S2 E7: Navigating Career & Family w/TV Personality & Media Coach

Jun 27

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Marisa Brahney of marisabrahney.com is an Emmy award-winning, dynamic and versatile television host, lifestyle expert and media coach.
A former news anchor and born storyteller with the gift of gab, Marisa is a well-versed media professional who has spent nearly two decades immersing herself in all aspects of the business, appearing regularly on national and regional TV for almost 20 years.
As a host, brand ambassador and on-air lifestyle expert, Marisa has partnered with some of the nation's biggest brands in the food and lifestyle space, including her role representing Cuisinart as the brand’s national ambassador on QVC. She has worked with dozens of other prominent companies like General Mills, Amazon, Olay, Secret, Bath & Body Works, Blue Diamond, and Kendra Scott to bring their messaging to life on camera.Marisa uses her breadth of experience to teach others as a media coach and consulting, developing her clients' strategy and helping them expand their reach and make the most of any exposure opportunity that comes their way. In addition to her television career and running her business,
Marisa is a proud mom to sons Kennedy and Ashton and daughter Lila. Having also lost her first daughter, Charlotte, to birth complications in 2014, Marisa is a passionate advocate for pregnancy and infant loss awareness initiatives that support families who’ve lost their babies.
- Entering into a new field can feel scary and overwhelming, but also thrilling.
- It can help to lean into the learning, hard work, and the excitement of the opportunity rather than falling into the fear.
- Skills are built from doing the thing you may be afraid of trying rather than just thinking about it, even starting at a low level.
- Having a foundation from someone/people can be such an important aspect when things feel difficult.
- What a particular person thinks of you can be highly subjective, particularly when you are putting yourself out there in the media. That does not mean that another person may have a different opinion about you for one reason or another. It can come down to putting yourself out there in a way that is genuine to you.
- As an adult, it is helpful to remember to take perspective of the younger person when guiding or leading or parenting. The younger person has their own perspective (limited to the limited amount of years they have lived) that is unique to them.
- There can be a lot of pressure on social media and media to be something that you’re not.
- For college athletes who are now able to gain endorsements, it can help to align with a company that feels genuine to you so it feels natural to advertise the product/company.
- Individuals can fall into posting things on social media strictly as part of the ‘business’ and keeping up with modern society; however, the risk is that it can turn into posting online strictly the ‘likes’ or for external validation, which can pull them away from generating their own sense of self and self-esteem internally.
- It can feel like a lot of pressure to be on social media, as if you are ‘famous’ in your own way and it’s important to remember that being famous is not an easy experience.
- When someone is going through a hard time or a traumatic experience, it can help to identify what the person may need from you rather than assume you know what they need or what you want to say to them.
- People can create meaning out of traumatic experiences, although this is an individualized process that can require a great deal of grieving and sadness until a person can get to that point.
Alexis Reid 00:19
Welcome back to the Reid Connect-Ed Podcast. Today we're joined by Marisa Branhey who's an Emmy Award winning dynamic and versatile television host, lifestyle expert and media coach, a former news anchor and born storyteller with a gift of gab. Marisa is a well versed media professional, who has spent nearly two decades immersing yourself in all aspects of the business, appearing regularly on national and regional TV for almost 20 years. As a host brand ambassador and on your lifestyle expert, Marisa has partnered with some of the nation's biggest brands in the food and lifestyle space, including her role, representing Cuisinart as the brand's national ambassador on QVC. She has worked with dozens of prominent companies like General Mills, Amazon Olay secret Bath and Bodyworks Blue Diamond and Kendra Scott to bring their messaging to life on camera. Marisa uses her breadth of knowledge to teach others as a media coach and consulting, developing her clients strategy and helping them expand their reach and make the most of any exposure opportunity that comes her way. In addition to her television career and running her business, Marisa is a proud mom to two sons, Kennedy and Ashton and daughter Lila, having also lost her first daughter Charlotte to birth complications in 2014. Marisa is a passionate advocate for pregnancy and infant loss awareness initiatives that support families who've lost her babies. Additionally, Marisa and I go way back as we started our undergraduate careers together at Loyola University in Maryland, also formally known as Loyola College, I'll never let that one go.
