S2 E1: Small town to Broadway - Igniting a Path to Purpose w/Jelani Remy
Listen Now!
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It can feel lonely to pursue a passion that is outside the box of your environment, but it can also inspire motivation to commit it and embrace growth.
Look to others who come before you to learn from them. What they do. How they do it. Who they learned from. Learn from the best available to you.
Keep your inner circle with you to stay grounded, to get genuine feedback, and to feel supported through and through.
It can be scary to put yourself out there creativity. It's deeply personal.
Learn about yourself and be true to yourself. There is no other you. People want you to strive to be the best version of yourself instead of trying to emulate your idols or trying to be what you think others want you to be.
We all face challenges but you never have to be alone with them. Even if someone can recommend a support system or professional.
We can find ways to rise above our traumas and then some.
Experiences and relationships can play a role in our development and journey in ways that empower us to grow, even if it's not a direct path forward.
It can feel like a great responsibility when loved ones truly want what's best for us and want us to be our best, but you have your entire lifetime to fulfill that purpose. The journey can have its ups and downs and twists and turns, but the journey is uniquely yours.
Hard work and preparation is required to show up as your best self in performances.
Sometimes we push through the hard times so the "show can go on" and sometimes when it's just too much, we can learn to advocate for a break to recover and return whole again.
Emotions from lived experiences can be channeled into performances. It can be very powerful. Although at times it can become exhausting.
Theater brings together all walks of life to tell a story and evoke feelings in the audience. Theater is more than just the actors and actresses, there are so many needed people to bring forth a production and they are all important.
The pressure that can be put on youth athletes can get in the way of improving your skills and can take away from the internal motivation and joy that comes from becoming the best version of yourself as an athlete.
As a student athlete who utilizes so much energy, it is so important to be self-aware in order to find the best time to dedicate focus and energy toward school work.
Mapping out a plan in an agenda.
As a higher level college athlete, you need to find a way to set a structure and schedule to get through your work and do it well otherwise it's easy to fall behind.
Online learning could work to some people’s advantage to be able to do work at the times that work best for them.
Setting boundaries to quiet any external noise can help to establish a better focus and concentration with school work and training.
Teammates that strive to build a culture of respect, an appreciation for everyone's role, and buy into a team's mission and values can be some of the most important reasons for success.
You are more than an athlete, which can be easy to forget.
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Alexis Reid 00:00
Welcome back. We're here today with Jelani Remy. It's good to be
Jelani Remy 00:14
here. It's good to be here. It's good to be Reid. It's good to be Reid. It's good to be here with the Reid.
Jelani Remy 00:25
Hey, y'all, Hey y'all, we
Alexis Reid 00:29
are turning it up today. So excited to have you here with us.
Jelani Remy 00:33
I am so happy to be here. It's
Alexis Reid 00:35
fabulous. So fun fact, Jelani has been a part of our family and world for many, many years, and we're so excited to bring him into this Reid connected podcast, family today.
Jelani Remy 00:47
I love it. I love it. Yeah.
Alexis Reid 00:49
So geraldie, before we get started, would you mind taking us down a little bit of a road trip of you know what your life has been like to get to this point in time, and then we'll talk a little bit more after that about what you're doing these days, but tell us a little bit about your your journey.
Jelani Remy 01:07
I mean, you both know this, because we sort of grew up together, but, um, we hail from New Jersey. I come from a family of three brothers and a sister from Caribbean parents, and they sort of moved to New Jersey when I was young, and we all sort of bonded with each other, being, you know, the token blacks of the town, but also met beautiful people along the way. For those of you who do not know, I am in the theater business, and I started performing pretty much since I could remember, but I didn't know what it was, essentially, right? Like I love playing pretend, or my brothers and I love to reenact the three ninjas or Mortal Kombat or, you know, just sort of like, do what kids do, which is, but I really, really, really enjoyed it, you know, and sort of set me free in a way, and I didn't really know where to put it, because, as you both know, sports were very prominent in our town and in our family, and so I was kind of like the odd duck out, but, um, I figured out a way to make it work for me, and did the sports and and gave it your best effort, though. Jay, listen, I was, I was, I was JV proper. I gave it a good whirl, and I liked it because it taught me good structure, and I made friends for life. Our town is so rich with people that have good souls and are good people and good support. And I had that growing up, and I was lucky to have that, because I know so many people that do what I do that didn't have that, you know, and I'm lucky to have friends from that hometown, like you both, that still check in or that are still there or still support, but I love you for gassing me up, but I was not that good at the sports. Well, all this to say, all this gassed me up, my talents were elsewhere. It just happened to be the arts.
Alexis Reid 02:56
Well, I would say you, you leave it all out on the field and the stage. Every time you do something, like you really show up for what you do when you do it, whether it's something you love or not,
Jelani Remy 03:08
that's just it. Yeah, I didn't love it, but I figured side note, I did play football, and I figured out a way to get out of conditioning was to do impersonations of the coaches and make them laugh and seriously and make them laugh. So like, when I knew it was time, I was like, Gino, throw the ball to be like one of the coaches, and they're like, Remy, come over here. Do do him. Do him. And I had my own comedy set during conditioning, and it worked for me. It was great. But that, in its own right, looking back, was improv training. You know what I mean? That in its own right was, was, was being in the moment and acting, and it took a choir teacher to sort of push me and guide me, because I was in choir, yes, but when it came to theater, she really got my feet wet in that and gave me my first push into a musical. And that's when, like, I felt purpose, and that's when I felt like it clicked.
Alexis Reid 04:01
Yeah, I was just gonna, I was gonna take it back a second, because our town, as small as it was, and it felt like everybody kind of came from the same family. But I will have to say, even from my own experience, I feel like we were all kind of trying to find our footing, because everybody was kind of on top of each other. And I feel like it it took a lot to kind of figure it out, because it was such a prominent sports High School in town. And you know, that wasn't just that wasn't for everybody, so it is kind of difficult to navigate through that, but I love what you said about it. Was a community, despite there being some differences among us all,
Jelani Remy 04:37
I found myself as a floater, right? I sort of sat at any different table during lunch, you know, I wanted to get this person or those people, or that those people, and I kind of really, I benefited from that, because I got, you know, variety of relationships and to meet a variety of different people from all walks of life, but also backgrounds and and the school. So. Social statuses, you know, which is kind of crazy, but um, it I think it helped shape me and gave me, you know, taught me cool lessons about compassion and working together with different people, or just social skills that, unfortunately, the iPads have taken away. Bloop.
