S2 E4: Purpose and JOY with small business owner, Rosemary Ramos

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• EPISODE RESOURCES

  JOY - A Skin Atelier (joyskinatelier.com)

• EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

  • When you show up somewhere with your skills and training, it’s not just selling your skills, it’s showing up as yourself and sharing a part of yourself.

  • Great mentors along the way can help us to see the parts of ourselves that we may not value or recognize are so valuable and have potential.

  • Confidence comes with time, but believing in yourself before it happens, before it’s there, helps to lean in and be authentic. 

  • Feeling good can change the perception of yourself.

  • Others can help us to find our purpose when they show interest, care, and support.

  • The younger generation can be filled with so much inspiration to find a purpose to do good and joy. 

  • Tuning into yourself, your feelings, and your moral compass can help you to figure out how to navigate the path forward and what you might need. This can be especially important in a time when society can be pulled into looking outward via social media.

  • Finding other like minded individuals to lead and empower in a genuine way can pave a path for others, especially after others have done that for you.

  • Taking care of yourself is something individuals can forget to do or even neglect. Self-care can come in a lot of different ways. 

  • Growing into who you become takes time and comes from many influences and can play a role in what your purpose comes to be. It takes a long time to grow into yourself and to trust within yourself and have faith. But those are the things that stabilize the boat and that you can lean into.

  • “The most beautiful women that I know are the women in my family. And they are aged, and they have wrinkles. But they have the most beautiful smiles and the most beautiful ways of expressing themselves.”

  • Vulnerability is scary and hard and can feel like you are opening up a wound, but having an anchor and a foundation can keep you steady through the storms. The vulnerability may also help you to explore parts of yourself that leads to discovering a path of purpose.

  • You can do good and be successful at the same time. Being successful does not have to mean opening up a business, it can mean a lot of different things to different people.

  • “What brings you joy, in addition to what your strengths and skills are that I could improve upon that could lead you to a path of purpose?”

  • Your character always matters, not just when you have success or appreciation from society for it.

• TRANSCRIPTION

  Gerald Reid 00:00

  Instrumental introduction

  Alexis Reid 00:08

  Welcome back to the Reid Connect-Ed podcast. We're here today with rosemary Ramos, who most of her friends, clients and colleagues know her as Rosie, from Joy skin, atelier, which is in Charlestown, Massachusetts, right outside of Boston. We're really happy to have you here today, Rosie,

  Rosie Ramos 00:26

  I'm happy to be here and am honored that I am a guest on your podcast, because I really enjoy listening to you guys.

  Alexis Reid 00:32

  We're so grateful. You're such a big fan and great friend and inspiration to us too. So we're really happy to have you here and to talk a little bit about your journey and your path. Okay, so I'm gonna rewind a d go all the way back probably to places I don't even know about yet. 

  Alexis Reid 00:50

  Can you tell us a little bit about your journey in getting to this space in place where you've become not only an owner and founder of your own business, but really somebody who shares your whole self in the work that you do every single day. So for those of you who don't know, Rosie, Rosie is, in my mind, a master esthetician who does beautiful work in blending organic, natural materials, and different tools and different treatments to be able to support people who come in who want to take care of themselves. Right, and really, not only to take care of their skin and help them to get in touch and in tune with what they need to feel good and be well. But really, Rosie, I mean, your energy just like shines through everything you do, not only as a friend and as a human in this world, but also in the work that you do. And I know that's no easy task. 

  Rosie Ramos 01:52

  No. 

  Alexis Reid 01:53

  And, you know, I'm curious about what got you to the stage in place to be able to hone your craft and to be able to share your light with so many others as they're trying to take care of themselves.

  02:04

  Well, the first word that popped into my mind was journey, because it's definitely been a journey and one that I had no idea how it was going to play out at the very beginning. And I'll really start more at the beginning of why I chose this career. And when I chose this career. it was really born out of necessity, frankly, I had always been very interested in taking care of myself and getting my nails done and always wanting to get a facial and a massage. You know, I was raised by I'm one of four youngest girls, first gen Puerto Rican, raised by a single mother. And so, you know, all of those things were really big luxuries in our family. And so it wasn't necessarily something that I did often. But it was something that I always just was, you know, I thought champagne wishes caviar dreams. So I did it when I could, and they were really big luxuries to me when I did do them, you know, even just something as simple as getting my hair cut or my nails done. And right out of high school, I just got a full time job. I didn't really know what I wanted to do. And I became a very young mom at the age of 23. And that was a really big turning point for me, because it was, you know, what am I going to do? How can I be a mom and be present, but I also needed to make a living. And I just one day just put two and two together. And it was like, you know, I really love skincare. Why don't I go to aesthetic school? And so I looked into it immediately I took a tour, Catherine Hines Institute in Woburn, Massachusetts. This was, you know, 27 years ago, and I enrolled in the course it was $5,000. And it was a lot of money to me. And of course, you know, thank God for Fannie Mae. And I started school and of course, through the support of my family because Madison was in existence. He was a little boy, he was a baby. He was he was months old. My mom took care of him. I went to I went to school part time, my mom took care of him. My sister took care of him and six months of school back then, in the state of Massachusetts to be certified. You just needed 3300 hours of esthetics, schooling, and then you would go and take the tests and get your license and I just happen to where I would go get my nails done and get my hair cut. The gentleman who cut my hair, who happened to be the owner of the spa and salon in Worcester, Massachusetts, found out that I was going to school and he said, you have a job when you get out of school. You want to come work for me. And I was like, Yeah, this is great. And get out of school. I got my license, and I got my I got my first job. And it was really it was in school that I knew. The minute I started to touch my first face As I, it was just so natural to me. And the love was born then I had no idea at that point in time that this career would literally become one of the biggest joys of my life. I say always say two things I am on this earth to be two things, my son's mom and an esthetician so that I can take care of so many people. And that rings true, it rang true back then rings true today. That's really where it all started, I was really fortunate to work for someone who, at that time, I mean, the spa Business was booming. It was like when you went to the spa, it was such a luxury to go to the spa. And it was so incredibly busy. It afforded me to work part time, and it afforded me to be home and to volunteer at Madison's School. I hope it's okay that I say his name.