Alexis Reid 02:02
Marisa, we're so glad we had to have you here today.
Marisa Brahney 02:06
I'm so happy to be with you. And I'm, you know, so honored that you thought of me for this, to really just speak to mental health and the way that it plays into our career and our life and our and our journeys. And I love what you and Jerry are doing to really open minds and hearts and eyes to all of the things that go along with taking care of ourselves. So thanks for having me on the podcast.
Alexis Reid 02:31
Thanks, Marisa. I think this is a story of social media gone, right. Because over the years, as I moved to Boston away from New Jersey, you and I have separated our paths a little bit. But I always feel so connected through the stories you share. And every time we come together, it's like no time has passed. And I really appreciate that aspect of social media, because I think it's brought, you know, so many of us, especially from college together and continuing to stay in touch to no parts of each other's lives. And, you know, the thing I love about your presence on social media through your work is that you are so real with your life, right? You're not just putting on a persona, as we've talked about here on the podcast before, you're really showing your true self and knowing you for all these years, I know that for sure. But I hope the your followers, your audience, those who you work closely with really appreciate that, because that's so unique. And that's so beautiful.
Marisa Brahney 03:32
Thank you so much. And, you know, I'm honored to call you an old dear friend for many years. And yes, we do go back, you know, she's 20 years now, which is hard to believe and wrap my head around. But yeah, it's so true, what you said, I think that, you know, for me, I've always been a person who has crave connection, and thrived on connection. You know, with my small circle, and with my big circle, you know, it's one of those things that changes as we age. But I think that that really, truly is one of the beautiful things about social media is that connection and the way that we're able to access it in in, you know, such a dynamic way, over time, and really do kind of get a glimpse into people's lives who, ordinarily we might not be able to kind of see the journeys in an up close way, if we live far apart and you know, we have the busyness of our, our lives going on. So I feel the same and I appreciate what you said about realness. It's something that you know, I've thought about quite a lot over the course of my career and now talk a lot about with my clients who you know, are looking to do media work or television work or expand their, you know, their, their reach in some way. It's so important because it's so easy these days to kind of get caught up in the pace and the volume of information that we're exposed to. And I think there's sometimes pressure to to be something maybe that we're not. And so I just, I really do value that authenticity. And I know that word gets thrown around a lot. But it really is so important, especially in this digital age.
Alexis Reid 05:21
Yeah, for sure. So before we dive too deep into where we are now, in our media lives, I really want us to focus on on your journey, because becoming a journalist is no easy task. Ironically, I started out my educational career in college focused on broadcast journalism. And I, I laugh often that I ended up doing this podcast and, you know, doing, you know, talks and speeches and doing professional development around education and mental health. And I think it's so interesting that I've come back around because even though I'm not, you know, in front of the screen, or often behind the microphone, except for here on the podcast, I feel like I've brought a lot of those tools that I learned back in the day before I switched over to my degree and my my path in education. I feel like I've brought a lot of that with me. And I'm always still learning and I'm sure you have plenty of tips to give me too.
Alexis Reid 06:14
But you're I want to talk a little bit about how that became your journey or passion. Because since I know you back at Loyola, you were so passionate about that work, and really finding ways to communicate and connect people with information. And, you know, tell us a little bit about how that became your career path?