Gerald Reid 05:16
Bloop, hey, Jelani, you know, I think we have some commonalities there in terms of Alexis, and I think we kind of had variety in kind of who we interacted with, and we didn't really kind of just stick to one person or one group that we I think we're pretty open minded about who we connected with and appreciated, and our paths have also led us in a very different direction than what maybe would be traditional from our hometown. So, you know, we're up in Boston, you're doing your thing in theater. And I think there's some commonalities there between us in that way, and where it took us in the long run.
Jelani Remy 05:49
I totally agree. That's also what connected us. You know, I think game recognizes game. You know what I mean? We see each other and see the beauty in in getting out there and following your dream or or taking a second to get to know somebody else, or taking a second to put yourself in somebody else's shoes. I think that's super important, and super that was definitely a priority in our family, was thinking about others, or knowing how to speak and communicate, especially coming from a town that is predominantly white, how to properly express yourself and properly present yourself, because you know, first impressions are everything, right, but also just how to stay afloat and how to not get lost or how to survive.
Gerald Reid 06:33
What did that feel like? Gilani, what did
Jelani Remy 06:36
that feel like? I felt like for me, since I was the last of the Mohicans. I'm the youngest of the bunch. It felt like I had to play catch up and really, really, sort of like find my way fast. And I found it through comedy. I found it through wit. I found it through music, you know. So those things sort of helped me fit in with the groundwork laid down by my Sporty Spice brothers that are great gentlemen in their own right, but they our family was eclectic to say the least, because so many people had such different things going on, like one brother had a whole zoo in his room of animals, while the other one was super quiet, while the other one played the trumpet and then Football it was just went on to play for Rutgers. So and my parents sort of saluted us all to be different, but respect each other.
Alexis Reid 07:31
I was just gonna say, I think our paths are similar, because it's really a tribute to our moms who raised us in that way, to be open, to be patient, to be respectful, to be mindful of how we show up for ourselves and for others. And I really appreciate that. I mean, no surprise, they were friends, and they are friends still, too. So exactly, but got to give them, got to give them the shout out for sure, because I think there's a reason this all happens, and thinking about the grand scheme of this podcast and and how these resources hopefully will play a role in other people's lives or in the lives of people who are caregivers or teachers or mentors or coaches or therapists for others, is, you know, just be, be mindful of little things. I think they go a really long way. Yeah.
Jelani Remy 08:16
I mean, I will say there, there are times because I went was more of an artist. I did feel alone, you know, I did feel like there was no place for me sometime, or I had to sort of suppress my passion, because I didn't know what it was, and it's not necessarily what was the norm. So in those moments, I was definitely by myself, you know, playing school with my stuffed animals, playing the teacher by myself in secret, because I didn't want the other boys to see that I was acting or playing pretend, because it wasn't cool or wasn't accepted. But I think that's what also made me more passionate about it, because it was something that I had to sort of do in secret. I sort of wanted to get good at it, or I really felt more connected to it because I liked how it made me feel, and I think it took them a while to understand it, why or where it could lead me. But look at me now, you know, oh, yeah, because I committed to it and had people along the way to guide me or to support me, because my parents didn't necessarily know, but someone else did, a teacher or a mentor, and they sort of let them know that I'd be okay, or he does have talent or or let him try it, you know, and so, and they listened, and it was actually one of my football coaches, Ed said, lock when I had to quit because I conflicted with the musical, he said, Son, I'm gonna let you go, but you better Get good at this theater thing. You better be the best. And I don't know if he knew what his words meant to me, but the fact that he let me take that leap and quit, come to find out, he said I quit because I wasn't that good. But still, those words meant a lot to me. You know, do. Teachers words that you care about or that you respect, they do matter.
Alexis Reid 10:03
He was definitely somebody who took an interest in each person that he interacted with, and I That's a great story he and it was a great impression too, by the way. Thank you so much. You're very welcome, and that's all for today.
Jelani Remy 10:16
Those who do not know think about like a mustache and like bald headed man, very intimidating. But, um, I don't know. I feel like he also saw, saw me, you know, he has, he asked me to sing the national anthem in my football cleats and outfit and son, don't do any of those oohs and ahs. You sing it straight as it is. You understand. Don't do any of that stuff.
