S1 E10: What is the Process for Change?

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• EPISODE RESOURCES

• EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

  • There tends to be a ‘spark’ that leads individuals to consider an aspect of themselves or about their life, which can lead to self-reflection and contemplation of change. On some level, individuals may have already been considering or processing the idea of a change, even if it’s pushed away or not openly discussed.

  • Reflection can simply involve taking a ‘pause’ to take inventory to determine what is and what is not working in one’s life or parts of one’s life. It can involve considering one’s values, goals, etc. in relation to how life is currently progressing.

  • Having an open space to talk about a possible change is important. It is also important to consider and respect the person going through the process of change to determine the path forward that makes the most sense for the individual. Different people in one’s life can contribute in different ways when it comes to identifying a path forward since the path forward may not be clear. It can be a collaboration that takes time.

  • Sometimes the greatest learning opportunities and points of change come from feeling challenged and uncomfortable.

  • In his book Flow, Mihayli Csikszentmihalyi discusses the idea of expanding one’s consciousness through flow experiences in which the challenge we face and our ability are matched appropriately. It can take courage to break out of our comfort zone and step into the uncertainty and adjust to it. Adjustments take time and can feel uncomfortable.

  • Setting up optimal experiences in a learning and growth environment can require scaffolding in order to match the challenge to one’s abilities. Awareness about one’s engagement in a moment helps to figure out what is needed relative to the challenge versus ability.

  • Goals should be meaningful to the individual. What is meaningful may not be so clear on the surface. It can take time to explore and consider aspects of life that could be meaningful even if it’s never been experienced. Otherwise, we could be susceptible to technology telling us what we want in an automatic way rather than deciding that for ourselves.

  • A small tweak and approach may open up a lot of possibilities.

  • Life can be treated like an experiment. Trying something that has not yet been tried but that could be healthy (e.g., exercise) or meaningful (e.g., building relationships) could allow the individual to realize if/how this possible change is worth pursuing through the experience of trying it. 

  • All that goes into the making of ‘big moments’ that we witness in society (e.g., an incredible play in sports) may not be seen even though there’s a whole lot of work and small scale habits that allow for the big moments to happen.

  • It is not uncommon for individuals to resist ideas for change (even helpful ideas like using a calendar or task list to reduce cognitive load stress) due to fear of change, ego, or wanting to stay in one’s comfort zone. Like a legendary basketball coach once said, it can help to focus on ‘what’s right’ rather than ‘who’s right’ and also identify ways to make the change less scary and more meaningful. Again, it can help to treat it like an experiment; give the change a chance, give it time, and see if it’s worth it to you.

  • Cognitive flexibility allows individuals to consider alternatives to how things are done in life.

  • Change can be considered in a less rigid way. Instead of change feeling like an all-or-nothing decision, change can happen to a degree, in a certain way, and within a particular context. Context can influence how we feel and react in our life and so changing the context can help with making changes. 

  • Our goals, values, our habits, what we do, expression of parts of ourselves, etc. may vary and change over the course of one’s life. Reflection is a gift that allows us to recognize these changes and consider what changes we may want to make now or in the future.

• TRANSCRIPTION

 As we consider how to set goals, establish motivation, and take action it is important to shift focus to the process. In the episode Gerald and Alexis discuss the process of change.

Be curious. Be Open. Be well.

The ReidConnect-Ed Podcast is hosted by Siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid.

*Please note that different practitioners may have different opinions- this is our perspective and is intended to educate you on what may be possible.