S3 E6: Communication in Relationships
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Communication takes place across all relationships, such as friendships, romantic partnerships, teachers, students, coaches, athletes, coworkers, bosses, managers, etc.
Although communication is so much the glue in relationships, it is not necessarily something we explicitly and directly learn how to do effectively in life.
There are so many traps that individuals can fall into when it comes to communication and understanding one another. For example, we can assume we know what others are thinking, what they want/need, and what they want to say (mind-reading), have unreasonable expectations, etc. That is often because our anxiety urges us to try to predict the future. At the same time, being in a deep relationship can involve being attuned to one another such that you can more accurately predict and identify what the other person is thinking, feeling, and wanting/needing but that takes a lot of time, attention, and trust being built over time.
Executive functions are actually highly involved in communication. For example, working memory helps us to hold information in my mind while also figuring out how to interpret that information, how to respond, etc. When we get anxious, these executive functions can weaken.
We have so many thoughts in a given day and yet we may not say nearly as many of these thoughts.
It is common for people to not say exactly what they mean when speaking, especially when we go through life on automation without being reflective. Our simplified words can be superficial versions of what we would otherwise communicate in a different context or way. This can be especially true when we are highly emotional. For example, someone may want to be understood but instead yell at the other person or push them away instead of directly asking to be understood. Anxiety, anger, and other emotions (rooted in beliefs, interpretations, and perceptions) can also skew the accuracy of what we communicate and how we understand and interpret what others are communicating (e.g., their intentions).
Therapy can help you slow things down and reflect on how you think, what you believe, and what you hope to communicate more effectively and accurately.
Communicating well through uncertainty (and tolerating uncertainty) is an important skill of leadership.
How we communicate with ourselves can also be a habit and a way to justify our behaviors.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you get more in touch with your values and what is meaningful to you so that you can identify if your communication patterns are moving you closer or further away from these values/meaning.
Sometimes people can communicate well in one way (or in one context) but less so in another way (or in another context).
We can treat communication as a process in of itself, where we can work on getting closer and closer to communicating effectively, accurately, in a way that works well for you and the other person. It can require us to inhibit ourselves, step back and reflect, and try different ways of communicating.
It can help to check in with the other person to see how they are reacting to you and what you are communicating to them. Communication is a two-way street. People can interpret and react in so many different ways and in ways that we may not expect or assume.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches that multiple things can be true and/or valid at the same time rather than butting heads with someone over what and who is right versus wrong and where blame is placed, which can prevent nuance, context, and mutual understanding. So often, there can be multiple reasons for what causes a particular outcome.
Everyone comes to you with a different perspective. Empathy can be difficult when emotions are high and beliefs so opposed; however, everyone’s perspective comes from somewhere. People are the way they are for reasons, many reasons in which you may never know until you get to know their experiences, environment, and influences throughout their life.
It can help to communicate with the goal of trying to understand the other person first. Simply understanding one another in a deeper and more nuanced way can be productive, helpful, and sometimes even therapeutic in of itself, even if disagreements remain.
It is important to consider how the context can influence a person’s communication. For example, a teacher (or coach) can find it difficult to communicate effectively with each individual student (or athlete) due to the context of having to address the class as a whole, including all the challenges that can come with that.
Changes in behavior can actually be a signal of communication that something is ‘off’ within the individual. Simply checking in, “Hey, how are you feeling?” may go a long way for that person, without becoming a therapist yourself or mind-reading, it can just be curious and genuine check-ins that can make the difference in relationships.
Complex problems may require complex solutions, so it can help to slow things down and better understand the problem before trying to problem-solve. It also helps to reduce resentment and anger and fear that can create more problems and lead to spiraling in communication. Anger may motivate action; however, it can be very difficult to engage with and use anger in an appropriate, healthy, and adaptive way. We may lose touch with the big-picture, common goals, and how to think more clearly. Taking space and reducing the emotional activation can help to think more clearly and re-engage our executive function skills, especially when addressing complex problems.
Set a higher-order goal to align yourself around so that you can actually make progress toward improving communication in a relationship.
Sometimes people can be upset about something unrelated but displace those upset emotions onto someone, like they are collateral damage. The other person can feel bad about it and/or even feel unjustified guilt as if they did something wrong when they did not.
Being overly-positive in a way that is not genuine may not come across very well. At the same time, we can share positive things with each other in an open, genuine, and free way (not just while using technology), such as giving a genuine compliment, noticing the positives, and showing appreciation for someone rather than just assuming the person knows you appreciate them. Feeling genuinely appreciated can be some of the best moments of our life. Social media and the media may skew us to think in an all-or-nothing, extreme (negative or positive) version of reality, such that we lose touch with the natural, everyday, content, and less dramatized ways of interacting with one another.
We can try to find common ground and ways to bond with others with whom we have differences, which takes time, exposure, and effort.
It can help to proactively communicate your limits with others; otherwise, you may find yourself in situations where you feel trapped and resentful. It can be hard to self-advocate if you are sensitive to how others are feeling and have anxiety about it.
Look for the good/the positives in others; otherwise you may not find it. We can have reminders each day to do that; otherwise, we can get caught up in automation and forget about it.
It takes time to figure out how we can communicate with others; but be patient with yourself and with others.
People can need different things and have different preferences and ways for how they navigate their day to day life so it can help to understand each other to respect and honor those differences. At the same time, we can all learn to be flexible because each of us affects the other people around us and being too rigid may have negative consequences. There’s not always one way to communicate all the time across all contexts, it often depends. Communication in a respectful, open, and clear way can help the process.
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Alexis Reid 00:14
Welcome back to the Reid Connect-Ed podcast. In everyone's day, we're constantly interacting with other people within and around our environments. With each interaction, we learn a little bit more about what to expect. And if we're lucky, a little bit about ourselves. Each one of these interactions ultimately shapes our behaviors and potentially establishes relationships. Now, when we talk about relationships, we're not just referring to romantic partnership. But we're really describing the full spectrum of relationships, the full gamut of friends, families, coworkers, community members, acquaintances, and of course, also romantic relationships. With each relationship, there may be different roles and expectations that come along with them. And I like the old adage of sometimes people come into your life for a reason, a season or forever. So thinking back in your own lives, we're sure you can identify different versions or levels and intensities of relationships that you've had, whether it be the nostalgia of a classmate or childhood friend, mentorship from a coach, teacher, or other respected adult in your life, family relationships, or even a first romantic relationship or crash. So think back to that time and consider what was necessary to establish or maintain that relationship. Because today, we're not just going to focus on relationships, but we're going to focus on the primary foundation that allows for us to have good solid relationships. And that key tenant that we're going to focus on today is communication.