Alexis Reid 10:37
Love it. I love it. So, you know, the other piece too, that I'm hearing in your story as you share it today is, you know, a lot of you getting good at performing, was you trying to figure out where you fit in as the youngest sibling, where you fit in in the school, where you might feel different, where you are kind of following a path that didn't necessarily feel like yours, and trying to figure that out as you go. It's a really beautiful, courageous thing,
Jelani Remy 11:03
scary, because, you know, when you're close to someone like, like my older brother, who's very good at sports, and they didn't understand it. They didn't understand why you liked what you liked, or it was so different that caused a bit of attention, or caused a bit of a disconnect, and it made me feel like I was doing something wrong, but I just stuck to how it made me feel when I got to sing a song, or how when I got to hit a note or or mimic, you know, the boys to men, or Whitney Houston, or sing those songs like them, you know, Michael Jackson, yeah. Or create a dance, yeah. Or get to put choreography on people and to see it done and like they're following my moves. And we get to tell a story through performance. There's nothing else like it. I remember the first role I got was Greece in was duty in Greece, sorry, and he sings those magic changes as my first solo in high school, and I got to sing it for people at our school assembly, and everybody clapped. And I'll never forget the rush of joy and like pride that I got because it was just me singing, you know, just me. And I practiced so hard, and I was so nervous, I was so scared, I was shaking, and to see like the castmates behind me just smiling and singing their oohs and ahs, and I got to Zoo do wapple, and just the feeling I got I would never forget. And I knew right then and there that I wanted to continue to storytell. I want to continue to do musicals and sing and make people feel something with the story that I'm telling
Alexis Reid 12:41
which led you back to high school and then to the Pride Lands to do up. And I'll let you tell that part of the story, because I was talking about the
Jelani Remy 12:50
resume, the resume, the resume,
Alexis Reid 12:52
my goodness, before you get to
Gerald Reid 12:55
the resume, this is important, that point. And as a therapist, I'm always trying to find the really significant, meaningful parts when you were nervous and you did what you felt like was hard to do, and you had to be brave to do it, and so forth. Tell me what that was like afterwards. I mean, you kind of said like it kind of propelled you forward. But just, just walk us through that experience afterwards, and looking back, not just after the clapping, but you did something that you cared about and that was meaningful to you. Tell us about what that was, that was like for
Jelani Remy 13:23
you after, yeah, it was my first time, you know, playing a full role. I didn't understand what it was, but, but through the process of putting together a show and working so hard with other people and working on that solo that you had that little moment to shine, it just felt like, it felt like I was on top of the world for a second, you know, and then to hear have your peers cheer for you, people that don't know much about, you know, what went into it, they just get to see the product that's that's really, really a memory that shaped me, you know, I wanted to continue to strive for the applause, as Lady Gaga has a song about, but, um, there's something about being in that theater community that really set me free as a human being, with support and with with seeing people that were better than me, that I wanted to be like, or I saw how they worked with other people, or that dance better. Or, you know, they were older than I was, and I wanted to get good like them, or then I they showed me videos of like Ben Vereen, and that really, really shaped me. But to answer your question, Gerald, there's just that feeling of nervousness because you care and you want to be your best, and nervousness because you're doing something brand new, and nervousness because you're putting yourself out there on a microphone you know to be heard, to share your gift that you've been sort of fostering, and artists are super sensitive about their gifts, but the outcome was tremendous. And I think even if I was off key people would still have. Be supportive, because that's the environment, but there was nothing like it.
Gerald Reid 15:06
You shared yourself, yeah, which sounds very meaningful at that time of your life. Yeah.
Jelani Remy 15:11
It shaped my trajectory. It gave me a spark of of, like I said, that purpose. It gave me that motivation to want to continue to do that. It made me feel like a piece of me was born or like something was just set free, unbelievable.
Gerald Reid 15:29
And you worked hard for it. But then again, like we said, you shared all of it. You shared your full self in front of everyone I knew
Jelani Remy 15:37
I wanted to work harder at it, and that's when I was thrown into summer camp with musical theater kids, and I got that real training from Paper Mill Playhouse and and then I went on to college to pursue theater, and really got the education that I I wish I had earlier, but it didn't matter. I wouldn't let that hold me back. I wouldn't let that define my passion or where I stood in in this, in line for this.
Alexis Reid 16:02
I wanted, I wanted to touch upon that too before we go into the resume. I just had to pick up on the whole trajectory going from place to place. But before we go there, what kind of sacrifices did it take? Because, again, like I said before, when you choose to do something, you don't just kind of, you know, go through it at a surface level, you really put your whole heart and soul into the things you choose to be a part of and do. And what was that training like for you?
Jelani Remy 16:30
I mean, for me, the train the sacrifice is more for my parents and my family, because they were the ones taking me to all these things, or they were the ones making the time or paying the money for me to go to these things or events. Yeah, the sacrifices came later on in life when I started touring for myself, you know, because we can talk about it later or now, but when you tour and you're with a show, your whole life revolves around, you know, that curtain or if you're on tour with the show, you're missing birthdays, you're missing graduations, you're missing a lot of family life events. But when I was younger, again, my parents sacrificed a lot for me to be able to go away, go to the camps, or go to the trainings and then take the lessons, even piano lessons. When I was six, I hated it, but that gave me that musical ear, that sort of helped me, you know, be able to sight, sight, read or choose to sing. They put me in choir in church as well. But the sacrifices in high school, it wasn't that great. I don't think, I think I just loved it so much. It was all sort of brand new. So props to mom and dad for sure. But like I said, later on in life, those sacrifices of you know, you can't go out, you have to rehearse. You have your days 10 to six, and then the weekends, you don't have weekends. You have shows. You know, most people are going to dinner at seven o'clock. You're getting ready for your show at seven o'clock.
Alexis Reid 17:49
Yeah, for sure. I love how you said, even for your first performance, people saw the performance, the outcome. They didn't really see what was going on behind the scenes. And that's, oh yeah, such a theme of what we talk about here, because especially with young kids today, they see like, you know, the they see the Instagram moment, they see the, you know, the YouTube Tiktok moments, and they don't see all the sweat and tears that goes into getting there.
Jelani Remy 18:13
Everybody wants to be Beyonce, but they don't want to put in the work. They don't see the work. It takes so much. It doesn't just happen overnight. It really does not. I couldn't tell you how many times I was working on that song. I work on any song or any sort of audition, just to so when you audition, you have about what five minutes to present your best self, less than or sometimes you only get 16 bars, which is what 30 Seconds to present your best self to make somebody want more. Somebody want more of you. And most times it's a no, most times it is a no. And a lesson that I learned is that no doesn't mean no. It means not right now, because, because in our business, there are so many no's and there are yeses, but those no's sort of have to mold you, and you have to know that you putting your best self there. You presented your best self in that moment. So when I go to an audition, I don't, I don't sort of over analyze the No. I want to make sure that they saw Jelani in that audition, which is harder than you think, because the nerves make you want to try and present yourself to be what what you think that they want, or what they think that they're you're after, but sometimes they're just after you, somebody that they want to hang out with, after this, after the audition, they want somebody that they can connect with. And it's hard, because you want to be perfect, and you want to to to really wow them. But sometimes they just, I've learned that they're just looking for you.
Alexis Reid 19:41
Sounds like dating? Jelani,
Jelani Remy 19:43
it is a relationship. It is a relationship, but it's harder because you don't have to sing on dates.
Alexis Reid 19:52
If you're at a key. It's okay,
Jelani Remy 19:54
okay? Or is it or is it good point?