  Alexis Reid 05:58

  I don't think you've in mind.

  06:00

  And, and so it was wonderful, I happen to just become incredibly passionate, so much so that I would always ask for education. It wasn't something I could really afford outside of the job. But my boss had this program where all of the retail that you sold, you would make 10% of the retail, but he would match that 10%. And he would put it in an educational fund for you. And when you reached a certain amount $500 At that time, you would be able to spend it on a class or traveling somewhere to go to a trade show, just to learn more. So I would spend so much money that I would actually have a negative in my educational fund. And I basically made a deal. I said, Would you consider me being the lead esthetician and you send me out for education, I will come back, I will impart the education and I will train. And he said yes. And at that point in time I, I was in charge of 12dd therapists, it was on the massage side because we did body treatments. And it was on the aesthetic side. And I worked for him for eight years. And there was a turning point. This was a really big turning point in my career because he was expanding so much so because he had a very large hair salon at the top of the building that he owned, and downstairs with a spa. And he said I'm really thinking about becoming an Aveda concept. What do you think? And I was so you know, I look back and I think about it now. And there was such an admiration and a mutual respect between the two of us that he really valued my opinion. And I don't know if it was because you know, we were both Puerto Rican. And it was really, you know, it was really hard back then it's like you didn't there were a lot of minorities, who were doing things that we were doing, frankly, he was a big pioneer in the city because he had just a great, huge name in the industry in the beauty industry. And he also did a lot of things for the community as well. So I felt I felt so privileged and honored to be working for him. And he was a family man. And that meant a lot a lot to me. Because, you know, family is everything to me. And he also understood he that I was a single mom at the time. And he really did give me a lot of flexibility with things with my schedule. If it had to change. He would say listen, I can't I can't change everybody's schedule. And I would just say lessons are really important. And he would always just say, okay, it's okay. Which I was so grateful for.

  Alexis Reid 08:36

  I'm going to actually pause you there because you brought up so many great points. And a big part of why we wanted you to come on here and tell your story is because you are probably one of the brightest, most intelligent people I know, not only do you shine this beautiful light, but you are just a consummate learner who wants to just learn and explore and devour information not just about your trade, but also about you know, life. You're such a student of life, which we've been saying so many times on this podcast lately. But you brought up some of the the things that Jelani actually said in Episode One, too, where he was talking about how, when you show up somewhere, you have your skills, you have the things that you've been training for, you've developed mastery in a lot of different areas or whatever area that you're focusing in, and whatever you're doing, whether you're auditioning for a part on Broadway, or for some other performance, or you're auditioning or, you know, trying to go through the motions to get a job, or to even you know, earn the respect and trust of a potential client. Right. It's not that you are selling your skills, the skills are wonderful. And of course, that's a big part of why people would would call on you to work with them and to help them but more than that, like Jelani said, he's like you're selling yourself, you're showing up and you are sharing a part of yourself. And the most important thing that you can do is be Be authentic and be real. And I imagine that your boss that you're referring to saw that in you

  Rosie Ramos 10:06

  100%, I mean, he, I think he saw it. And maybe before I had even realized it myself, frankly, And you bring up, you just literally my mind just opened up when you just said that, you know, I also want to be really clear about because this is a big vulnerability piece for, for perhaps people younger people who are listening or young women who are listening who want to start a business, open a business, you know, that term, fake it till you make it, I was definitely doing that in that beginning, in the beginning, because I really didn't have the confidence. It was not something that I led with. But I knew in my mind that if I just like, just believe it before it happens, believe in yourself before it's there. And that, that took me that took me a long way until the bus stopped and dropped me off to say, Get real, wake up, lean in, be authentic. And, and so much changed for me when that happened. But I don't want to interrupt, you

  Alexis Reid 11:07

  No, that's often the transformative point in a person's journey and in person's life too is to be able to like, just own it and be like, Oh, I'm really good at this, you know, this is something I can share with others, that can be an inspiration for other people. I mean, you know, again, it's not just about skincare, it's not just about wellness, it's really about putting these pieces together and acknowledging that you can take care of yourself, that you can share your light and your energy with other with others and inspire that in others. And I feel like that is such a, an incredible responsibility. But also, you know, such an amazing privilege, right to help people to see in themselves with sometimes they don't see for themselves, for sure. And literally your your, you know, pulling back some of the layers for them, not only physically, you know, getting rid of the dead skin, but also, you know, helping them to see the beauty inside of them and cherishing and honoring that. And it's, it's a beautiful process. And, you know, you talked about it going to the spa and taking care of yourself. And, you know, I think you and I both grew up with really strong mothers who worked really hard to take care of us, and that was their main priority. And oftentimes, some of that kind of fell by the wayside. You know, they would take care of themselves and present themselves beautifully. But their priority was always us 

  Rosie Ramos 11:07

  100%. 