Gerald Reid 02:10
So Alexis, this is a great topic for us to discuss, because our job is basically to communicate with people, right, you meet with individuals every day. And your job is to work with them collaboratively around their learning and their education and the teachers that you work with as well for their professional development. And my job as a therapist, and a consultant, and an educator at the college level is also to communicate, that's pretty much our job, right? And, and I can say, from my experience, I'm sure the same for you is communication takes practice and experience. You know, it's like a craft, it's something that we have to reflect on and learn about, the thing is, nobody ever really teaches us. You know, like, you'd be treated like a subject in school to think about how you're communicating with people. And so, you know, for me, at least in my career, and personal life as well, I felt like it's been very important to reflect on the way I communicate with people to be as effective as possible, because it is the glue, as you said earlier, to building a relationship and to being effective in, in what you're doing in the workplace and in personal lives as well. So why don't we start broad here, right? Like, what are some traps that you think people can fall into when it comes to communication in relationships, whether that's in your career, personal life, family, all that stuff? You know, what are some traps that really kind of get people stuck in their communication patterns?
Alexis Reid 03:35
Oh, my gosh, there's so many. And I imagine we're only going to kind of brush the surface of this topic. But you know, I think one of the biggest traps that people fall in and I hear about this all the time, both from a learner perspective, a teacher perspective, a parenting perspective, that oftentimes we do a lot of mind reading, we try to think what other people want, what they feel what they're going to say, before anybody actually communicates anything. And, you know, don't get me wrong. Sometimes people don't need to say words to communicate, there's also nonverbal communication, that's really powerful, too. And, you know, oftentimes, our expectations sometimes can be true, and sometimes not. But I think one of the biggest traps that people fall in across all spectrums of life, all aspects of life, is that we, we make assumptions of what people want to say what they're going to say and what they need.
Gerald Reid 04:29
Yeah, that's true. You know, it's kind of like, our brains are wired to predict. We talked about this with the anxiety episode, that our anxiety is almost like a predictive system to predict what will happen, you know, based on what we're imagining based on the past, based on our expectations, so yeah, for sure, you know, expectations and assumptions are traps that we can fall into because we can't mind read, you know, maybe someone has some amazing power to mind. That's not like built into our brains. So But we can predict and you know, it's not like we're not, that's not to say that we're not. Okay, at mind reading sometimes we may be okay, at mind reading, that's part of being in a deep relationship is you can almost finish the other person's words, you know, you can kind of sense what they may need, you know, kind of like a parent with a young child, you kind of, you notice, oh, they're getting cranky. So maybe they're hungry, or maybe they're getting sleepy, you know, that's actually part of getting, but getting to that point takes a lot of time to be attuned to the other person to pay attention to the other person to listen. And that that's something that actually takes a lot of time to get to, it's not like, we can do that with everybody, because we're not that attuned with everybody.
Alexis Reid 05:39
I was just going to say that, like, maybe we can get to that point. And oftentimes we can when we have really strong relationships when you're around people enough. But to just make assumptions right away off the bat is really tricky, and can lead to a lot of complications. But you know, it's so funny, there was a Netflix Christmas movie I was watching. And the little girl was like, I need to figure out what superpower I have. She thought she was a superhero. And one of them was mind reading. She's like, “Oh, that doesn't work.” No, that's not my thing. But a lot of times, we assume that that's what happens. And I hear a lot from the students I work with, especially young adult learners that I work with reflecting back on their experience in school, where they say, you know, a lot of times, my parents or my teachers just assumed what I needed, or they assumed I was okay, when I might have needed more. And I think what you said before is so important that we don't really get an education to learn how to communicate well. And of course, from an executive function perspective, there's this piece of, you know, being able to hold on to information and then use it in some way. We're using your inactivating your working memory that sometimes is really tricky for people to, to activate in situations that are social or when you're expressing what you need, because sometimes there might be some anxiety attached to it, when, which slows things down leads, the disorganization, in our thinking, makes it difficult to plan what you're going to think. And sometimes it doesn't come as automatically. So oftentimes, people just don't really say exactly what they mean. Or they sometimes don't say anything at all. Yeah,
Gerald Reid 07:16
Yea, no doubt. I mean, how many thoughts do you have in a given day? And then how many words do you say in a given day?
Alexis Reid 07:25
You don't want to be a part of my brain
Gerald Reid 07:29
Many of us are like that we have so many thoughts going through our head that we don't say, and so many things that are going on? And, you know, that's why, you know, like we were saying before, like part of communication is reflecting on yourself about what do you really feel? What do you really think, what do you really believe, so much of life becomes automation, that we just kind of go into the motions, and we may say, or do things that are not truly aligned with what we really think or believe. That's actually why Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, ACT, is so great, because it realigns you with you really believe about your values in your life, so that you can say, Wait, I'm just kind of like not doing or saying the things that are in line with what I truly believe and care about is meaningful to me in my life. But, you know, it takes reflection. That's why therapy is so great, you know, it kind of slow things down for people. And, you know, like, what do you really believe about this? It's like, remember the movie Home Alone, kind of like getting towards the holiday times. And the beginning of that movie. When Kevin McAllister, like the key point in the movie, like the turning point, he's like, I wish my family would disappear.
Alexis Reid 08:37
Yeah, this comes up so much, especially in you know, preteen and teenage years during adolescence. A lot of kids just want to push their parents away, or at least that's what they communicate with their words, because they have such big emotions, they don't really know how to express them or share what they need, because maybe they don't even know what they need in that situation. So similar to Kevin McAllister, they're usually like, Get away from me, leave me alone. And in reality, they really just want people to be there for them. Right? They don't often know how to ask for that, or to share what they need. But you're right. I do really think Kevin McCallister didn’t wanted his whole family to disappear for the holidays.