Gerald Reid 19:58
Jelani, I appreciate. Shit you saying that? I can't tell you how many times I'm having conversations with people I work with around they could be high performing. They could it could be about relationships. It could be about anything, but being yourself. I think it's not something that just comes naturally people. It takes reflection. It takes people who support you, who know you, who can reflect who you truly are and remind you of that it takes being vulnerable, trust all these things Jelani and to share that story is, I really appreciate you sharing that. It's so meaningful.
Jelani Remy 20:32
You know who my best critic is? My mother. You know, I run a lot of songs by her. And, no, no, Lani, that's not it. No, I didn't. I'm not her favorite phrases. I'm not feeling it, and that's it. She's not feeling it. That's not I gotta go back to the drawing board. No, because she's gonna be honest, she's because she seen me from from the get go, she was there. She birthed it, you know. So a thing I do is I like to check in with people that are also in my circle, just to run stuff by them, because I'm at a point now, yes, I've had success, but I don't forget where I come from, and I don't it's important to check in, and it's important to keep your feet on the ground. And yeah, always go back to the root. She's not feeling it, then that's it. Then you know.
Alexis Reid 21:19
And when she feels she feels hard. So when you know it, you know it,
Gerald Reid 21:24
yeah, and that's when you know someone truly loves you and cares about you.
Speaker 1 21:28
No, no, no, yeah,
Alexis Reid 21:34
it's a beautiful thing. That's nothing much better than that.
Gerald Reid 21:37
She prepared you for the nose, right?
Jelani Remy 21:39
He prepared me for the for the for the hell knows, she's definitely has prepared me for that. You got to have a thick skin, and that's it, because it is sensitive and it is hard, because you you do sort of get it, get excited for the potential to step into a role, or get excited for the opportunity to get that job. And the reality is so many others are. And reality is, is that sometimes it's not even about you, it's it's about you're too tall, you're too short, or whoever this or that. It's not about your performance necessarily, or just, it's just not your time, or you need more time. So I love to ask for feedback, you know, and what I can do better, or what they thought, and it's interesting and it varies, but you can't you can't let the nose define you.
Gerald Reid 22:29
What keeps you believing? You know, as much as you're dealing with a thick skin and gaining that, what else keeps you believing and staying confident
Jelani Remy 22:36
that I can change their minds? You know what I mean? Like there are rooms that I get to go in now that are necessarily roles for a white singer that now that they're thinking of, oh, he can do it. Oh, Jelani, yeah. And that's what I love most, is changing people's minds about these about casting. They call it colorblind cast. It should just be casting, you know, because it should be the best person for the role. Yeah, I agree. And also, I love meeting new, new people to do new works. I had the luxury of being in a show for a long time, and so now that I'm out of it, I want to meet as many new people as I can to sort of expand my network, and also to learn from, like I said before, when I was in high school, learning from the greats before me. I want to learn from the greats in this business right now. So I want to work with them. I want to absorb them, and then I want to go forth and do the next thing in my career, which would be direction and choreography, which would be being on the other side of the table, and putting together my own show, and putting together my own colorful group of Pokemon to put on a show that also changed lives and change people.
Alexis Reid 23:40
Oh, yeah. Well, I want to press pause, because Jerry and I know your story. Some people who are listening might know who you are already, but you know, as awkward as it might be for a moment to go through the resume, can we take a moment to go through the resume, just so our listeners really get a sense of who you are and how accomplished you really have become over these years? Such an amazing thing to watch.
Jelani Remy 24:02
Well, good day. You're listening to the you're listening to the reconnection. Reconnected. I'm Jelani Remy. I am a Scorpio, and I studied at Montclair State University and got my break doing Disney's High School Musical. That was my first job. And from then, I went to do High School Musical two in Atlanta, which is super fun, and supposed to go on tour, but by that time, the craze was sort of done, and the show did not get picked up. I wouldn't call it a flop, but it ended early. From there, I started my journey with the Lion King, where I was cast in the Las Vegas production, as you guessed it, the butt of the rhinoceros. I was the rhinos, but for quite some time, I then sort of worked my way up as a swing and then took over as Simba in the Las Vegas production, and I got to play Simba for there for a while, also Simba on the national tour, as well as Simba on Broadway, which got me my Broadway debut at. After that, I decided to
Alexis Reid 25:01
step out. How many years were you Simba in the Pride Lands?
Jelani Remy 25:05
Almost seven or eight, 910, Oh, yeah. A long time on Broadway for three or four years. And then, yeah, it was a blessing, for sure, yeah. And it was great, a great it's a show that I always come back to, you know, I was just back in the show recently, about six months ago or so, but from The Lion King journey coming to a pause, I'll say, I jumped to a show called Smokey Joe's Cafe, which is one of my favorites growing up. And I got to be in the revival playing Jelani, because they could cast us based on what we do. And I think it was the perfect sort of segue out of the jungle into the concrete jungle of New York, playing myself after playing this iconic character for so long and growing this identity with him. It was, it was a blessing in disguise to then step into a role that that's just my name, my actual name. And they catered to they, they gave us songs to sing that we do well based in our wheelhouse of things. So I had to, like, stop walking like a cat and learn to walk like a like a human being, which was kind of crazy, but, um, it taught me. Every show that I've done has sort of given me what I needed in that moment. Yeah, if you can go with that, like Lion King. I dealt with a lot that Simba went through, you know, and that sort of helped me with my character development and doing the show for so long. Even it's because life, life was lifeing, and I got to sort of go through these experiences and and bottle them up and sprinkle them into the performance as needed for the recipe. If that makes sense. It's like when you fall in love for the first time, or you go through heartbreak, or you go through trauma, or you go through loss. Those are heavy things that I had to sort of navigate. Some of it even sometimes happened during a show, you know, and you sort of have to pick up the pieces and go on, and then sometimes you go too far, and your emotions are raw, and it's captivating and depleting and exhausting, or sometimes you sort of don't want to, and it comes out in other ways. But I found that the theater has been my my safe space to sort of go through things and to work through things, and with the mute, with the love that I have for it, and the music and the acting and the people that I love that are doing it with me. It's, it's helped me. It's helped me. I was
Alexis Reid 27:30
just gonna ask, because I'm glad you brought that up, that when you are, you know lifeing, living your life, but you still have to show up to perform. You know, I always see and appreciate musicians and artists who are in their heaviest moments, because sometimes they emote and share that part of them which just transcends the whole experience outside of even just your lines, your roles, your song, right? And as beautiful as that is, it's must be so difficult too.