  Alexis Reid 11:21

  So it's, I think, for me, at least, sometimes it's difficult to separate, you know, the the joy and the purpose in the work that I do with the wellness and the self care for myself. And you honestly are somebody who inspires me to do more of that. And I'm so grateful for it.

  Rosie Ramos 12:50

  Well, everyone deserves to feel just to feel good. And you know, when you feel good, and you know, your perception of yourself changes. Just when I always preach all the time, and and it's what I truly, truly believe. And this, you know, along this journey, you know when I started off it was you know, a luxury and you're doing facials and you're selling retail and you're rebooking your client, and that's really, that was the focus, right? It was all monetary. And it was like you were popular and how booked out were you and and then I had a very big transition where, and I'll go back to the story, where my boss was asking me, you know, should I become an Aveda concept salon. And when you become at that time Aveda concept was that was all you sold, That's all you did. It was like one line. And that was a really big deal, because the the investment of that was was costly. And I said, I can't tell you an answer on something I don't know. And he said, Well, what if I send you down south for an immersion class? They're doing a one week long boot camp immersion? And I just thought, what Yes, please send me because I'm like, a little vacation, a little spa, education.

  Alexis Reid 14:06

  I wish my conferences and professional development included spa days.

  Rosie Ramos 14:10

  No, there's definitely some major perks to being in the industry that I am in. So he sent me down there. I met some incredible people. And those, as I was working, you know, one of the things that you had to do at the end of the week was It was basically bootcamp class. And it was a lot of education on ingredients that that opened up a big thing for me, it was like, oh, I should probably know where things come from, who grows them. What indigenous culture do these things come from? Is it sustainable? Are the people who grow and pick these herbs and spices are they treated well, and that was a big turning point for me because it was like, oh my goodness, there's a whole that like we're literally peeling this is a big deep dive. This is a rabbit hole. And they offered me a job Aveda offered me a job to be basically what they call the pureologists. And what you would do my what they were asking me to do is, we'd like you to travel around in the tri state area to teach spa. Yeah. And that to me was like, yes, yes. So now I come back, tell my boss, you should do what I think it's a great line. They're responsible line. They care about what they're doing the quality of their product. And it's an it's a non toxic line. But we didn't use those words back then. And he was like, okay, he did it. So I waited a month or two, I actually went through the interview process with Aveda. And I remember the day that I, I basically had to basically tell him that I was leaving. And I was so nervous. He was a big gardener. He would do all of the landscaping outside. And I remember starting my day, and I got there early, and I went outside and how were you doing? Were just you know, chit chatting. And I said, I want to talk to you. And I told him and I could just see his face just like, "whooaaaa" and he said, What do you want me to say to you? And I said, I, I, I just want you to be supportive. Like just say I have your I have your blessing. Because everything you've done for me in the last eight years, I just appreciate so much. And this is not. I want to leave here feeling like if I needed to come back, I could come back, but that you were being supportive of me. And he said yes. And that basically propelled me into I travelled a little and I learned really quickly that I didn't like traveling. I loved the teaching part. I met a lot of people I was so nervous. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing. Definitely had impostor syndrome and didn't even know what it was at the time. And then, you know, that was around the time where my son was, like, you know, leaning into like eleven, 12. And I really needed to be at home. So I took a full time job with my sister who owned a clothing company and which kept me home. And I decided that I would I would go into Aveda, what they would do is they would send me into salons and spas that were struggling their aesthetic department and I would go in and kind of revamp do a bootcamp reteach rewrite a menu. And I had decided that I was going to pick probably the best place that I had gotten in and revamped. And I found this little place on Newbury Street. And I said, I was looking for a part time job. And they were like, Do you have any experience and I give him my resume. They were like you're hired. 

  Rosie Ramos 17:39

  and I loved it. It was like a little salon. It was one rom I had a sink the size of like, you know, a bowl. But it allowed me to be home when I needed to be home for my son. and I were at the time we lived in Shrewsbury Massachusetts, that's where he was going to school, I was raising him. And I would always drive by this coffee shop. And it was like a new building like a little I wouldn't call it a strip mall. But kind of a strip mall. And there was a salon, a coffee shop, and there was an empty space in the middle of this coffee shop. And I was like oh my gosh, I can open a business. I'm going to open a business. I'm going to open a business. And I went in, I asked what the rent was, I didn't even know the lingo of like, what do you charge per square foot? I was just like, Oh, what do you charge a month. And it was beyond what I could ever afford it. I'm like, I don't even know what I'm doing. Four years later, I'm still working for my sister, I'm still working part time. And the space becomes available again. And I talked to my brother in law and I said I really want to open a business. And he has a lot of experience. He's an entrepreneur, he's a lawyer, he, you know, has many little hats that he wore, and I just knew I could trust his advice. And, and I remember I said I know I can do this. And so we went we checked out the space. And it was a hefty price at that point in time. And he were in the parking lot. And I said, What I don't even know what I'm doing. I don't even know how to write a business plan. i He's like, kid, he's like, Do you know how to make money? And I said, I do. And he goes, then you're gonna be fine. You can do it. And I remember getting a personal loan for an astronomical amount. And I didn't really put two and two together, which was probably a good thing because if I really concentrated on the amount that I borrowed, that would have kept me up for the next five years. And I pulled it together. My sister came in as a silent partner. She came in she did my books, and I created we created this beautiful space. And my whole concept was I wanted a really small intimate space where you could really cater to someone's needs beyond their skincare. It was the minute they walked through the door making them feel like they were at home and making them feel incredibly special. Making them feel like there was a place where they were I wanted needed loved, even though it was just a facial. And I also wanted a little boutique where if you wanted to pick up like a beautiful scarf, or a nice lipstick, just something to throw in your bag to make you feel like you had an experience. That was that was the place and it was called pale skin boutique and my sister and I owned it for five years. And at the end of five years, I think I I earned my MBA, a lot of sleepless nights, because you learn very quickly, are we going to make payroll, are we going to make rent? Oh, they're their taxes to pay. That was a really big learning experience. At the end of five years, Madison was going off to college, his first year of college. And I, I knew I wouldn't be able, I just didn't want to go on. I didn't want to keep doing it. I'm like, I'm like, we sold it. We sold the business, which we were very fortunate to another esthetician, who to this day still has the business. She's just moved locations into a town next to her. And I have to say I'm i and and I'm really proud of that, because that was something that I had no idea what I was doing. But I believed in myself. And I had, of course other people who believed in my concept. And that will never be lost on me. And someone else is now thriving in a business that was started by me, started by my sister. And not a lot of people get to say that. And then I ended up going to work for corporate and quickly quickly realized. I lost my joy, like I was not happy. And I remember I was the director at a med spa. And I would get ready for work. And one day I was so miserable. And I really wasn't even good at that I wasn't good at the management piece. I was good at like, one on one. Taking care of one person having a conversation with one person. Metrics is not my strength. Accounting is not my strength. But I quickly realized I realize you can hire people to do those things. So why don't I just focus on the one thing that I do really, really well. And that's the people piece. And my hands were an underestimated magic magic wand.