Gerald Reid 09:15
No, yeah. No, I don't think so. And that's the moral of the story, right? In the end, he's like, oh, you know, I appreciate you guys. But yeah, that's right. It's like, you know, communicating what you really feel and what you really need and what you really want. It's hard, especially when, you know, it goes both ways to right, the other person that you're communicating to, you know, it plays a role to be able to listen and then make the context to listen carefully. Our whole job as a therapist, like we have classes basically on how to listen to people like you know that because like you said, we don't get training in life or in school and how to do that. It's one of the most important things. I mean, there's actually a lot of jobs out there where that's important. And I was talking to someone who's going kind of into the business world and he was saying one of his professors says one of the key elements to being a successful man Enter is to tolerate uncertainty and to communicate well through uncertainty. And like that's a soft skill. That's something that is like this. It's, you know, effective communication. So it all takes time and practice. And, you know, we all have to work on it. Because, you know, there's no like incentive to work on it other than you got to pay attention to how your relationships are going. If they're going well, great. And not if things are bumpy, or if you're frustrated, maybe look inside yourself and say, Oh, how can I, you know, improve maybe things I can control with my communication and make things a little bit better. And maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but it's kind of your best shot sometimes.
Alexis Reid 10:37
You know, that's what I really like about ACT, too is that it helps to slow you down and pay attention to the things you end up doing. And actually being able to, you know, put some language around why this is important to me why this has become a habit for me. And you know, in my work, even though it's not clinical, I use act as a Model A lot of times to help people slow things down and think, Okay, if you end up, you know, eight, when you realize you have a test that you need to study for, but you're going to watch YouTube for hours, or you're on your phone, or you're constantly going out and socializing with your friends. What is that telling you? What actually is happening in that moment? And a lot of people say, “Oh, I'm just lazy and procrastinating, I'll be fine. I'll do it later”. And I think that's a narrative that oftentimes we start to communicate with ourselves. So there's this other layer too, of like, how are we communicating with ourselves to justify some of the behaviors, habits and actions that we do that sometimes get in our way that help them actually move us away from our goals? And we don't usually catch ourselves, right. We're just going through the motions. And in the busy day, in day to day that we have, we don't usually stop to say, Okay, what beliefs do I have, what belief has been reinforced either through people around me or myself, that is leading to me doing these things, that's actually getting in the way of what I want for myself.
Gerald Reid 12:02
That is such a great point, your job is so much about the right like, if people don't understand what's getting in the way of what they're doing with their learning, they can have a false belief about why it's happening and reinforce it through the language through what they're saying through what people are saying to them. And so like, as a clear example, like, you know, someone who's procrastinating or they're just saying, you know, I just don't and I hear this to the people I work with is like, you know, I just it's, I don't really want to do it, it's just so much, it's just so much. And what they're really saying is, you know, as we dig into it is you're looking at it as if you have to complete the whole thing. Now, obviously, you're not going to want to do anything that's going to take that long. But your perspective is I have to do it all at once. Right and pulling back to say, Well, what I really want to say is, it's not that I just don't want to do it, it's that I'm looking at it the wrong way. I'm looking at it as a marathon, rather than as kind of taking a few sprints and then resting and then taking another few springs and resting, that's from the power of full engagement, great book about, you know, don't treat things as a marathon that's going to just take forever, it's going to overwhelm you.
Alexis Reid 13:11
I don't know, many people who want to run at the marathon, however, maybe in the Boston area, there are.
Gerald Reid 13:16
Right, yeah, totally. But that's the point, though, is kind of like, you know, when you're saying things like, Oh, I hate that person, or I just don't want to do this, like, that's a very superficial expression of what you're what you what you really mean. And that's why again, therapy in your work is so important is to pull back and say, Well, what exactly is it telling me more specifically, what you really are thinking and feeling what led you to think and feel and believe that important putting the parts together to understand it, and also that helps you feel more understood? You know, people don't really feel understood when they're just kind of saying, like, Oh, I hate this, or I don't like that. Like, you don't really feel understood by other people, if that's what you're saying. And that's extra counterproductive to what you want, which is to feel understood by people.
Alexis Reid 13:57
Yeah. And you know, what I think this idea of the narratives and the communication, we tell ourselves, sometimes we have these conversations in our own heads that we're not letting other people know, I actually do a lot because I have a lot of things going on that I need to take care of and do. So Jerry, I do this with you a lot of times in our in our work together where I think I tell you a thing. I'm planning and I don't share it, because it's in my head. And I've been thinking about it for so many times. I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember I told you that.
Gerald Reid 14:27
But we already said in passing real quick.
Alexis Reid 14:30
Or I say it really quickly and you didn't hear me yet. But you know, I think that this is a really important point. Because when we're communicating and we're thinking things through it, there's a really important point in the rehearsal, the planning the organizing of your thoughts before you show them. But sometimes we overwork that in our minds that we don't get to the point where we share it effectively. And I see this a ton with a lot of learners I work with who sometimes have really great verbal skills where they can share it verbally but they can't share it in writing. Or sometimes they can think through it. And they can say to me, Oh, I have it so clearly in my mind, but when I tried to say it, it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to. So oftentimes, like a lot of those different experiences can actually lead to these traps and not being able to communicate very effectively or well.
Gerald Reid 15:18
Yeah, and so that's why it's also important, I think, at least to let the communication be a process in of itself, that it's like you're going to make, you're not going to be clear all the time. And that's like, you don't want to be a perfectionist about communicating or you just ruminating like, Oh, I gotta say, the perfect thing to this person. I'm so glad you said that. Yeah. So it's like, you know, it's kind of like, you know, the metaphor is like writing a song, right? When you're writing a song, like, there's gonna be like, versions of it that work that don't work, but you have to play with it and like, play around with it and explore and brainstorm. It's like brainstorming a lot of ways communication is like, Okay, let me say something and get feedback and clarify and say, Wait, I don't think that's exactly what you meant by that, or what I meant. Let me clarify that or try saying that differently. That's why my therapy sessions, and I teach my graduate students to do this in their sessions. We're training the therapist is like, check in to say, Wait, what are you thinking? When I said that? If I'm going to make a point, I'm like, hey, you know, here's something to think about. I don't want to just assume that what I think about that is what they think,
Alexis Reid 16:22
Or what was your initial response to that reaction?
Gerald Reid 16:24
Yeah. 100%? That's a great question to ask. “what's your reaction?”, because it's more open ended that they can kind of just say, well, I felt this or I thought that, you know, even yesterday, I'm talking to someone I said, How does that feel? You know, we're trying to make sense of this situation that you're going through, he goes, it feels like, you know, mostly right, but there's something else that I feel is missing. Yeah, I'm like, well, thank you for sharing. That if I want, if I'm, if I'm unhealthy perfectionist, that would just be, you know, devastated that I didn't get it. 100%, right. But that's not how I am in therapy. I'm like, this is a process, we'll get back to this next session, and really try to figure it out more more in depth to understand it better. It's a collaboration,
Alexis Reid 17:04
I get to share a little secret, I think, one of the key ingredients to building trust in a relationship. And actually, I think it is communication, and being open to feedback. And being a good listener. You know, I think the reason why we have such strong bonds with the people we work with, is because we first of all, we genuinely show up and care. But also, because we listen, we ask questions, because we're genuinely curious about their thoughts, their thinking, their reactions to some of the things that we might say in response to them in their situations. You know, I think this is one of the pieces that I see, with most of the clients I work with, regardless of their age, right from young kids to adults, that oftentimes, they don't realize how much trust is built in communication, in Clear, Effective Communication.