Jelani Remy 28:02
Yeah, it goes back to saying, like, the audience doesn't know what goes into the process, you know. And sometimes you're performing, and it's a rarity performance. But like, my relative just passed away, you know, you don't know that. Or, like, I just had a breakup, and I got to sing these love songs, oh boy. You know is it's pretty heavy stuff that we sort of have to navigate through going on with the journey I did jump to ain't too proud when I had a breakup, and the temptations catalog is all love songs. Oh yeah. So to have to sing these songs like since I lost my baby,
Jelani Remy 28:42
it's it gets heavy, and some days, yes, we do have to soldier on, but I've learned that some days you shouldn't, and some days are okay to say, I can't, yes, and it took me a long time to figure that out, because we're work horses And because, like, the show must go on. But sometimes it's, it's, it's more important to take care for the longevity of yourself, to just take a second to pause, figure out the situation, and then sort of go back and deal with go back in
Gerald Reid 29:15
so when you're performing on Broadway, I'm comparing that to like, let's say an athlete, an athlete has, let's say, like, a full season. They can have pre season. They can have, you know, the middle of the season. Some games seem more important than others,
Jelani Remy 29:29
like championships. I know sports lingo. Don't forget I know sports lingo.
Gerald Reid 29:34
I don't need to, I don't need to bring that in. But my point here is that in with athletics, there is like the pinnacle. There's like the hardest, most stressful, most pressure filled game or performance. It seems like for you, you're kind of always doing that. Like, do you ever show up and you're like, Well, this is, you know, just another performance, but it seems like every performance is a big performance. Because, yeah,
Jelani Remy 29:59
that's not. Fair because, like I said, we're we are armored to make people feel things. We are equipped to tell a story. And someone told me that, like, one way to look at it is that there's somebody seeing what you do in this show for the first time, and there's also somebody seeing what you do for the last time. So what do you want to leave them with? There's also, there's also philosophy that you have to bring the best you have that day. You know, because we do eight shows a week, you do the math on that for the year. So it's, it's not about being the same every day. And also, for me as an artist, I never want to do the same thing every day, because I'm actively listening or actively actively being. So I'm in a different space depending on what's happened, you know, so as long as I stay valid as to the script, of course, the music, but in the parameter of what the show is, I think it's important to be on your toes and to be in the moment. I think that's what helps keep you going and keeps it fresh and keeps it authentically, you
31:03
beautiful. So
Alexis Reid 31:07
I just keep going back to this timeline, right? You were in high school, starting to be in the theater, performing in Greece, starting with starting with your first performance, which is, it's just amazing. My memory of your first performance that I've ever seen is even before that just kind of like messing around, right? Just like doing you, being you, letting it all come out. And you know, I feel like a lot of people like you said in the audition room, a lot of people just being around you fell in love with you for sharing your heart, sharing your passion, sharing your truth, through those little moments that maybe you didn't even realize. I think those are those little sparks that sometimes come up that lead you to finding your community, finding your people that are going to carry you through it all.
Jelani Remy 31:56
I was lucky enough, you know, I thank my neighborhood friends, because I really put them through it when it comes to, like, making them learn dances, or like, we're dancing to Ace of Base for our parents, or like, you know what I mean? Or like we're on the we're on the front lawn doing flips, you know where we're putting on a show. And I thank my neighborhood friends for sort of being there, and we're still friends, and they really helped me sort of blossom into that, you know. So I thank them, but then also, like, I got to do choreography with the cheerleaders, or like, the dance team, and they gave me this opportunity to sort of be the creative eye and to sort of they trusted me to sort of make them look good. And I loved that, and I loved I love that responsibility, and I love that sort of outlet that I got to have,
Alexis Reid 32:44
and the trust that people have in you too, right? And I think, I think it goes both ways, and it's a really beautiful thing, but I'm also getting to the point that you know, going from these performances where people just fell in love with your your spirit, your whole being, from when you were much younger, to being able to share that on a stage around the country, around the world, in all of these really brilliant parts that you were able to play. I mean, the iconic role of Simba in The Lion King that transcends age and space and time and culture. And it's such a beautiful story, I believe, at least, that that really inspires so many. And by the way, if you see any of those ads around any big cities or on TV, that's often Jelani in those advertisements too, for Lion King, even to this day. And then being able to step into Yeah, and then being able it, and through that, you got these amazing opportunities to meet some of the people who inspired you, the people who continue to inspire you. And I was wondering if you could share a little bit about that, because, you know, talk about being humbled and nervous and excited all at the same time right to be able to be performing at the White House for the President, or being able to be in the Thanksgiving Day Parade as part of the temptations performance, like all of these incredible opportunities that you were able to go from sharing your spirit and your passion and little you know, po Dong Tao New Jersey, to being able to be on this grand scale and stage, to be able to share not only your gifts but your love with the world, I am just inspired by that on so many levels, and how you've been able to do that in so many different ways, and I'm wondering what that experience feels like for you, and how you feel even having gone through that experience.
Jelani Remy 34:47
Yeah, in moments like that, those, those those pinch me moments, those I can't believe I'm here moments, or like I don't deserve to be here moments, I call them, like putting on your big boy pants, sort of. Put on your big boy pants and make it look good, and realize that you do deserve to be there and show them how, show them why, you know, and I'm so thankful for these opportunities that really, when you get to meet Ben Vereen, who I idolized, and he got to see me perform, and has come to every show I've done since, I now have his phone number and I get to check in on him, like, that's, that's, I have a picture of him right here. You know, it's, it's really a surreal, but real moment, and you have to sort of realize the task at hand, realize that you are able to do it, and then realize that it's a gift, and you have to, and you get to enjoy it. And I think that's, that's, that's the secret behind it, but it's, it's, it's nerve wracking as heck. Like, there, of course, there are a lot of things, because, you know, you only get one shot, you know, at this, and you got to make it, make it great. And the nerves are there more so because there's the added pressure. Like, even recently, I was in Abu Dhabi and you have to perform for the king of Saudi Arabia. Oh, okay, no pressure. But there's no one else in the audience but him and his family. Oh, wow. Oh, okay, you know so, like, so how do you process? But then it's like, oh my gosh. Look at this. Like, look where I'm at, like, look what we get to do. Look, look, look, look what the preparation has has come to its preparation, meeting, opportunity, beautiful.