Marisa Brahney 06:35
Yeah, well, I think you said it. I mean, even back in our college days, I was sort of laser focused on this career path. Even even from the time I was like eight or nine, I remember just really being fascinated with the idea of, you know, telling stories through television, the way that journalists, particularly TV journalists, were really given this, this eyewitness to history in a way that was so interesting to me, such a responsibility to me, and something that I just always found so exciting and intriguing. And, you know, I felt that way my whole career. And so I, you know, sort of set out knowing knowing I wanted to do that. But Loyola was not a school that was, you know, one of these big broadcast journalism schools, it was just, I just felt such a connection. Yeah, I just felt such a connection to Loyola. When I visited, I knew that's where I wanted to spend my college years. And we figured out a way you and I and a few other select people to kind of start this TV station on campus. I also was fortunate enough to have some great, you know, transformative internships when I was in school. And, you know, I kind of just did a lot myself just figured out kind of how to make like a tape to send to stations. And that's, you know, what you do when you're applying for jobs in this field? Did you have like a resume real? You know, some examples of you storytelling on camera. And so I did that through my internships. And I sent out like, that summer after we graduate, I think, like 40 different tapes, at least that was at the mail. I was at the post office every week with a stack of mail, like, you know, VHS, VHS tapes.
Alexis Reid 08:25
what are those again, most of our listeners might not even know.
Marisa Brahney 08:30
Very old school, you know, before we were able to send things on our phones, I would, you know, tape them and send them out to news directors around the country. And I took the first honor job I got, which is to this day, something I tell. I've told every intern and every client I've had is like just get on air because you have to start somewhere and you really only get better by doing it. And so that job was in upstate New York. It was a part time three days a week. What what we call the business one man banding job, which means you shoot all your own video, you edit everything, you write the story, you appear on camera like you do at all. You're you're you're a one man or one woman package. And so I did that I picked up and moved to a little small town that I had never heard of where I knew no one and started my career. And it was it was just all I could ever ask for in terms of a first job. I had amazing mentors. I made some of my best friends there. I did work at Starbucks the other four days a week to pay my rent, because it was $9 an hour for three days a week and my parents were like what? But it was just incredible. And I and I have worked up to full time and I was there for two years. I did everything there was to do at that station. I think there were three reporters The total. So I mean, we really did a little bit of everything I produced I anchored I worked overnights, I, you know, just all kinds of crazy hours and crazy situations. And then from there, you know,
Gerald Reid 10:14
Hey Marisa, can ask you a quick question.
Marisa Brahney 10:17
Yeah, sure
Gerald Reid 10:17
So this is like the, this is the origins, right? This is the beginning stages, when you really got into this and working with athletes and people who were talking about their stories leading up to where they are now, or their high performing. They talk a lot about, like, the emotional experience of it all is quite different when they're younger. And so I wanted to just get your experience, I don't want to put words in your mouth. But you know, what was it like, emotionally and like, what was your mindset like back then? Versus as you kind of progressed in your career, and kind of the pressure came on and so forth? Like, how did you feel? What was your mindset in these early stages?
Marisa Brahney 10:57
It's such a great question. And such an interesting one. You know, I started at that station, the week of the 2004 election, so it was fall of 2004. And I was so green. I mean, I was 22 years old, I knew nothing about the world. So you know, and it was like, okay, here, go report on the mortgage crisis, like, as a 25 year old, you know, like, all of these really big meaty topics that, you know, I was scared, and, you know, there, there's a lot said, there's a lot to be said about, you know, sort of having your head down. And, you know, just really just focusing on your career at that stage of your life. And I was very focused on my career, and I, I was just learning as much as I could. And so the emotional side of it, you know, there was definitely this idea of how long am I supposed to do this, like, I had no idea what I was doing. But there was also just such an adrenaline rush and an excitement around learning and figuring it all out and really absorbing everything I could, both about, really the adult world that I was just sort of entering into right as a as a young person, but also the community that I was getting to know. And this is something that I always come back to about what I loved so much about being in TV journalism was that when you move to different areas, and you're reporting on them, you really get this like crash course on, like, what makes a community tick? Like, what are the issues that are, you know, that they're passionate about that, you know, what are some of these ongoing things that are happening in society in that particular sector of the country. And so to me, as someone who, you know, just as a life I like I love to learn, I'm just a very curious person, I've always been that way. It was so exciting to sort of just dive right in, right. And at the time, too, when you're young. You know, you don't have the responsibilities that you have as sort of a middle aged adult, it's a different world, you can really, really, like immerse yourself so emotionally. It was, you know, I think equal parts, like terrifying and thrilling at once. But just really a whole lot of hard work. And just really being just, again, just very, very focused on what can I do to get better? What do I need to know? Like, how can I excel at this career I've chosen and just really giving my all to that.