And this does not mean that everything you say is perfectly correct, or clearly stated, or grammatically appropriate, whatever, you know, as we make mistakes too in our own language and speaking. But, you know, it's, it's more about checking yourself and being open and honest and communication. And I say this a lot. And I'll give you an example of, you know, a young student I work with who, you know, oftentimes, they might, you know, hide assignments that they haven't done or, you know, give half truths on how something might have went, or when they get really embarrassed or ashamed, they won't share anything at all. They'll just come in with like a big attitude. And oftentimes, that's communication in and of itself, but what I remind them is like, hey, we can actually make any progress here unless we talk about it, and you share what your experience is, and what the reaction and response was to it.
So a lot of times when I work with educators and caregivers, and parents, and adults thinking about how to work with younger people in their lives to build executive function skills, I actually start with behaviorism. And a little bit around communication, right? Because the way we communicate will essentially help and shift and change behaviors. But if we're just going to make assumptions, if we're going to speak for the other person all the time, and if we're not going to really kind of, you know, be good listeners to hear what their experiences, understand their perspective, there's going to be a lot of misses across the board, right? Where we're actually severing some of that trust that we expect. You know, the same thing comes up with young people especially like, oh, they just don't respect me. Or they expect me to respect them. And, you know, they don't respect me. And it's like, well, respect is a two way street Communication is a two way street. And when we communicate how we feel, that actually gives us an opportunity to build respect in trust and relationships
Gerald Reid 20:01
definitely up. And so in some ways to is like, you know, we got to go through the process of checking ourselves in terms of what we are communicating because sometimes our, our beliefs come from somewhere and what we're communicating comes from that belief, but the belief may be maybe based in a lot of fear and anxiety that…
Maybe let me pull back and just say, you know, what we're saying, I think one of the big traps that can happen in when we're communicating, you said, respect goes both ways. And we have to communicate both ways, is that there's this dichotomy of like, one person's right, one person's wrong, or, or what I'm saying is completely accurate, or what I'm saying, or what you're saying is not accurate at all. And the truth of life is that if you pay attention close enough, is that a lot of times, like multiple things can be true at the same time. And this is what dialectical behavior therapy does so well, is teaches this very explicitly that it's not either or a lot of things in life, multiple things can have validity, at the same time, but a lot of times with communication, it's almost like, well, this is 100% of the reason this is happening. And a lot of times, like the reason things are happening, there's like a pie chart, you know, it's like, well, 75%, maybe it's because of this 25% is because of that, and it's probably way more complex than that is it is and also the context probably matters as well, if we don't put things into context, we're kind of missing the point of what we're talking about. And so like, a lot of times, I think communication, this goes into kind of debates, and also goes into about, like, you know, blame and stuff like that, is like, you know, the conversation just kind of goes off the rails, because there's no nuance to it, you know, it's like, well, why does someone have a hard time with being, let's say, quote, unquote, successful in school? Like, there could be a lot of reasons for it. You know, and just to say, it's like this one thing, that there's, there's so many examples, right? Like, why does a relationship not work? Why? Why does the, you know, two groups of people have such a hard time getting along, right? There could be so many reasons to it, that, you know, it's important to dissect them and to communicate rationally and, and more accurately about the reasons for it's not just one thing or another.
Alexis Reid 22:29
Or at least accepting and acknowledging that people have different experiences, beliefs, perspectives, that are going to come into whatever form of communication that's can happen in an interaction, right?
Gerald Reid 22:41
Definitely perspective is everything, everybody comes to life with a different perspective. And, you know, one of the things we have to remember sometimes is that maybe if you grew up and had the same experiences as this other person that you're arguing with had, maybe you would have the same beliefs. And that's, that's real empathy. And empathy is really hard, because especially when we don't look ready with someone else, is like, you know, we want to, you know, could be a good ad a good intentions, right, like a parent who wants to help their kid do better, or, quote unquote, better, or to, to improve something. And, you know, that's the trap that we can get into is we want to change the other person's beliefs, or who they are, how they are, when, when the reality is like they are, who they are. And people evolve over time. But you know, to go into a conversation to say, I need to change this person, I need to change who they are and what they believe is, you know, it's a fight at that point. It's a battle, you know, and that's not collaborative. And that's also not giving the autonomy, that person is also not respecting the fact that people are the way they are, for reasons it's not like they just magically became or believed what they're doing even stuff that you don't agree with morally, that you're like, oh, that's morally wrong. Like, there's probably a reason and maybe if you grew up in the same environment where the same system were the same whatever, maybe you would did, the person chooses to grow up like that, no. And that's not to say that you have to agree with them. I'm not I'm not suggesting that you have to agree with people that you completely think is wrong, for whatever reason, but you can certainly try to understand so my main message here, as I'm kind of going around in circles here, my main message is it's really important to communicate with the goal of understanding first, if you don't understand another person, if you don't try to understand another person, then it there's a lot of there's conflict there it creates stress and conflict.
Alexis Reid 24:36
Yeah. You know, I want to bring in a lot of my background and expertise around Universal Design for Learning here because aside from being a caregiver and a parent, I would say one of the next most difficult jobs for anybody to have is to be an educator. Right? Not only are you managing your expertise in the career, but you are responsible for the development and the education of, you know, sometimes 30 Plus kids at a time, not to mention when you go into high school and college where you have hundreds of students that you are interacting with on a daily basis, or weekly basis, at least. And communication is so key here. And one of the things that I teach the educators I work with, especially around Universal Design for Learning is that variability is not the exception, right? Variability is the expectation, we can always expect, that there's going to be variability across all the students and learners that we interact with, right, just as unique as our fingerprints are, is as unique as the learners that are in front of us are going to present. But, you know, managing the expectations of the school system, the administration, you know, the content, the curriculum, the emotional needs, all at the same time is one of the most challenging jobs ever. Right. And one of the things, it's one of the things that I really emphasize to the educators that I work with, is that, we need to make sure that we are acknowledging, right, we are not going to know everything that every student is coming into the classroom with. But we need to at least acknowledge that they're all bringing with them something different, something unique, and oftentimes experiences that we as educators have never had for ourselves.