  Alexis Reid 17:39

  Of course, 

  Alexis Reid 22:08

  I can attest to that.

  Rosie Ramos 22:10

  Thank you. So one day just said I just need to find my joy. Yeah. And I think two weeks later, I quit that job. I had been looking at a space I met a woman who had had space and Charlestown. I had then now moved to Charlestown. And she said, Oh, I have a space. And I went to go see it. And there was a massage therapist in the space. And she said you can share this space with her. And I said, Oh no, I don't want to share a space with anybody. I wanted to, I mean, with Piel, we had, you know, six employees. And I just knew I'm like, You know what, instead of having employees and a front desk and a fancy computer and a beautiful desk, I'm just gonna be a one to I'm just gonna be a one man band open, I'm gonna make your appointment, I'm going to actually do the facial, I'm gonna ring you out, I'm going to rebook your next appointment, I'm going to do the laundry, I'm going to be the cleaning lady, I'm going to be all those things. And just keep it really small and simple. Because bigger is not doesn't mean more. Right? And, and that was like the big that was the big change for me. And the one thing when I started joy, Joy Skin Atelier was one thing I said to myself and promise, I'm not going to worry about money. I'm just going to, I'm just going to really focus and really lean into the love piece of my job, and really take care of people and give them my time, beyond whatever they booked so that I could be a good listener. And a lot of my listening and my feeling is with my hands it's not necessarily with my ears. And that changed my work in my work took a 180 and it became an incredibly intuitive and if I could use the word spiritual experience for myself, and then I started to realize that I was really connecting with people on such an incredible deep level. And, and my mind just opened up and along with my heart as well. And that was six years ago this July. Eek.

  Rosie Ramos 24:15

  Where does the time go? 

  Alexis Reid 24:17

  I think that's probably around the same time that you and I met.

  Rosie Ramos 24:20

  Yeah, we met at the vineyard I was actually doing Joy was doing a pop up at a yoga retreat in the vineyard at Edgartown medical town. And you and I met serendipitously.

  Alexis Reid 24:32

  Yeah. Yeah, I don't think anything's by accident. Well, no, not at all. Yeah, I think that's it.

  Alexis Reid 24:38

  It's an incredible story and incredible journey and a lot of our listeners and a lot of the clients that Jerry and I share, are trying to find their path because they don't necessarily feel like they fit into whatever they think they're supposed to be doing. And sometimes there's a lot of conflict inside of them as their are trying to figure out what are their skills? What are the things that they're really good at? What are their strengths? What are some of those skills that maybe can be tweaked or improved upon? And then what do you do with that? How do you make that something that's not only just kind of going through the motions or job that you show up for, but how does that become a part of your purpose, as you're navigating through life, one of the most beautiful things I know, there's a lot of negative connotation around younger generations that sometimes people will have a lot to say about, you know, the younger people in the world right now, but I see such beauty in them as they are really inspired to try to do well. And to find a path that is meaningful to them, and can support and do well, for others, it's, it's such a beautiful thing, to hear some of their inner thoughts, and their inner aspirations. And for you to share your story and, and to think about how, you know, you're going to get your hair done at a salon turned into not only a job, but a career with somebody who believed in you, who, you know, shared their knowledge, their joy, their space with you to not only again, not only to show up and work in a position, but you really became somebody who got to impart your knowledge on others, you learned not only for yourself to be successful, but to pass that along to those that you worked with, who were passing it on to others. And I think that's such a beautiful thing, this domino effect I think, gets lost in the translation of everybody's busy days, finding that source, that passion and purpose inside of yourself, and having the confidence, the courage and the support, to be on that path. And to get on that journey is such an important thing. And I think it's so powerful, not just for individuals, but for the collective on so many different levels.