Gerald Reid 13:43
Yeah, I appreciate the the openness there. Because when you're scared, and you don't know what you don't know, the silver lining of that is that there's actually a lot of room to grow. Like when you're young, there's so much ahead of you that you can get better at. So that's really cool that, you know, I think Alexis and I share that commonality too, is like you just you're so curious, you're excited. It's like the athletes who work with you know, sometimes they talk about being nervous and you can translate or interpret that nervousness not only as nervousness, but also as excitement in that kind of helps you to propel yourself into these hard moments, to reinterpreted as excitement and that seems to really, when you lean into that, that can really get you through, you know, the uncertainty when you just want to learn
Marisa Brahney 14:25
it. It's so true. And it's funny because I like I would not describe myself as like an adrenaline junkie, like I don't like roller coasters. That's scary movies. No, like, I'm not really that type of person. But the adrenaline of live television. I love and it's a totally sort of different feel. But it's almost like it's this challenge and it's this excitement level that I've always sort of seen even from very early on in my career, as like something I can just like go out there and crush Shit with and I mean, I certainly wasn't always that way. But when I was first starting out, that was the goal, right? Like that was like, Okay, how can I get better this? What can I do to practice to think better on my feet and be able to talk for long periods of time without pausing or without, you know, seeming confused or so it's just funny psychologically, to hear that, and I do feel, you know, I think you're hitting it on the head, I'm sure a lot of athletes go through that in various ways throughout their careers as well.
Alexis Reid 15:30
I just wanted to bring it back to when we were back at school, you know, thinking about being curious and passionate. You know, we were at a school that was, it was in line with our values, right? It was a Jesuit school, who did a lot around social justice and helping the community helping other people. And I think that's what attracted us to it, because it wasn't just about focusing on one thing, it was really about focusing on a community and society. And we both I think, went there, knowing what we wanted to do. And it didn't exist, right. And the coolest part about that, and I haven't thought about this, and so long, I'm glad we're talking about this, because we took something that didn't exist, and we brought it into creation, like, we were like, No, we're doing this. And at the time, I was into sports, I thought I was gonna be a sports broadcaster back in the day. And, you know, you took the news feed, and you took the news department, and you created the entire thing. I mean, we really didn't have too much, we had maybe a handful of broadcast courses underneath our belts from other places, and a little bit of the technical work that we had toyed with, but we were really doing it all talk about one man band, you know, we were really putting everything together by ourselves, I think we were both the On Air, people, the producers, the writer. Right, we did all of that, while we were taking these classes that were often unrelated from what we were doing in the newsroom. And I just want to, you know, double down on this for a minute, because a lot of our listeners, a lot of the clients Jerry and I work with, they often have these dreams and aspirations, but they're not sure where to get started, they may not see it in, you know, the people that they know, or in the community that they're a part of, and that can sometimes stifle their whole process. And I think, you know, one of the biggest messages you were just sharing about your first job, and I think also goes back to when we were in college is, if there's something that you really know, in your heart that you should be doing, and you have a skill set to do it or a desire and a curiosity to pursue it, you got to just do it, you just got to put yourself in there and just see what happens.
Marisa Brahney 17:37
True. It's so true. And I've heard from so many young people over the years, again, like interns and things like that I've always loved having interns, like throughout the course of my career, because I was able to just like, you know, really explain my experience, you know, starting out, but also just tell them like, you know, there's it, as you said, if there's something you want to do, you're not going to get good at it by not doing it. And just by thinking about it, you're not that's not going to build a skill, that's not going to build, you know, that that fire more like you're there's a huge difference between just thinking of doing something and wanting to do it and actually just starting and you don't have to start at this high level. I mean, you know, there's so many ways now to where if people have a desire to have a career in television. I mean, we have television cameras in our pockets, basically, you know, like, there's just, there's so much opportunity for media now that that did not exist when you and I were starting out. So yeah, I always say that, you know, to people is that, if you want to try it, just try it. And you know, there's just there's so much to be said, for just giving it a shot and seeing how it goes like you just really don't know until you are out there doing it.