So these, these students often are coming from very diverse backgrounds, they all have different learning needs and preferences or a different neurological capabilities, not to mention the emotional component that can sometimes activate or deactivate their skills in a moment, context can shift and change. And one of the things that I often articulate to them, when I'm doing professional developments, or just having coaching conversations is, you know, sometimes we need to just press pause and take a step back and take care of ourselves. So that we can effectively listen and communicate the way we need to.
Because oftentimes, the students in front of us are communicating in a way that is often more apparent than we might have time to tend to or take care of. But when we see a shift and change in a student's behavior, that is communication in and of itself. So one of the things that I often share with educators is sometimes we need to take care of ourselves first. So that we can give ourselves some space and time to effectively communicate with those students to be able to just say, “Hey, I'm noticing that something has changed, I'm noticing that maybe you're not having the best day, or I'm noticing that, you know, the work you turned in last week, isn't at the same level as you usually are, you know, I don't want to penalize you for it. But I want to check in and give you some feedback and see if you need some support.”
And and sometimes, you know, we don't need to anticipate expect or mind read about everything. Nor do I want educators to become psychologists. But what we're trying to say here today in this episode is sometimes just noticing, being aware, and acknowledging is really effective communication. And it doesn't need to be an assumption you don't need to problem solve, you can just check in. And oftentimes, most of the students I work with who have struggled the most in school, and ultimately end up with some pretty heavy mental health challenges. They all say to me, I wish the teacher would have just checked in with me and said, hey, it seemed like something's off. What do you think you need right now? Or how can I help?
Gerald Reid 28:39
Well, there you go. I mean, communication could be the cause of a problem and the solution to a problem just communicating, right? And I think you're right about that the like if a student is struggling, or if students are struggling, or a school or like a whole society struggling, right, let's not assume that there's a simple solution to that, that we can just fix in a moment. And so complex problems can require complex solutions. And so, you know, we got, like you said, we got to kind of check our own anxiety about things. And this happens in relationships and families, right? It's like, we got to understand at first and if we don't pull back and do that, what can happen, we have problems on top of problems. And those extra problems that happen or resentment, anger, you know, other maladaptive coping mechanisms that people use to get through, you know, problems that create more problems, right. It's a spiral. And so someone's got to be kind of the mature one to step back and say, Okay, wait, what's going on? What's the problem? we have to find a process to deal with this, and there's probably a process and there's probably a lot of factors involved. So, you know, to get, you know, resentful and angry it just kind of makes things worse. Sometimes, you know, not to say that anger is always bad. Sometimes anger helps to motivate to make changes. But if it's misused, you know, because anger is a difficult thing to use appropriately. I think a lot of times it's hard to do that sometimes we can use anger in a way that makes things worse rather than gradually better. Not always, sometimes anger could help but like to the point is to, you know, to pull back, like you said, and take care of ourselves and take space. That's why just taking space, when you have an argument, someone is so useful, take a break, sleep on it, go take a walk and come back. Because when you're emotional, as you said earlier, it the activates all of our executive functioning skills that helps us to think openly, to hold on to information in a helpful productive way. Like all the brain capacities kind of shut down when we get super anxious or super angry. It's not it's not helpful mindset to be in when we're trying to solve complex problems. Yeah,
Alexis Reid 30:52
you know, it's such a good point. And one of the things for myself, I realized that sometimes when I'm overstimulated, like, there's too much going on, maybe I'm feeling pretty tired, I haven't exercised or meditated enough, like I am more reactive and sometimes I'm not able to communicate as effectively as the times where I'm caring for myself. So when I say take care of ourselves, it's like, maybe it's even just like taking a step back and taking a breath, right, getting a sip of water before you share whatever you're about to share. To be able to give yourself, I always say like, can you give yourself a little space and a little bit of time, from whatever is potentially activating you feel like you're not going to communicate in an effective way.
My meditation teacher has a great way of talking about this, he talks about mis organized or disorganized, like is there something that's mis organized, maybe you're just you're living in line with your values, but maybe something's a little bit off, or are things just so disorganized, that it makes you feel chaotic, and it makes it really difficult to be able to effectively do anything, especially communicate.
So it's really important for us to just be in check with ourselves, especially when we're having really important conversations are really important meetings, or really important experiences. And around the holiday time, regardless of what time of year it is, it gets really difficult because there's a lot of emotion that comes up, there's the nostalgia, there's that previous experience that we've had, there are these expectations, there are these points of disappointment, because we're not matching up or measuring up to our expectations at a certain point of the year, we're a lot of information gets fueled into us. And oftentimes that can lead to this like chaotic thinking, which oftentimes doesn't allow for us to effectively communicate.
So it's so important to be able to ground ourselves to be able to take what we need to take care of ourselves, to be able to show up and to be able to interact and to communicate with the people around us in an effective and productive way. And you know, sometimes frustration or disappointment will come up. But on the other end, the receiving end, right that two way street, can we show up and be good listeners?
Gerald Reid 33:11
Definitely. And so it's good to kind of have an ideal in mind to work towards not that you have to be a perfectionist, but if you have a relationship that you care about, like have something you're working towards, so you know, if you're moving towards it or not. If you're like I want to get along better with XYZ person in my life, we'll make that a goal for yourself, you know, if you don't have a goal, you're not going to really work towards it. And, you know, as you're saying, taking care of ourselves is important and working on ourselves is important too, because we could, you know, the interesting thing about relationships is we can displace things we're upset about onto another person, meaning that we can be upset about something totally unrelated to the person in front of us. And yet, we're acting so stressed and angry towards this person who has nothing to do with what you're actually upset about. That's just human nature, literally everybody does that in their own ways. And so working on ourselves and checking in with ourselves is so important. Because otherwise, he may either intentionally or unintentionally, you know, let out your frustration about something else onto a person, and they're just collateral damage.
Alexis Reid 34:20
That’s such a great point. And I'm going to actually talk about the other side of that too, right? Because oftentimes, when somebody says something that's really negative and hurtful, we hold on to it. Right? It's the same thing with when good things happen versus bad things happen in our lives, bad things with quotes, things that don't necessarily make us feel good. And we've talked about this before, and I said, you know, why don't we hold on to and only remember the things that don't go really well. But I want to come back to this because even though sometimes when the you know the anger, frustration, disappointment can be displaced on to somebody else and sometimes that can be really harmful and difficult to be able to communicate In a lot of times the receiver of that information can hold on to it and feel maybe feel pretty resentful, angry and frustrated themselves.