  Rosie Ramos 26:57

  Sure, I mean, it's a community, right, or community of people like to piggyback a little bit on, you know, what you said about this younger generation coming up, you know, what distinguishes them, I feel is that they, they want to be happy, they want to find joy, they also want to take care of this earth, you know, they want sustainability. And that inspires someone a little older, like me, I think about the girls who work at Joy, and they are younger, and they're so inspiring, and they take things seriously, and it's meaningful to them to actually do do what I do, I don't think, you know, it wasn't as meaningful to me back then it was a job. It wasn't as it was necessary. I loved it, I didn't realize how much I really loved it. And this career has afforded me being able to meet incredible people being able to give back, which is really important to me,

  Gerald Reid 27:57

  Rosie, I'm sitting here in my chair, just leaning back and listening to two people who are so important to me that I love, respect, admire, two women that are strong, and also compassionate, to have both of those things is not only good for women, it's good for men too. And, wow, this is just amazing for me to just sit back and listen to you both. There's a lot of themes that came out of your story. And, you know, one of them Alexis alluded to is belief in yourself. And a lot of times we need other people to help ourselves to realize that we believe in ourselves despite the uncertainty. And then we give back to other people, hopefully, that they can believe in themselves too other people. But there's something that stood out to me too knowing you, Rosie is that there's points along the way, where you tuned into yourself, to guide you. And with the way life is today, so fast. So, dare I say you know, like addicted to technology, where we're not tuning into ourselves, have the ability to tune into yourself to guide what you're feeling to guide what is next. What do you need, what might happen next, based on you know, what you're feeling because your feelings are a reflection of what's happening to you, and good information to be able to reflect and I think that's an important part here.

  Rosie Ramos 29:26

  Yeah, I agree. I don't know at this point in my life. I think in most aspects of my life, I don't know how to be anything else or how to operate any other way other than to just go off of feeling and, and my moral compass and my emotional compass and my spiritual compass and thank goodness that it all it's just all really good and positive. And it's really nice to be able to, you know, impart that to people that I work on, but also impart that, you know, to people who work for Joy, work at Joy and mentor, women, and you know, we take care of men as well. Everyone is important, I think about, you know, and I'm always thinking it's like, how can we collectively at Joy... How can we give more? How can we give a different experience? How can we make people take what they're feeling on the bed outside of the room and take it so that it lasts a little bit, because, you know, I always think about when people come in, and I'll always say to the girls, you know, I think the most important thing is to turn that switch on that nervous system for people because people come in so frenetic. And you know, there's a lot of things going on in the world. And people have kids and nannies and cars, and this and people are sick, and people are dying, and people are trying to have children, and there's a lot of things that walk through our door. And when someone lies on the bed, it's a very, you know, I don't know, the magic bed where you just feel safe and warm and comforted and a lot comes out on those bends, right? A lot of people want to just kind of just let it all out and let it go to someone that they trust, we're really lucky, we have an important job. And I'm also really fortunate because I feel like I've attracted like minded women to come and work and, and lead in the same way that I lead as well. And we also give, you know, back to our community, the good thing is, is that taking care of yourself is no longer a luxury, it's it's an absolute necessity. But it still can be you know, a luxury price item for people. And so, you know, a lot of the things that we do, as well as like, you know, what is your budget, you know, what, what can we fit in your budget, or if you can't see me as much as you want to, okay, let's figure out when you can come in, so that you can feel and look good, and and then pass that along. Because you know, when you feel good, especially when you have children, or you have an ailing mother, or you're taking care of a family member or your dog is sick, taking care of yourself, you'll be able to take care of all those other things. And so it just like it spreads, it has this big energy band beyond and it just started with a facial you just walking through the door, you know, we also do massage as well. So yeah.

  Gerald Reid 32:21

  very positive ways to take care of yourself to there's a lot of ways that people who are suffering can look for comfort, and for them to go to you and want to be with you to do these things that are very healthy things to to take care of yourself is like you said a blessing. And people need it more than ever, for sure and permission to feel like they can take care of themselves. I you know, I wanted to get your feedback on that from the even the working women, you know, some patients that I work with, they feel like they have permission to take care of themselves when they have someone else going on. And you know, it's a healthy version of self care. You know, a lot of times just in mental health I see people try to take care of themselves in ways that may not be the healthiest, but for you to be there as a foundation that people want to show up. I mean, everybody knows that feeling when you go when you want to go see someone that's a special feeling Rosie and as Alexis was saying, a lot of it is because of who you are as a person and who you want as a person also didn't just magically happen. No, no.

  Rosie Ramos 33:21

  I'm thinking as I'm thinking of my mom, as you're saying that and I get a little choked up because you know, my bones, who I am is my mom I work hard because she worked hard. I value family because that was the big message growing up. It's like nothing matters but family. Treating people really well. So yeah, you're absolutely right, you know, I and I just just owe so much to her. Um, she's such a beautiful person and she's so beautiful. I you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna bring some tie something in when people come in and they'll be like, what tell me what you think about Botox and should I do it and should I not do it and and I always say to women, the most beautiful women that I know are the women in my family and they are aged and they have wrinkles but they have the most beautiful smiles and they have the most beautiful way of expressing themselves and Botox can't give you that. Get it sure if that makes you feel good, but I that just like everything about everything about the beauty of my mom and the beauty of my sisters. ties in with what I do, you know, my, this little Atelier that I own. I wanted it to be something like a bodega Bodega is a small little you know, corner store and my grandmother who my mom's mom used to have a Bodega in the Bronx in New York City. And I remember when I opened Joy, I wanted to surprise my mom and kind of give homage to to her mom. And because, you know, we are a generation of women who are hardworking, and independent, and, and strong. And I remember, you know, we were still setting up and we weren't open yet. And my mom came, and, you know, my mom is, has some, you know, challenges being mobile, but she made the effort to come and see the space. And I wanted to, like, surprise her because I wrote bow they got on our door. And, and she looked at it, and I said, Do you know what this is? And, and I said, I wanted to, I wanted to tie in something really incredible that your mom gave you this ethic in this, you know, little corner store, even though it was skin, and we weren't selling, you know, milk and eggs, but it was just such a, such a proud moment for me to be able to kind of give that to her like I here I am because of you. I'm strong because of you. I'm successful because of you. My success is joy. And my mission is to spread that. And yeah, hopefully make her really happy.