Alexis Reid 36:30
I love that. I was just going to touch upon that. And I know Jerry has something else he wants to chime in with, too. But it's like checking your imposter syndrome at the door, and like checking the facts and being like, No, I've worked really hard to get here. I'm ready for this.
Jelani Remy 36:46
But those voices be talking, those voices are a thing, or that doubt is a thing. It really is, and but you suck. I said you make you have to triumph from your trauma, right? You have to shut them down and really rise above it, and then some.
Gerald Reid 37:05
Jelani, how much do you feel like you have to train yourself to not be self conscious when you're performing?
Jelani Remy 37:12
You can do all the training you want. You're going to be self conscious. You're going to be because you're putting yourself out there. And the trick of it is not get lost in the moment of it. You have to let that, let it go as it goes. If that makes sense, you have to, sort of yes, you're gonna psychoanalyze it. But there's another scene after that, there's another song, there's another note to sing. So you thinking about what happened before, is going to do you a disservice as to the story you have to tell coming up. You have to sort of just be in the moment and get and realize that tomorrow's another day. Tomorrow's another chance you get
Gerald Reid 37:50
so so I guess you can say, in therapy and sports psychology world, we would call that kind of just expecting that it's going to happen, but not attaching to it. Kind of place, letting it happen, letting it pass, and not catastrophizing it, not letting one moment where you get distracted or self conscious. That's not a catastrophe. People may not even notice that
Jelani Remy 38:10
when you're tired and not necessarily as present as you should be, you have, you have to sort of train yourself to tap back in and remember what you're doing and get back in it.
Alexis Reid 38:22
Speaking of it, do you ever go back and think about your performances and how you might want to tweak or change or shift things for the next one, especially if you're doing this the same show over and over again?
Jelani Remy 38:34
Yeah, especially there's there's. So I had a trick. I'll tell you this, because I love you both. I used to have a trick where I would study the young simbas and trade and change my performance to sort of suit who they were and what they did, and they traded off every six months. Essentially there was new kids. So it was a new sort of studying and experimentation of keeping it fresh and sort of authentic to the new kids. But you have to sort of work with other people, even with understudies. If you know how this girl is going to jump, or you know how this guy acts, or how he hear or what he sings, so how are you going to change it, to blend or to to work with them? And that's what's exciting about live theater, is that it's in that moment. Yeah, so dynamic moment, and then you gotta let that moment go. Then you gotta let it go.
39:25
You know, I
Alexis Reid 39:26
don't know if a lot of people know this about you, but when you were traveling, especially with the Lion King performance, you took it upon yourself to connect with schools and with students who loved theater in the cities that you were in, and I was graced with your presence to come and join some of the students when I was teaching back in Boston, when you came through, but not only for me and my students, but for so many students around the country, and I imagine around the world too. Jelani, I wonder if you could share a little bit about that passion that you. Have for connecting with just young people, whether or not that they want to become performers or go into the theater. But I mean, you have so much to teach, so much to give, so much to inspire what you do and and you take the time out of your day, out of your world, to do that, and it's probably one of the most special and beautiful things I've ever heard of. So I wonder if you could share a little bit
Jelani Remy 40:24
about that. So kind I think I had, I was blessed with such great educators in my life, from first grade to kindergarten on or pre K, you know, I remember them all, and I think that teachers to see somebody's sort of growth, or to see somebody's change order to help them in any sort of capacity to find their strength or power. There's nothing more gratifying than that, and especially now that I've had the fortune of working as an actor or being part of a wonderful show, if I'm able to to then use that to sort of see the faces of the next generation of young artists or people, or expose them to what I get to do is it's such a gratifying feeling that is similar to that initial like applause that I fell in love with, because then I get to spark applause on somebody else. And I think that that is, it's, it's one, it's a feeling that I will never get sick of. Even just yesterday, I got to teach kids from Italy that came to New York City, from Florence to learn theater. And even though, like, they didn't speak a lick of English, I had an interpreter. But we got it. We understood. They understood what I was saying. They felt what I was saying, you know, it's, there's nothing like it leaving like a footprint behind for like the next generation, or giving them my two cents, or just sort of nuggets, nuggets that I've learned, that I've acquired. I think that's, that's what makes you rich, is spreading your wealth and seeing what happens, and for to see them grow and to see them change, or to push them because other to also to really give them a swift kick, to really be them best selves, because, because you know that they
Alexis Reid 42:15
can. I'm not feeling it. Jelani,
Jelani Remy 42:17
no, not feeling it. Okay, right, right. A strong maybe that's, maybe that's what it is. I'm giving them what I got.
Speaker 1 42:25
Yeah, that's how this works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alexis Reid 42:30
I am teaching a child growth and development course now for undergraduate students. And I'm, I'm, I really drilled home this idea of children need other ways to express themselves, because oftentimes the English language is very restricting, and oftentimes their cultural upbringing might not allow for them to share how they're really feeling and what path they really want to take. And I love how performance and music and the arts really gives this other opportunity to express and share with the world, or even the small community, or even just in your own private space, how you're feeling. It's such an amazing thing,
Jelani Remy 43:14
I agree, and the arts especially is such a welcoming sort of group and community. And it's not just about being on stage. We need people to help with costumes, to create lighting, to help with stage management. There's so many positions that are so important as well that people of all shapes, colors, creeds, backgrounds, religions were all sort of under this umbrella of togetherness that I think only the theater community or a theatrical exposure could, could sort of bring out and bring together.