Alexis Reid 18:58
Yeah, for sure.
Gerald Reid 18:59
Hey Marisa, Can I ask you this question, because, you know, part of our work is helping individuals to grow into be, you know, put themselves out there, which is being vulnerable. But also to feel like you have a secure base to fall back to that, you know, number one, you're going to have honest feedback, because, you know, honest, feedback is part of growing, but also to feel like you're going to keep your confidence you're not going to just fall apart when you know, you get critiqued or things are not going well and things fall apart. And you know, we all know that, like, nothing's perfect and like where you got to, you know, where people get to it takes time. It takes emotional resilience. So, you know, we definitely know, you know, we've had people in our lives to really kind of keep that foundation alive. And it's not something that just we take for granted. It's very important. So, you know, can you tell us a little bit about that, you know, who was that for you? Or, you know, where did you get that or was it in different places for yourself?
Marisa Brahney 19:59
So for sure to parents, I've always had incredibly supportive parents who, you know, have really just been all in on my dreams, my aspirations, you know, have followed my career journey with such passion and such love and acceptance of, you know, moving around and choosing, you know, a path that, you know, certainly is not a moneymaker of any kind, especially in the initial years. And, you know, just the way that they were just so happy for me that I was going after something that I dreamed about, I just, I hope to be that for my kids. And I strive to be that for my kids as well, because it is, it truly is a foundation that I think I, I feel so grateful for and I know is not everyone has. So I will start by saying that the other thing I will say about confidence, and you know, being able to maintain that resilience is one of the things that has helped me throughout my career because I've always been a person who's a bit of a people pleaser, I've sort of always or at least I always saw myself that way as like a young person, I think I've come a long way from that. But one of the things that I tell people often is that, you know, many fields, not just television, many fields are subjective, to a certain extent, right? someone's opinion of you, is totally subjective in certain areas, and they're, you know, they're you beyond giving it your all, doing the best you possibly can, showcasing your skill set, well, being prepared, being hard working, all of those things being good at what you do. Beyond those things, there are a lot of factors that are totally out of your control, that you know that that sort of impact, whether or not you're going to get a job, whether or not you're going to, you know, I always used to say like a news director or you know, a decision maker in the television world can watch my piece or put in my, you know, my resume tape. And in the first few seconds, for whatever reason, just be like, I don't really like her, there's something about her, you know, maybe it's the way she says a certain word, she uses her hands too much for my liking. I mean, again, totally subjective things where it's like the next person that watch that very same piece and be like, I love her. She's so relatable. She's exactly what we're looking for, you know, you just don't know, and you can't control it, you know, it's totally out of your control, but what someone's opinion of you is in a subjective way. And so, I think initially, I found that sort of, like off putting and scary, but it I've gotten to a point in my career, and actually, for probably the last half of my career, you know, the past decade or longer even where it's actually been comforting in a way because it's like, okay, well I did everything I can possibly do. This is the best I've done, I know that this is great, you know, great stuff. I, that's all I can do, you know, like their opinion of me now is out of my control. And it's almost like a relief in some way. To a certain extent. So I think just another aspect of like, something that you sort of develop to and grow to kind of accept and actually even be at peace with.
Gerald Reid 23:38
That's great. That's reminds me of what Jelani said in the first episode of the season with casting, and auditioning for Broadway shows and, you know, lead parts is that he said, as long as I'm going to show up and be myself, they want the full version of me and it's not personal. It's really what they're looking for in somebody else will appreciate, you know, his full self because it'll fit whatever they're looking for. But that was a big lesson he learned as well. Thank you so much for sharing that.