  Alexis Reid 36:18

  What a beautiful story. I think that's gonna make a lot of moms really happy. Yeah. I'm grateful for you to share that with us and with with our listeners today, because, you know, my brother and I are both very close with our mom who has inspired us. And I will never forget, I had the amazing honor of presenting overseas at a conference in Ireland brought my mom along. It was the first time she saw me really, like do my thing. And it was, she came along with me for her 60th birthday. And I'll never forget that I think just sitting there in the audience listening was probably a better gift than anything else, we did that entire vacation. And to be able to do that, to be able to work and live in the honor of those who supported and helped us to get to this point, I think is the greatest honor and point of appreciation that surpasses any other success or point of excellence in anybody's life. So thank you for sharing that. Rosie, you're you're just you're flowing so beautifully. And and I'm just so impressed by the confidence in how you talk about the work that you do.

  Rosie Ramos 37:27

  Thank you. Yeah, it's actually nice to hear me tell the story because I, it makes me really stop and reflect, and, and acknowledge, you know how much I have done and accomplished. Because you know, when you're on the trajectory of just moving forward and trying to like, get there. You forget to stop, and you forget to just say, Wow, I was just a way for about 10 days. And I walked into work on Tuesday, and I was so excited. No Wednesday, I was so excited to go back to work. And one of the girls on the one girlfriends I had gotten away with she said, Wow, that's so nice that you like, are so eager to get back to work. And I'm like, I love my job. I love my place. And every time I open the door to Joy, I go, Hi, Joy, I'm here. And it's just like, I'm so fortunate. I'm so lucky. And it's so nice when your employees walk through the door and they're like, this is my happy place. It just makes me just shine. Yeah, I feel really lucky. You know, I think one of the things that I you know what to do, and one of the things that you mentioned is like, you know, I think the trajectory of our path and our journey, like I said at the beginning of the podcast, we're still on it, I'll always be on it. And it just keeps getting better and better. I think that's kind of like with age too, you realize like, you really fall into yourself, you get comfortable in who you are. And it is so easy for me to talk about what I do, because finally, for the first time in my life, and it's been a little bit of time for the first time in my life, I this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I am here to help a lot of people. And that is an incredible gift that not everybody has. And I I feel I feel like I have like a magic wand. And that is just that I was like I feel like I have a superwoman cape on an invisible one. And it's just like my responsibility is to take care of women and to make empower them and make them feel beautiful. And impart my knowledge and the other piece to my job that I want to mention is I refer so many people to who need help with diet and I refer so many people who shouldn't be seeing me they should be seeing me such therapist, or a therapist, maybe talk to someone, or just give them space in my place to just sit and maybe read a book or have a cup of tea, or have a place to let them know that if they have nowhere to go, come and sit here. And that just feels so good. It's a community of, of these professional people who can take care of each other. And that is, has been really an eye opener for me in my line of work, because it actually helps what I do. And yeah, I know when I say esthetician, I'm like esthetician, I,

  Alexis Reid 40:39

  I don't think of you as an esthetician, I think that's a really important role. But I think you embody so much more. And I think again, going back to what I said before about, you're constantly on a journey to learn more, and to have the humility to say I'm not sure yet. And I want to keep learning, I want to keep evolving, I want to keep figuring out a way to give and do better 

  Rosie Ramos 41:03

  100%. 

  Alexis Reid 41:04

  And I think it's a beautiful thing. And I think you know, when it comes down to being successful and owning a business, it's it's so much more than just, you know, the bottom line or the outcome, or how many people you get to see in a week, like sometimes the profession sometimes leads to that, right. And sometimes it's a means to an end. And that's a point in some person's journey as it is for everybody to survive. But I think what you're describing, and what you're sharing is that once you get to a certain point where you've mastered your skills, you've recognized and accepted, this is my purpose. And you've you've taken on the responsibility of I want to be able to and I'm fortunate to be able to share and give light and joy to others, so that they can spread it to others is such a beautiful thing. And I am grateful in my role to be able to I'm sure Jerry, you feel the same way to hear people get to that point in their journey, where they started to put the pieces together. Because you know, not everybody's journey is gonna look exactly the same. And in fact, we don't need everybody to do the same thing. And to take the same path, you know, the diversity and variability and in people's strengths, and even their weaknesses and recognizing what they need to do what they can do. What's possible, is such a beautiful thing, I think that that part of humanity is often overlooked, or looked down upon. But it's really often the things that help us to grow and to inspire us and to find our passion. And when people walk through your door and lay on the bed, and they start to you know, peel back the layers of what they brought in with them, and feel safe and comforted. To be able to just be present, and to be taken care of that vulnerability is again, we talked about courage before, I think that's courageous, to even show up to do that for yourself and allow for somebody else to care for you is such a beautiful thing. And what a wonderful honor that you have.