Gerald Reid 43:48
Yeah, so Lexus and I were, we were just watching a bit of a documentary on Doc Rivers, who coached the Celtics, one of my favorite teams in 2008 and he brought together a group of of basketball players who were just new to each other. And so someone had mentioned the word Ubuntu to him, which is an African term, and he looked into it because he didn't know anything about it. Someone just mentioned it to him, and Dr Reid said that became the mantra of the entire team. And the phrase essentially means, I am better when you are better. I am me because of we essentially, and I think you know your spear really embraces that, Jelani, you know you true when you truly care about the collective and the people around you.
Jelani Remy 44:28
Oh, likewise. And you got to also listen to the signs. I mean, so Jelani means mighty, right? And I have a brother named Nkosi, which means king, the song in the line, case I'm gonna be a mighty king. I mean, you got to listen to the destiny. I mean, going further, I also found a dog in Las Vegas, and I renamed this dog that jumped into my friend's car, and she had 13 dogs, so he was going to become a number. So I took him home, and I renamed him Otis. And the last living temptation. His name is Otis Williams, oh Gerald. Lonnie, Isn't that wild? It is and it
Alexis Reid 45:03
isn't. It all makes sense to me.
Jelani Remy 45:06
So listen to the universe. Listen to the sciences. There's things all around you that speak to you.
Alexis Reid 45:11
Yeah, speaking of which, I this is like a beautiful place to end. And at the same time, I I really think it's an important point to share about you had this beautiful community, and then the whole world stopped. And I think it's just knowing what I know about you through our conversations, especially through these past few years with covid. Can you share a little bit about that part of your journey and and how you you became a community, Jelani, in and of yourself for so many people, because I believe that that was, that was your purpose in those moments, was to show up and to connect as much as you could. And I wonder if you can share a little bit about your experience through all that.
Jelani Remy 45:57
Absolutely, it was terrifying. It was wild, yeah. And I actually, I'm grateful to you, because you actually were someone that I look forward to hearing from, and someone that I look forward to check checking in with. But that time when, when your safe space was taken away, our safe space, which was the theater, wasn't safe to go to anymore, it was scary and like, what do you do when seven o'clock rolls around and you're ready to go to your show and you have nowhere to go. And yeah, like I said, your purpose was important, and I didn't know what what my purpose was, so I, like everybody else, was on the couch eating and doing and sort of wallowing in news and wallowing and the hardships. And I think I owe it to my family, who then were like, come with us. We want you to be with us. And they sort of took me home, and I got to sort of breathe and not have to worry, because we were all together. And it was, it was tricky then to sort of step back in. But what got me more motivated was people reaching out to teach online and do classes and even and then start singing online for the clap emoji. It wasn't the same, but it was something. And that got me thinking like, Hey, how can I go further with this to make myself even more excited? And that got me involved with Broadway Cares hired me. Well, they asked me to sort of put together some online content and put and I got to sort of make a cabaret sort of thing, and fundraise and and cast new people. And sort of I'm getting so excited about it, because it sort of was another evolution of of me, of what I want to do, and I got to sort of evolve with with what was given. And that got me really excited about, you know, purpose. It gave me another purpose. And it took some time for us to sort of get we got to evolve and figure that out and make it, make it great. And then we sort of eased our feet back into society and theatrics again, and to do it safely, but also in a healing way. And I'm so happy that I got to get back in it. But they also hired the right people to bring us back to it. They hire a lot of professionals that really helped us heal to get back in shape, mentally and physically.
Alexis Reid 48:19
That's so wonderful to hear. I didn't know that part at the end.
Jelani Remy 48:23
Oh my gosh. It was amazing. It was a healer, and she was she we did guided meditations, and we sort of had like, all these different oils, and we got to all sit and just talk about things full out before we rehearsed and, like, checking in our feelings and breathe together, you know. And then they sent us home with like, things we can play to fall asleep to, you know, and she has a French accent. So what's more coming than that?
Alexis Reid 48:48
But I may send this to the board of education, or, like, you know, the doe. I'd be like, we need to do this for our teachers.
Jelani Remy 48:54
I give you her information. I can give you her information. It would really, let's hook that up. It was a joy to come in earlier and do like, little gentle yoga poses and just like, be even, but everybody, not just the actors, stage management, producers, we all were there exhaling together. And, like, it's interesting to see what came out, you know, and to meet everybody where they were at.
Alexis Reid 49:14
It's amazing. I feel like you work so hard, and you go through so many ups and downs, trying to find your identity, find your purpose, to live your truth, as you did and as you shared here today. And I know that there's so much more that went into all of it, but you know, to get to that point and then all of a sudden, your identity kind of gets stripped away a little bit when you when you're not in that community every night, like you guys are, that you're not, you know, on stage and performing in this, these roles that are not just jobs, like it is a calling. It is a purpose for you to do what you do. And you know, it was a really tough time. And you and I have had some personal conversations about this that for a lot of people and even us, sometimes it was really easy to be like, I just can't do anything more. I'm just going to sit here, yeah, but, but then, you know, I really, I wanted to bring this up again, because I think it also opened up so many different pathways, different parts of your heart kind of opened up to what else might be possible that allowed for you to do some directing and coordination and collaborations and teaching. But I know you
Jelani Remy 50:21
rising for the evolution. Yeah. Yeti, I it was a choice. It was a choice to sort of rise to the occasion and the evolution for for not just myself, but for the future. I'm not gonna future that's so bold, but like I felt, actually, I felt obligated for the people that I've been working with, or like my students, or like, you know, I felt, I felt inspired to continue. We had to, because we are the to make people feel like I said. It goes back to that, that original feeling of making people feel something. How could I do that where I'm at right now? Okay, I got to get the technology to do. So let me get, let me get the equipment. Let me do this. Let's, let's armor up.
Gerald Reid 51:05
Yeah, good metaphor for life, for sure.