Gerald Reid 35:09
Or guilty, or like it's their fault. Yeah.
Alexis Reid 35:13
Yeah, yeah. But, but the other side of that is, we can also communicate positively. I feel like we need a moment to like, lighten this up a little bit. We're talking about some heavy things we're talking about, you know, the downside of not communicating effectively. And, you know, this is not meant to create fear in anybody's mind, like, oh, my gosh, I hope I'm not harming anybody else. By the way I'm communicating. We're just we're just offering some suggestions and examples.
But on the other side, you know, we don't want to talk about this idea of toxic positivity, because being positive for positive sake is not always helpful. And people notice when you're not being genuine, right? When you're just like, oh, yeah, everything's great, everything's fine. Life is wonderful. It's like, Yeah, well, that's not reality, right? But what we can do is we can be mindful of like, when we think of something that makes us feel good, or if we notice something that we like, we can share that. And I think, especially since COVID times I've heard this from so many people, you know, society isn't really interacting with, with each other, in an open and free way. Right? If you see a stranger on the street, that, you know, you happen to like their scarf, or you know, their shoes, or they have a great smile, like, you know, you might just smile back, you might give them a compliment. That's communication, and sometimes those little positive moments where you're like, oh, yeah, I really liked that about you, or “I really appreciated when you…” whatever the case may be, those forms of communication often fill our buckets, right, they make us feel really good. And they establish a more positive sense of connection in our relationships.
Gerald Reid 36:57
You know, why I think this is happening also is because like everything that we see, in media, the social media, the social media.
Alexis Reid 37:04
on the internet interwebs
Gerald Reid 37:08
it's like, it's either really negative, and just reality, like there could be just reality, like really bad things that you're exposed to. Or it could be like, overly positive or just overly like entertainment. You don't see any like normal, like, someone just making someone's day better, just in a very subtle way. Like, we're not exposed to it. It's like, we're just constantly bombarded with like, these extreme versions of life. Yeah,
Alexis Reid 37:34
no, it's true. And I think it's reinforcing as black and white thinking that we're seeing so much right all or nothing black and white.
Gerald Reid 37:41
And like, back in the day, we had TV shows that were kind of like, like the in between, like, the families coming home and having dinner and they make like a joke. And we're like, oh, it's kind of a corny joke, but it's funny. But like, we were like, kind of into shows like that, because we didn't know any better. It's like, oh, that's a great show. I don't know if they some shows that we can think of, but like, now everything is so extreme that we've like lost touch with just being exposed to and appreciating and emulating, just like the normal everyday positivity. That's not like overly positive extreme, or it's fake to something that's like, or it's just like, dramatized or something extremely negative, where people are just like constantly focusing on the negative all the time, it's like, there's no reason for us to do this in between, because we're not exposed to it. And it's definitely not being reinforced.
Alexis Reid 38:31
I am not going to blame anybody. But I have talked to people who have been on reality TV shows, or as judges on, you know, these, these contestant shows where they have to create or produce something. And oftentimes, they'll tell me that, you know, they get vilified, right, the good parts of whatever was captured or taped, wasn't necessarily broadcast. So they often will find like, the conflict or the really big interactions to put on TV, because that, you know, those are the talking points, that's what people are drawn to, and that will give them the ratings for whatever reason. So I think you're right, in that fact that, you know, we're seeing a lot more of these big blow ups in the media, which isn't often replicating, like the normal reality. You know, I can't tell you how many times a week I talked to a client, I'm like, sometimes it's okay to be okay. Sometimes it's okay to just like, do 85% Right, instead of aiming for 100 or 200% every single time and then ending up not doing anything because you're in this all or nothing mindset. So I'm like, you know, sometimes somewhere in the middle is okay.
Gerald Reid 39:42
And, if we can be content with ourselves in our life, we can be more content with people in our lives. You know, if we don't accept you know, life, when things are just okay, instead of feeling like things had to be some extreme version, or even get caught up in the drama as if like, that's the only thing that makes you stimulated excited, like, if you, if you can't accept that you're also not going to accept other people and so much of life is, you know, finding ways to accept things that are you're willing to accept, obviously, you don't want to accept everything if things are truly, you know, hurting yourself or other people.
But the other part too, is that like, you know, there's good sides of like being exposed to like the reality of how bad things could be in life, we don't want people to be like, you know, just naive of them. So there's pros and cons to everything. But we're saying like, the middle ground could be important to appreciate and to be okay with the middle ground, that's what contentment is, like, you want to be happy all the time, you don't want to be miserable all the time that you can be in the middle, and be content and part of life has been content a lot of times as well.
But another part of this about the extremes is like common ground. You know, common ground is also a word that, you know, we don't really use as much anymore, but you know, how important it is it for different people to come together with a common to find commonalities between them that bond them, because everyone's different in different groups of people are different. And people have different beliefs for different reasons. And they have, you know, how can we get to a point where we can get along with each other, even if we have differences, even if we have different motivations.
If you have differences in lifestyle, or this or that, it's like, well, what, what, what is what is common denominator that can bond you? Yeah, do you care about each other? Are you willing to learn about each other? Can you do activities that you care about together? You know, is there a commonality and it's the one of the most beautiful miracles in life is when people are so different? Yeah, they can get along together and find common ground and find something to bond where it transcends the differences.
Alexis Reid 42:39
I actually love that about meeting and interacting with people who have different experiences and beliefs than I do, because I learned so much from just talking with them, getting to know them. And I don't know if we have enough opportunity to really do that anymore. But I hope that we can, we can find more common ground.
Gerald Reid 42:56
Well, that's got to be the goal, the goal has to be to understand, if you go into with any other goal, then there's no point in doing it. Yeah, you know, it's like, have the goal of understanding and maybe you will learn something, maybe you'll evolve in some way, maybe the other person will, will change their perspective, in some ways. And, and maybe like, something positive can come from it on both sides. But like, if you're just there to like, you know, that's why he's therapists, like, the number one rule is like, you just have to understand the person, and you're not your job is not to try to like, just like, manipulate and change them. Now, it's not and there's lessons that, you know, people can learn from that from our field, is that, you know, that's why, like you said, there's such trust and, and open communication. And open communication is very important.