  Rosie Ramos 43:02

  I do have an incredible honor, I have an incredible honor take care of people, I have an incredible honor to mentor young women, you know, I think about joy and I think about my own experience and how I started in my I say to the girls, you know, this won't be if this is your stepping stone, if this is your foundation, I'm honored, because this won't be your last job. And perhaps you will, too own your own business. And I encourage that and however I can help and get you there is my responsibility. And that's the other side of my job. No, that's the the behind the scenes side of my job is really encouraging, really taking care of the people who work for me who take care of other people. I think that is equally important to create a work environment where I always say to the girls walk in here, like you own the place, and you will always do right and you will learn you know, I think about the people who take care of the things and do the things that I don't do well you know, my bookkeeper and an accountant and you know, I think about my family I think about their my springboard, right? It's like who I can when I am having a bad day, I can turn and call my sister or I'll call my husband or I'll call you and I'm having a bad day or I'm not having a good moment. You know, I too is not I'm not all joyous 24 hours a day, seven days a week I I really work hard at trying to live the life that I try to preach and instill in all of the people around me. And that's not perfect. Because I too am affected by the things in the world and you know, I'm a woman 51 in menopause and afflicted with all of those things right and

  Alexis Reid 44:45

  those of you who can't see her as your I know you would never know that she's 51 

  Rosie Ramos 44:50

  just looking at my hair color, you would know. But Yes. The other thing too, you know, as I'm talking as I talk, I try not to mention Too much my, my son because everything I do, why to pray him, because I always wanted to be an incredible example to him. You know, one of the things that so full circle, that joy right now is bringing me is the ability to not work all the time, so that I can have some time to spend with my son, with my mom with my sisters are having some serious family time. And that also has come through a lot of hard work and working many days every Saturday if you asked my son, when he was growing up, there wasn't a Saturday where I could really make him pancakes because I was always you always this big spa day was Saturday. And I remember there were there were times where I wouldn't work on a Saturday and he's like, wow, you're home. Like we're making breakfast. And that to me is you know I don't want to say I'm at the end of my career but I'm I'm I feel like I'm coming to the crescendo 

  Alexis Reid 45:57

  Well said 

  Rosie Ramos 45:58

  it's going to be an it feels so nice because it's going to be it's, it feels really sweet. Because it's not going to be a hard goodbye. It's just going to be like okay, what is the next evolving phase of this career that is so part of my life and has been frankly a part of my family's life because they've lived through it as well.

  Alexis Reid 46:22

  So I actually before we get to the what's next part of your journey I want to touch back on what you said before about when people come in to your care and feel safe and feel comfort comfortable and comforted. Because it's it's bringing about and eliciting so many thoughts about humanistic psychology for me that really resonated as I was learning it in my studies and my my training. And you know, it go back to Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which most people have learned about are seen on social media in some way now at this point of life. And really, you know, it wasn't meant to be a pyramid and Scott Barry Kaufman did some really brilliant work kind of unpacking a lot of Maslow's work. And he transformed the pyramid, which was intended for marketing purposes, to help business people to understand how to be motivated and successful, like what are the key components to get you to this aspect of life where you can just find your purpose and live in that moment. But it wasn't meant to be a pyramid because there aren't really like steps and stages that are laid out, follow this formula, and you'll get to this point. So Scott, Barry Kaufman, who's a humanistic psychologist, among many other things, podcaster himself, who I really respect and admire a lot of the work that he does and puts out in the world, he transformed it into an image of a sailboat, thinking about how if you have certain needs met, kind of at that foundation of feeling safe, feeling connected, having the things that you need, it keeps your sail boat steady, despite any of the different turbulence that you might experience when you're out at sea. You know, if the waves kick up, the wind kicks up, if you can find some stability to find a little bit of balance in the hull, in the bottom part of the boat, then you can actually take advantage of the wind that comes through the sails in the sail in his depiction is more focused on you know, can you find your your purpose, can you experience love fully? And can you actually get to this place where you are, you know, fully transforming your experience, to be something that is really encompasses what it's like to be human, what our purpose is on this planet. And it's such a beautiful thing. And when you talk about, you know, people coming into your care, and again, like I just said feeling safe and feeling connected and feeling comfortable. That's just such an important thing. And Jerry, I know you experienced this in your work, especially as a therapist, or you know, even in your sports psychology work as people are coming in and being vulnerable. And I think this is such an important conversation to just put out there that vulnerability is scary. It is hard. And it often feels like you're kind of opening up a wound that you never know what's gonna happen from it. And you coming in here and talking about your story. It's, it's sharing parts of yourself in a very vulnerable, open, beautiful way. And I want to just point out that when you can get to a point where you feel vulnerable, you feel open. Oftentimes, it might bring about a point of reflection or connection or passion and purpose that you maybe didn't realize was a part of you. And it might help you to kind of like explore something within yourself that you didn't even realize was operating inside of you. And I want us to think about your story in that what's yours sharing today in terms of our own lives, and in listeners lives to say, Okay, what's going on it within me that, that brings me joy in combination with what my strengths and skills are, or strengths and skills that you can continue to develop, or to improve upon, that might lead you to your own path of purpose. At this stage of life, you know, so many people say, Oh, I have to have all these conditions in play perfectly. Before I make a move before I make a change. And I, you know, I'll share my story one day, on the podcast that sometimes when you leap, even when the nets not there, the net will appear. And when you take that time to really get sure in yourself, feeling confident in your journey, in your experiences, I think that's what allows you to be able to find this path and to be able to figure out what exactly you're meant to do and what you're supposed to be doing. Which in your beautiful story turns out to be, you know, this business owner, and also a practitioner of that which you love, which allows for you to mentor, guide and teach others to do the same. But that can look like so many other things for different people, too. And I hope that the listeners who tune in to the podcast and listen to this episode can can take a few moments to reflect upon their own journeys, maybe write it down, maybe tell a friend, maybe record it. 