Marisa Brahney 24:04
Yeah, absolutely. I think it's an important lesson for young people as a whole. And, you know, it's something that again, in the age of social media, and you know, we're so immersed in that, that I think, you know, there's this pressure, sometimes you're like, Well, this is what people want, or this is how I should be or whatever field you're in, it doesn't really matter the field, it's almost sometimes now from a personal standpoint, I think young people feel that. And, you know, I hope to instill that into my kids is that like you are you and that's perfect. And if it's not perfect for this person, it's going to be perfect for someone else. But most importantly it should be perfect for you and how you feel and how you live your life. You know, so, such great advice.
Alexis Reid 24:48
So as we know, you didn't continue on in a part time job on the on $9 An hour and then working in Starbucks forever. Tell us a little bit about what happened next.
Marisa Brahney 24:59
Yes, So after upstate New York, I got a job in Florida and you know, it is an industry where you do move around quite a bit. So you're sort of, especially in those initial years, you're kind of looking for that next opportunity and a little bit bigger television market, you know, more eyes, more experience. You know, definitely tighter deadlines, more work, all of those things come with it. So I moved to Florida, to an NBC station there, that was a really competitive sort of mid market station. And that's where I really cut my teeth and TV news, it was, you know, just it's a, it's a competitive, it's was Fort Myers, Naples, and it's a very competitive TV market, even to this day, for the size that it is. And I loved it, I loved again, just moving someplace, I never thought I would live and kind of just diving right in and learning all about the community. And that was really nice to live in the Florida sunshine for a few years, I was lucky enough to meet my husband there and we work together at the station, he's a producer, still is to this day in the TV world. And we really had a lot in common because we both grew up in New Jersey, only about 45 minutes from each other both in like beach towns. And we really bonded, of course, over you know, our passion for the industry we were in as well. And I you know, to this day, admire his work so much. And it's been really cool to support each other through the changes in our careers and kind of watch each other grow. And so, you know, I was there for a few years, and he got a job in Philly, at the NBC station. And I, you know, we kind of knew we wanted to get engaged, we were like looking to start this next chapter of our life. This was during the recession. So this was like 2009. To that, you know, and, you know, there were few few and far between jobs at that point. And it was just like really hard to make a move. And he got really lucky with just this opportunity that he couldn't pass up. So I moved without a job and moved with him to Philly, which was one of the scariest things I've ever done. I felt like I was at this stage of my career where like, I needed to move on, I needed to grow, but I wasn't sure what the next step was going to be. And I had an agent at the time who was you know, shopping me around all over the country to different stations and wanting me to take a job in Arizona and here and there. And I was just like, I want to be back in the northeast, I really want to be closer to my family again. I knew I wanted to, you know, eventually married my husband, we wanted to kind of just grow in life together. And I didn't want to be that far apart. And so I moved to Philly, and without a job and like, set up meetings with all the news directors in town and like weaseled my way in to the station that my husband had started working at. And again, it was this idea of all I'll do it all like I will, I want to be here, this is the station I want to work at I want to learn from these people. It was a at NBC owned and operated stations. So that means it's one of the you know, really premier stations in the country. And again, a lot of resources, a lot of eyes a lot of opportunity. And I worked on the assignment desk, I did some like field producing, I worked on they were launching like a fully digital second channel. And I was like, I'm in, I'll do whatever you know. And I ended up being able to report there like, you know, within a few short months, I was reporting every week I was on the weekend morning shows the weekend morning reporter and then I did the morning shows throughout the week as well, and some of the lifestyle show that we had there. So that was another sort of experience where it was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. Because