Alexis Reid 43:45
So one has to recap some of the things we shared that can help to build stronger relationships through communication. So and we can add on to this too, because I know there's a lot more we can talk about, we really talked a little bit about showing up and being authentic, you know, having that consistent check ins with people just to see how they are, you don't need to go in with an agenda trying to problem solve or to provide anything specifically for them. But sometimes just checking in makes a really powerful impact on a relationship.
Being clear and effective in your communication, whenever possible, can help to build trust. And I'm going to share a quick example is like, if I were to say, hey, Jerry, I'm going to be seeing this many clients for the next few hours. But I need to check in with you about when the next Instagram posts is gonna go up. Can we check in around you know, 7pm and we can sit and do that. So me communicating what I have going on, and what my plan is timing wise, can actually build trust and be an effective form of communication which, you know, builds relationships across the board more than you can even imagine.
Gerald Reid 44:57
Well, I'll say what it also helps with is real quick is that it prevents feeling trapped. So you know, talking to someone else recently, you know, it's like, if you don't say what your limits are ahead of time, then you're gonna be in a situation where it's like, well, they don't know what your limits are. So they're gonna just gonna kind of take up your time or your energy where you don't have it. And it's not that you don't care about the other person is that you just have limits, it's like, Well, I gotta go do my homework or something. It's like, you know, so if you don't proactively communicate your limits with someone, they're not going to know. And then you may be resentful, or kind of Harbor, you know, especially if you're sensitive, and you're afraid of hurting their feelings, you're going to be uncomfortable. So, you know, being proactive is helpful communication. For that reason.
Alexis Reid 45:38
It’s planning its previewing, right. And when we plan in preview, we actually help to reduce some anxiety and stress around, oh, what's gonna happen? When's this gonna happen? Are they going to ask me for something am I going to be available. So it really reduces a lot of that, you know, the whole nervous system that can get over activated when we're anticipating something we're not sure of. So that previewing, and planning in communication is so important. And it's so powerful.
And this especially is important from a teacher student relationship from a parent and child relationship. And especially in you know, romantic relationships, work relationships, and friendships, you know, leaving people hanging, not knowing what's going to happen, this whole fad of ghosting and just disappearing, then all of a sudden popping back up again, that creates a lot of anxiety and worry. And I'm not saying just ghosting and dating and relationships, but also in friendships, right, like you just disappear. But how helpful would it be for somebody to say, “Hey, I'm going to be really busy for the next few days. If you don't hear from me this week. That's why”… you know, or “I'm having a really hard time right now, I need to kind of just retreat and do what I need to do at all, I'll reach out when I'm available.” You know, that form of communication is so important. We'll dive a little bit deeper into that in a minute. But I want to keep recapping that. You know, we also talked about sharing positive forms of communication, when the spirit moves you right, not just to share it for sharing sake. But if something really lights you up, you know, give a compliment share that you appreciated, something somebody did for you.
Those random acts of kindness go a really long way. There's so much new research out there now that shows that when you do things that are good for others, and you do it from your heart, it actually helps you to feel better, and it helps the other person to lift their mood, as he talked about in the last episode, more than you would even expect. Sometimes the littlest thing goes along as way.
Gerald Reid 47:37
I agree 100%, you have to look for the good to the left not looking for it, you're not going to find that you find what you seek, you know. So it's a reminder, we all need reminders, right? We need reminders to focus on the positives, because if we don't, we're gonna forget about them. Things we're grateful for, you know, not just on Thanksgiving, or the holidays, like all the time, like, just, you know, for me, like I have a routine every morning, and I'm not gonna say exactly what the routine is. But a lot of it is reminders of how I want to live my life, and what I wish for, for other people in my life and for myself.
And so, you know, we all need reminders, otherwise, we're just gonna get caught up in this automation. And it's a downward spiral it could become because it gets reinforced and itself. So I agree with you, you got to look for the good. And it's a creative, playful thing to write. You can you can you can talk to someone and do something positive for someone in a positive, playful, creative way. Like we know kind of be a kid at heart, you know, pull back and come back to that aspect of life that we lost touch with as we get older.
Alexis Reid 48:34
Well, our office neighbor, Pete Savas, who is on season two, he is great at doing that around the office, he actually has a wall outside his office that has a lot of dad jokes on it. And there's such a levity that comes from that thinking about, you know, what, what we can add, or what's there, just, you know, it just lightens the mood a little bit, and gives you that playful, creative moment that he doesn't even have to do much, he's just checking in, he's cracking a joke. And sometimes that goes a really long way, and he can cheer somebody up who might be having a really bad day, just in that one moment.
Gerald Reid 49:10
Totally, and here's something else to think about, like, give credit where credit's due, you know, like, so often, like, you know, once you kind of get caught up in the automation of life, you forget to give credit where credit's due, like, like, there's things that maybe your parents are doing that they have no idea how important it is, or you have no idea how important it is that they've done. Like to say it to them, you know, it's like, like, wow, like, you're still working hard to make sure that things are right in this way in this part of life. Like, thank you, like, you know, that warms someone's heart because it's so untalked about because it's just expected but that happens in any relationship, you know, a mentor or teacher or a colleague, someone you're working with, like give credit where credit's due and pay attention to it.
You know, and it's not like it's not manipulate It's not like to, it's not, it's not overly done. It's not fake, it's just genuine, it's like truly tap into that. It's one of the best experiences of life is to feel appreciated and in genuine way, and to give appreciation. And, you know, life is not all about like just being extremely happy all the time. But these little moments are some of the moments that you'll remember forever, when it's genuine.
Alexis Reid 50:25
I would say that a lot of romantic relationships and friendships would be salvaged if people just express what they're grateful for. And then like the smallest moment. So I think another thing just to kind of summarize, what we've discussed so far is, is really tapping into your own beliefs and values and understanding who you are, and where some of the things you do and say are coming from. Right, we often again, we just kind of go through the motions. And sometimes we don't pay attention to where some of the information that we're sharing and the things we do come from. So when we take a little bit of time, whether it's through journaling, or through therapy, or just having a conversation with a friend or family member, you know, and sometimes that's really helpful just to kind of just to check in in to touch base with yourself and be like, yeah, why do I think about this, what do I really care about that's driving that thought, and then action are those behaviors
Gerald Reid 51:23
Totally, yeah. And this is a long process, we have our whole lives to figure this out, you know, so take your time and be patient with yourself and with other people.
51:34
And know, this takes time to figure out.
