S1 E3: What is Social Anxiety?

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• EPISODE RESOURCES

• EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

  • Social anxiety is not the same as being introverted, shy, or slow to warm up.

  • Social anxiety is rooted in a persistent fear and worry of being judged or negatively evaluated by others.

  • The worry can manifest before, during, or after a social interaction.

  • Avoidance of the possibility of being negatively evaluated is a common feature of social anxiety. The avoidance can be subtle or overt. Even perfectionism or not being open to help can be a form of avoidance of appearing vulnerable.

  • People can feel conflicted about what it means to be confident versus being vulnerable, including when and how that makes the most sense for you.

  • Feeling uncomfortable with who you are, and feeling a need to change or to be someone else, can contribute to social anxiety.

  • Social anxiety tends to start around middle school years and can evolve into other mental health conditions. Other mental health conditions can also increase social anxiety. 

  • Exploring interests, values, and ways of being is a normal part of development as an adolescent and beyond.

  • Social anxiety is very common among individuals with other mental health conditions. 

  • Sometimes individuals may not even realize they experience social anxiety. There are a lot of ways individuals compensate for social anxiety, in some ways that can be adaptive and in other ways it can be maladaptive.

  • Overcoming social anxiety to ask for help can in turn lead to becoming more competent by receiving help, which can decrease social anxiety.

  • If we are self conscious about something and think so much about this one thing, we can assume everyone else is also thinking about this one thing.

  • Individuals from certain collectivist cultures may have social anxiety about disrupting the group harmony rather than worrying about being judged individually. 

  • Research out of San Diego State University suggests youth mental health has increased at the same time smartphones were being used more often than not.

  • Social media may feed into social anxiety in terms of perceiving the need to present oneself a certain way to avoid negative judgment. 

  • There can be benefits to new virtual ways of interacting and also potential downsides. For instance, with a greater amount of structure in how people interact (e.g., social media), individuals may lose confidence in being able to interact in more fluid "real world" situations.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps individuals break down social anxiety into parts to see how it develops over time and maintains over time. It helps individuals analyze their thoughts and beliefs about themselves and others, expectations, and reactions before, during, and after social interactions.

  • Validating and being curious to learn about one's perspective can be powerful to help those with social anxiety rather than just telling them to get over it when they are socially anxious. This is not the same as ruminating with them about their worries but to acknowledge their perspective and help them to think more critically. This process of organizing one's thoughts, etc., can be difficult for individuals with executive function difficulties. 

  • Adjusting to and previewing (not necessarily obsessing) new situations and relationships can help ease social anxiety rather than assuming the worst in the uncertainty. 

  • Relationships can change and evolve over time, try to be open to the process.

  • Try to be more present during interactions rather than attempting to control everything or the outcome. This can allow nice things to happen more naturally.

  • When one's life is out of sorts, this can contribute to social anxiety. Therapy can address people to get their life together, solve problems, etc. so they feel more secure with how their life is going and more secure with others.

  • Exposure therapy can help individuals to try something they are avoiding little by little to overcome social anxiety. It helps them get used to it and realize more evidence as to what really happens as opposed to what the worry and fear tells them will happen. It also helps individuals to cope with challenges that may happen afterwards rather than seeing it as an all encompassing bad experience. 

  • CBT aims to help individuals to not generalize one situation to all situations. 

  • To be human is to be insecure in some way. We are all in the same boat as vulnerable human beings. It is helpful to model how we can accept this vulnerability. 

  • A simple check in and helping others to genuinely feel good about who they are can go a long way.

• TRANSCRIPTION

Episode three breaks down and discusses the topic of social anxiety. Dr. Reid and Alexis discuss the differences between social anxiety and personality traits, adjusting to social situations, and preparing for different circumstances and experiences that may come up in our lives. 

Be curious. Be Open. Be well.

The ReidConnect-Ed Podcast is hosted by Siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid.

*Please note that different practitioners may have different opinions- this is our perspective and is intended to educate you on what may be possible.