I was like, I know I can do this. Like as soon as I show them what I can do. I know I'm gonna get more opportunities, and I did but it was certainly not easy. And it was certainly, you know, lots of butterflies in the stomach going to work every day feeling like okay, I really have to prove myself here. This is the number four television market in the country. And I'm at that point, I think I was 20 Let's say 2010. I was 28. So, you know, still young, still a lot to learn. So that was a really amazing experience. And I was there for three years and again, you know, the amount that I was able to learn in that time looking back was just I'm so grateful for I report Did on Hurricane Sandy when I was there, which of course was like a huge story, my gosh, and so emotional piece and particularly really emotional, yes, because it was, you know, impacted the Jersey Shore so much, which is where I'm from. So that was, you know, really just a transformative time in my life, we ended up getting engaged and married when we lived there, which was great. And then we moved back to New Jersey in 2013. And I had the chance to work in my home market covering my home state at news 12, New Jersey, which is a large cable station that covers all of New Jersey. And it was a job that I thought I would just maybe do one contract and stay for two years. And I ended up being there for six and a half years and becoming one of the main anchors on the station and covering all sorts of just really, you know, amazing stories in the state that I grew up in and care so much about. So it was really cool to be able to report on things and have, you know, my aunt call me or like my, you know, my college roommates, you know, all of that and kind of be excited for me and watching along. So I, I really loved that. And then you know, it came time, which I'm sure we're gonna talk about a little more fully, to make a pretty major career transition. And you know, it was a hard one, it was a hard decision, I spent over 16 years in news. But as you can tell from what I've said, so far, it's a pretty demanding job. And it's a pretty consuming industry. And I really wanted a different kind of life for my family, big picture wise, and to be a more present mom. And so I made the decision to leave news, four years ago, start my own business and sort of venture into the lifestyle side of television, which I was always interested in and had experience doing all that all that time. Because listen, you report in Philly, you can't get away with not covering Philly food, and Philly sports, and you know, all things that sort of make the city tick, which is a lot of sort of cultural stuff, which I adored. And, you know, kind of new would be sort of my future focused on the line. And that's sort of what's led me to this stage in my career.
Alexis Reid 32:32
So I actually want to go back for a minute, because I've had this conversation recently with both friends and clients, thinking about the idea and the intersections between faith fate, an agency. And you told the story of going from working down in Florida, following what you knew in your heart was the right thing to do is is moving with Tony, as he was starting a new job in Philadelphia. And, you know, you, you kind of put all those pieces together at the same time, right, you didn't just like jump and see what happens, you really kind of you had faith that this was the right thing to do, you probably rely a little bit on fate, like if this is meant to be I'm going to end up with the right job in the right place, even though there was other people pulling you in different directions. But you really took a lot of wonderful agency to say like, listen, I know I have the skills, let me show you what I've got. And let's see if we can make this work. And I wonder if you can talk a little bit about that experience. Because it seems like from what I know, at least, this is the same kind of, you know, time point where you had a choice to make, or there is this little bit of a juncture that you can go in different directions, that you really kind of took those three things and put them together at different stages of your life. So I wonder if you can talk a little bit about that. Because I think that's such a scary place to be, you know, Jerry and I work a lot with young and young adults, either, you know, going into college coming out of college, trying to switch their career paths if they're not sure what to do. And they always are talking about, you know, I think this is what I'm supposed to do. I think I think I have the skills to do it, but there's so much uncertainty. And you know, I wonder if you could talk a little bit more about that please.
