the opportunities, the moments, the experiences that we have, whether it is in connecting with ourselves or with each other or in the world around you. So we wish you all the best. Thanks for listening in and thanks, Jer for being my partner in this.

  Gerald Reid  1:07:59

  Thank you sis. 

  Gerald Reid  

  Thanks for tuning in to the Reid Connect-ED podcast. Please remember that this is a podcast intended to educate and share ideas, but it is not a substitute for professional care that may be beneficial to you at different points of your life. If you are needed support, please contact your primary care physician, local hospital, educational institution, or support staff at your place of employment to seek out referrals for what may be most helpful for you. ideas shared here have been shaped by many years of training, incredible mentors research theory, evidence based practices and our work with individuals over the years, but it's not intended to represent the opinions of those we work with or who we are affiliated with. The reconnected podcast is hosted by siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid. Original music is written and recorded by Gerald Reid (www.Jerapy.com) recording was done by Cyber Sound Studios. If you want to follow along on this journey with us the Reid Connect-ED podcast. we'll be releasing new episodes every two weeks each season so please subscribe for updates and notifications. Feel free to also follow us on Instagram @ReidConnectEdPodcast that's @ReidconnectEdPodcast and Twitter @ReidconnectEd. We are grateful for you joining us and we look forward to future episodes. In the meanwhile be curious, be open, and be well.

In this final episode of Season 4, Gerald and Alexis discuss the themes that emerged from their interviews and conversations throughout the season that relate to connection with others, connection with something outside of ourselves, and the connections we make within ourselves. Season 4 included interviews with folk-pop critically acclaimed singer-songwriter Hayley Reardon talking about connection with song, Boston-based rocker Will Dailey talking about what it’s like navigating a career in the music industry, Drs. Melissa Holt and Jennifer Greif Green talking about childhood bullying, Mark Ravin of Herb Chambers of Boston Mini/BMW dealership talking about showing up and caring for others, Alexis and Gerald discussing ways of parenting children with ADHD, Alexis and Lisa Carey, Ed.d. talk about their new book for teachers about how to support executive functions in the classroom, Alexis and Gerald discussing connection in the digital age, and lastly Dr. Gloria Mark sharing her research and expertise on attention and focus. 

Be curious. Be Open. Be well.

The ReidConnect-Ed Podcast is hosted by Siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid, produced by and original music is written and recorded by www.Jerapy.com

*Please note that different practitioners may have different opinions- this is our perspective and is intended to educate you on what may be possible.