  Rosie Ramos 51:30

  Sure, yeah, 

  Alexis Reid 51:31

  kind of think about. And take that moment, like you said, to appreciate how much has gone into everything that we've done, that's gotten us to this point.

  Gerald Reid 51:42

  And it takes a long time.

  Rosie Ramos 51:44

  Sure does. You know, it takes a long time to perfect trust in yourself. And it takes a long time to build faith. And those of the things that that you lean into, those are the things that carry you those are the things that stabilize the boat, I believe, for yourself, so that when the wind does come and it wants to take you in a certain direction, you have that anchor to be able to allow the wind to do that. Without it being a storm.

  Gerald Reid 52:12

  Rosie, I want to point this out you are we've we've been saying this in so many words, but you are such a great role model. 

  Rosie Ramos 52:20

  Thank you, 

  Gerald Reid 52:21

  and a leader. And it's not easy to do that. Because you had to put yourself on the line and do what you feel is right. And you're a great example, as we're saying that you can do good and be successful at the same time. And boy, does the world need that. Yeah. And you're living proof. 

  Rosie Ramos 52:42

  Thank you. 

  Gerald Reid 52:43

  And it wasn't easy. And I know it wasn't easy. Yeah, I know you. And I know, it wasn't easy. And in many ways. Look what you transformed.

  Rosie Ramos 52:56

  I'm proud. I'm really proud. Yeah. And I can hope I hope that I help other people. You know, even if I hope that, you know, anybody, even one person listening, and they have any doubts and just lean in, take a chance, what's the worst thing that can happen? It doesn't work out, then you know, it doesn't work out, and you just try something else. And I know that that's a scary, it's very scary concept. That's why a lot of people don't don't make moves, and they don't make changes. But, you know, we have one life, and we're here right now. So you might as well just live it to the fullest.

  Gerald Reid 53:35

  It doesn't have to be something huge, like opening a business like, right, when you're younger, or something like that. It could be in a lot of ways. You know, I hear patients sometimes they're like, great people, great character, great values. And they feel like they're not like they feel like those things are not appreciated in the society we live in. You know, and for me, I'm like, oh, man, I really appreciate you as a person. Yeah, I get to experience it, I get to understand it. And again, like, you know, and to say that it's always important, it's not just important, when you have success, and you have character and values, it's always important. So I just want to acknowledge that every step of the way, in your story, all of it's important, not just the success of the business. ,

  Rosie Ramos 54:21

  No, I mean, the success of the business have been because of all of the hardship, you know, it's like, all of the, the sleepless nights and can I make this Can I do this or will people come Will people rebook and, you know, the uncertainty of so many things and being tired, you know, going through some hardships, you know, in my personal life, and still being able to show up. That's a challenge. But my job also has, you know, I I, when I step into the room, and I'm ready to give i It takes me away. It really takes me away. And that has been its own gift to me. And, you know, when people like, people say to me, thank you so much, Rosie, this was amazing blah, blah. And I, my mind, I always say, No, thank you, thank you, because this was my gift and me giving is the biggest joy. Like, it makes me so incredibly happy to give that no one will ever understand the happiness it gives me. And the happiness is my validation. So, you know, thank you is just the cherry on on top, you know, so thank you. I really, I really appreciate you saying that. And I actually feel that way. I can honestly say like, You're right. (laughter) I'm lucky and fortunate.

  Alexis Reid 56:00

  And with that, we will thank you for your time and your wisdom and sharing your story here with us today. 

  Rosie Ramos 56:06

  Thank you so nice agree with you. Spend time with you however I can.

  Gerald Reid  

  Thanks for tuning in to the Reid Connect-ED podcast. Please remember that this is a podcast intended to educate and share ideas, but it is not a substitute for professional care that may be beneficial to you at different points of your life. If you are needed support, please contact your primary care physician, local hospital, educational institution, or support staff at your place of employment to seek out referrals for what may be most helpful for you. ideas shared here have been shaped by many years of training, incredible mentors research theory, evidence based practices and our work with individuals over the years, but it's not intended to represent the opinions of those we work with or who we are affiliated with. The reconnected podcast is hosted by siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid. Original music is written and recorded by Gerald Reid (www.Jerapy.com) recording was done by Cyber Sound Studios. If you want to follow along on this journey with us the Reid Connect-ED podcast. we'll be releasing new episodes every two weeks each season so please subscribe for updates and notifications. Feel free to also follow us on Instagram @ReidConnectEdPodcast that's @ReidconnectEdPodcast and Twitter @ReidconnectEd. We are grateful for you joining us and we look forward to future episodes. In the meanwhile be curious, be open, and be well.

In this episode, Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid are joined by Rosemary “Rosie” Ramos, the owner and founder of Joy - A Skin Altalia in Charlestown, MA right outside of the city of Boston. Rosie discusses her long and winding journey that ultimately led her to find joy AND success in opening up her own small business in which she brings all of herself to her clients as an esthetician. Through the hardships, Rosie discusses how she navigated life, including the influences that shaped who she has become not just a successful business owner, but as a person who lives with a deep purpose and is beloved by so many of those who cross her path. 

Be curious. Be Open. Be well.

The ReidConnect-Ed Podcast is hosted by Siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid, produced by and original music is written and recorded by www.Jerapy.com

*Please note that different practitioners may have different opinions- this is our perspective and is intended to educate you on what may be possible.