Alexis Reid 51:10
So i Any other thoughts, and you know what? I while we have the opportunity, because, you know, there are a lot of amazing professionals who listen to this podcast, but there all are also a lot of young people, yeah, who will listen and learn through experience. And I joke all the time with my with the students I work with, and my clients. And like, this is an old person comment, but I have to say it, yeah, when you get to a certain point in your life, you're going to realize blah, blah. But I wonder if there's any any advice, or any wisdom you'd like to share.
Jelani Remy 51:44
So you had asked me if there was any sort of thing I can leave your listeners with, or something to sort of take with them. And the first thing that comes to my mind is that you are enough. I think in my field, we sort of emulate to be, to be our idols, or people that we look up to, but not realizing that sometimes people are looking just for us, and so to realize that you are enough, and there's no other you, so be the best you that you can be. And it it comes in waves. You know? It comes with growth. It comes with failure. It comes with success. It comes with happiness. It comes with sadness, it comes with all the emotions, but you sort of take them with you and let them sort of mold you. But know that you are enough.
Alexis Reid 52:34
That's beautiful. Go ahead.
Gerald Reid 52:36
I was gonna say you can't really learn about yourself without the pain, right? Sometimes, I mean sometimes that kind of forces you to face things that we go through life not realizing or thinking about or reflecting on, and sometimes we we are forced to life does that to us sometimes,
Jelani Remy 52:53
sure does. But I've learned that you're also you're never alone. There's, there's a lot of outlets that sometimes you don't even realize that you have. Realize that you have. But if you just ask maybe one person, they can help out, or they can, they can recommend or, yeah, one last
Gerald Reid 53:10
question, geraldie, and then I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave you with Alexis. What is one thing that you feel like there's probably more than one thing? What's one thing that keeps you, keeps you shining. Because, I mean, not everybody can, not everybody is able to do what you're doing, but not everybody also also able to not just fall down and stay down for so long, and any you shed a lot about this, but like, what is one thing that you think on a daily basis is, like, underneath, inside of you, and maybe it's not conscious. Maybe it's just there because it's part of you at this point. But what's something that just keeps you, keeps you going and not falling into despair? You know, when it's easy to my mother?
Jelani Remy 53:52
My mother, she calls me every day, and I hear her voice, her Caribbean accent, whenever I'm, whenever I'm when I'm supposed to. I think she wants the best for me, and I know that she does, and I think that that is a gift that she doesn't realize that she's given me is the gift of her Gab, and it is or the gift of her presence, and what she wants for for all of her kids, as she would say, All My Children. But I think it was, it's her. She's definitely one of the main things that keeps me going to evolve, to make her proud.
Gerald Reid 54:29
What's it feel like to know someone truly wants what's best for you?
Jelani Remy 54:32
It's a big responsibility, but it's, it's something that I have a lot of time to fulfill, and it doesn't. It comes. It comes with a path that's not necessarily straight. You know, it sometimes goes downhill. It sometimes grows around. It sometimes is bumpy. It sometimes is super smooth. But it's a path nonetheless. And it's, it's mine, it's uniquely mine.
Gerald Reid 55:00
Mean, unconditional love is a pretty interesting thing to have in life. I think we both have experienced that in our own lives, with, uh, with our mothers, and it's a very special thing. It's, uh, it's hard to even describe sometimes someone who truly wants what's best for you, no matter what you know, they just truly just want you to be your best things to work out for you.
Jelani Remy 55:19
Yeah, sometimes or sometimes they're just not feeling it.
Alexis Reid 55:25
How great is that to shape and encourage and support you so that when the road gets bumpy, you're ready, you're ready for it, right? Can I Can
Gerald Reid 55:35
I just say before you and I have to give a shout out to your brother, cos Remy, who was a dear friend of mine since I was young, and our relationship is very special. And you know, he, in some ways, is a segue to you, for me at least, and I have to give thanks to Him Absolutely.
Jelani Remy 55:51
He's one of my favorite people on this earth and one of my biggest cheerleaders.
Alexis Reid 55:57
That's awesome. And ironically, your other brother, Jerry and I were in high school together. We have so many bonds that connect so many and you know, kosi was like another nephew of my Uncle Joe, who passed, who you so beautifully showed up to sing at his funeral. And there's just so many tributes and so much love. And I think this is the power of just showing up with your whole heart into things that you do, into relationships that you have, into connections you just never know where they're going to lead you. And I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for my brother Jerry here today, and for this podcast to allow for us to have the platform to share this with others. And we hope you take from it the love and the passion that we share through having these conversations, and hope you bring that light and love into your world too. So thank you.
Jelani Remy 56:50
Jelani, thank you. Let's stay connected.
Gerald Reid
Thanks for tuning in to the Reid Connect-ED podcast. Please remember that this is a podcast intended to educate and share ideas, but it is not a substitute for professional care that may be beneficial to you at different points of your life. If you are needed support, please contact your primary care physician, local hospital, educational institution, or support staff at your place of employment to seek out referrals for what may be most helpful for you. ideas shared here have been shaped by many years of training, incredible mentors research theory, evidence based practices and our work with individuals over the years, but it's not intended to represent the opinions of those we work with or who we are affiliated with. The reconnected podcast is hosted by siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid. Original music is written and recorded by Gerald Reid (www.Jerapy.com) recording was done by Cyber Sound Studios. If you want to follow along on this journey with us the Reid Connect-ED podcast. we'll be releasing new episodes every two weeks each season so please subscribe for updates and notifications. Feel free to also follow us on Instagram @ReidConnectEdPodcast that's @ReidconnectEdPodcast and Twitter @ReidconnectEd. We are grateful for you joining us and we look forward to future episodes. In the meanwhile be curious, be open, and be well.
In the initial episode of season 2, Alexis and Gerald are joined by their long time friend, incredible performer and educator, Broadway’s own, Jelani Remy. This episode discusses the path from growing up in a small town where Jelani followed his heart, passions, and talent while maintaining bonds through community. Truly an inspirational presence and performer, we are grateful for all that Jelani contributes to, the light he shines and shares, but especially for our time together on this episode.
Be curious. Be Open. Be well.
The ReidConnect-Ed Podcast is hosted by Siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid.
*Please note that different practitioners may have different opinions- this is our perspective and is intended to educate you on what may be possible.