Alexis Reid 51:38
Now, I'm going to add one more quick thing in here. And we're not going to go too far down the rabbit hole. But I think it's so important. And in fact, I teach multiple lessons both in the groups that I run, and with the individuals that I work with, to talk a little bit about how communication can also create some really helpful boundaries around ourselves as we're taking care of ourselves. So before I said, from an educators perspective, we need to take care of ourselves as a caregiver, we need to take care of ourselves so that we can effectively support those we're interacting with. But this is another way I think, to be able to protect ourselves is to establish a little bit of a boundary and communication is one of the best ways of doing it, you're not going to like put up a wall around you and be like, leave me alone. And don't talk to me for this amount of time. But I'm talking about more of the example I gave before of like, hey, you know, I need a little bit of time to be able to do this for myself, or every morning. This is my routine. And that's really important and valuable to me, because it helps me to start my day in an effective way, you know, the forms of communication that are holding on to what you know, is helpful for you is, I think a really effective way to show up really nicely in any relationship that you're engaging in.
Gerald Reid 52:55
Because people are different. And people need different things. And people have different preferences and different ways that they can get through their day to day, that's just different. And thank God people are different, right, the world would be such a weird place, if everybody was the same. And there wouldn't be the beauty that we have, or the different aspects of life, it would just be all the same, you know, be like Pleasantville, or whatever that show was? Was it a movie? But you know, that's the week and that's, that's about appreciating people's differences and respecting people's differences. But it's like you said, Don't misuse it, and then kind of use that as a way to just kind of express anger towards people to say, like, leave me alone, or like, stop out. Like, sometimes you have to be flexible to like, there's all nuance to this, right? Sometimes, you know, you got to respect other people and just give people space to kind of do their own thing that works for them. And sometimes we all have to flex and be flexible with each other to accommodate. Because, you know, we're a team and we, you know, we affect other people and other people affect us. So there's nuance to it, you know, I don't I have a hard time seeing social media posts where it's like, always this one thing, you have to do this one thing in this or that in relationships, it's like, it's not always one thing. You know, you can't like your strength could be a strength, and it could be a weakness in another context.
Alexis Reid 54:14
Yeah, totally, totally context is everything. We want to maintain a little bit of flexibility, both cognitively and psychologically, right. We want to be able to shift and to make adjustments as needed, while being respectful to the other people around you.
But you know, number one is really to take care of ourselves. Because if we're not actually figuring out what wellness and self care is for ourselves, and this is a journey I'm on every single day, is to try to figure out what helps me best, right and I have my things you have your things so that when we show up in our relationships with our clients, with our friends, or families or partners, that's the most important thing. Is that it allows for us to be able to collect, organize, and be planful enough and mindful well enough in our communication, that we can build the bonds, the respect and the trust to establish good relationships. That's it.
Yeah. So I, I want to end this podcast today in sharing my appreciation for you chair, as we typically do, but I'm so grateful for you in so many ways. And you know, you had a birthday recently, and I still have the book to share with you that we all kind of shared things that we appreciate about you and things that we remember most about you. And you know, the way you genuinely show up every day, and a lot of people say this about both of us that like, Oh, you guys are so positive. But we're also very real. But the way you show up, and, and you're, you're very content with life, and with every aspect of what comes up for you. And in you take it as this beautiful opportunity, you genuinely walk the talk. And I'm so grateful for you and the work that you do, not only professionally but also personally, especially grateful for all the assistance you give with Rafa, you're the best dog uncle their is and how you support you know, you know, the relationships we have in our lives to because we're really lucky to have a lot of shared friendships and really amazing family. And the way you show up for mom and dad, and the rest of our family is just really beautiful. So grateful for you. And thank you for all you do for me, too.
Gerald Reid 56:27
Oh, thank you, Lex. And I wrote the song dreams and smiles for you. I'm gonna cry. Because, you know, we're different personalities. But we also have commonalities. And our relationship has helped me tremendously to evolve as a person because you're in my life and to work together and to find ways to work together and to have a very strong, meaningful, positive relationship. Like any relationship takes work and takes time, it takes love and care. And I couldn't be more grateful to do that with you as a sister, you brought things out of me that I wouldn't have even music, right. Like when I was younger, I'm into a lot of music because of you. Is such a big part of my life now, but I don't know. Like, It's like that movie. It's a Wonderful Life. What would your life be without a particular person in your life, you don't know, because you haven't experienced it that movie is one of my favorite movies, is to really think about what your life would be like without a person who made a difference in ways that we don't even understand. And so I do feel that way about you looks like there's, I may never know exactly how many things you brought out in me because of who you are. And we have differences, but that's okay, you know, that we have to figure that out and work together and find commonalities and, and be grateful for the people in our lives who remind us of that.
Alexis Reid 57:56
For sure. So our wish. Thank you chair and our wish for you all. In this really cool, amazing opportunity. We have to be a part of this podcast and to share with our audience. Our wish for you all is to find some commonalities with people in your world, share some love, share some kindness, and don't hold back. Be well. Thanks.
Gerald Reid
Thanks for tuning in to the Reid Connect-ED podcast. Please remember that this is a podcast intended to educate and share ideas, but it is not a substitute for professional care that may be beneficial to you at different points of your life. If you are needed support, please contact your primary care physician, local hospital, educational institution, or support staff at your place of employment to seek out referrals for what may be most helpful for you. ideas shared here have been shaped by many years of training, incredible mentors research theory, evidence based practices and our work with individuals over the years, but it's not intended to represent the opinions of those we work with or who we are affiliated with. The reconnected podcast is hosted by siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid. Original music is written and recorded by Gerald Reid (www.Jerapy.com) recording was done by Cyber Sound Studios. If you want to follow along on this journey with us the Reid Connect-ED podcast. we'll be releasing new episodes every two weeks each season so please subscribe for updates and notifications. Feel free to also follow us on Instagram @ReidConnectEdPodcast that's @ReidconnectEdPodcast and Twitter @ReidconnectEd. We are grateful for you joining us and we look forward to future episodes. In the meanwhile be curious, be open, and be well.
Communication is the glue in all relationships and In our fast paced world, there can be a lot that can get lost in translation. However, when we slow things down and pay attention to how we communicate, it can help relationships Whether it be a parent and child, teacher and student, coach and athlete, friendship, working relationship, or romantic relationship, effective and open communication is essential. In this episode Alexis and Gerald discuss communication as the bedrock of establishing, strengthening, and building relationships.
Be curious. Be Open. Be well.
The ReidConnect-Ed Podcast is hosted by Siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid, produced by and original music is written and recorded by www.Jerapy.com
*Please note that different practitioners may have different opinions- this is our perspective and is intended to educate you on what may be possible.