Marisa Brahney 34:20
I love this question. And I don't think I've ever heard it quite put that way and I really appreciate the way you brought those sort of three, you know, thoughts and kind of feelings and actions really it's in there kind of each of them are a little bit of all of that you know, together. It's so true. You know you like I think about these pivotal times in my life all the time because, you know, had I not moved to Florida I never would have met my husband and listen when I was considering even that move. Florida was like not on my radar at all. I was applying for jobs everywhere but Florida and I have this This guy who was a friend of a friend who in the business was a mentor. And you know, I was kind of describing to him what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. And he watched my tape and like, critique it. And he had worked at this station that I ended up at in Florida. And he said to me, he's like, You need to be at the station. He said, the news director there was really tough, really tough, but really good and made really good. Like, some amazing people have come out of that station and gone on to do incredible things, including this particular man, I'm speaking about who was at CBS at the network. At the time, I was talking to him for a long time. And I was like, I don't know, like, I don't really, I'm not really interested in moving to Florida. So far. It's away from my family, all these things. But I said, Well, let me just go, let me just see what happens. I'll just send the tape. There's no harm in sending it. And we'll just see, and, you know, the news director wrote me back, we want to fly you down for an interview. And I'm like, Oh, they want me down. Like, this is so fancy, you know? Because I mean, that did not happen. For my first job. I was like, yes, please take me, please. You know. And so they flew me down. And you know, they had me stay in a hotel, they gave me a company card, like drive around. I mean, I still got paid peanuts, they pay you in Florida sunshine. But the feeling when I went down, there was what ended up having me, you know, uproot my life and move. It was just I walked into the building. And I knew that that was a place, I could grow tremendously. I met a few people there that I instantly kind of like clicked with. And again, super scary, like moving to a place I knew no one I had, I had this. She's now one of my best friends in my life. But ironically enough, she was my very first intern in upstate New York when I was working there. I was 22. And she was like four months younger than me, but hadn't yet graduated college. So she was my intern. And I had no idea what I was doing. I'm like, I don't know what I'm supposed to teach you because I just started but like, come along, and help me. And we got to be friendly. And then sure enough, a few years later, she and I were moving to Florida, at the same time, because she started at another station. And so the news director was like, Oh, there's another, you know, if you take the job, there's another girl. Her name is Stephanie. She's moving to and she's also from, like, the northeast, she's from the Philly area. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I know her. So there was sort of like, all of these signs and feelings and things that I couldn't ignore that were like, take this chance, you know. But again, you still have to make the decision. And same thing with Philly, it was just a mix of this feels right, this feels like I can do it. But like, I still had to do a lot to make it happen. And I think oftentimes, that's where people get a little frozen in fear is the agency part of it, right? Like, the emotions come more into play. And then the agency, part of it becomes a lot harder when you have all of these feelings and fears sort of swirling around. And I mean, I guess, advice wise, you know, something that again, I've always come back to is, you can always come back, you can always start again, you can always say this, this wasn't the right choice. And I think that realizing that like nothing is forever, right? Even if it's a job, even if it's a move, you know, what I've told people who want to get into TV is that, you know, when I say take the first job you get, because like, okay, in the scheme of things a year, two years of your life, it is a blip, right, like, it is so quick. Yeah. And even if it's a hard situation, even if it is even if you don't like it, you're unhappy there, you're still going to learn and grow from it. And in the grand scheme of your life, and the big picture of your life a year or two, you're going to look back at it and and be able to look at it as a learning experience and a growing experience, even if it wasn't a good experience. So I will say that that's what kind of looking back I think maybe I knew that deep down in my heart and you know, still was really scared, but maybe that's what pushed me to to kind of go for things. Yeah,
Alexis Reid 39:30
such good advice.
Gerald Reid 39:32
You know, we talked about this in the perfectionism episode that I think a lot of young people now have, probably always have but I think more and more now have this kind of all or nothing thinking like everything's got to work out. And if it doesn't, it's a disaster. It's a catastrophe. And, you know, you definitely see come across I think as a perfectionist, but like in a way that's healthy. I think like I want to learn, I want to grow, I want to get better. I'm going to do the things and be open to that. I think that's what sustain It's people to do that. And, you know, the other thing I want to say too is for parents, coaches, teachers, mentors out there, what you're saying, Marissa is important for us as adults to keep in mind of our own journey. So that when we talk to young people, we can empathize with them. And to remember, you know, like, what that was like, so that we can communicate in the way that really helps them work through those emotions. You know, I think it's easy, you know, like, let's say, you're, you know, you're the best basketball player ever to live, and you try to go coach a bunch of younger, you know, basketball players, and let's say, you can't really remember what it's like to be at that level, you're going to coach them in a way that's not going to be very helpful, you're not going to tap into, you know, what it's like, when you were that age, when you were in that developmental stage. So I, you know, I love what you're saying,
Marisa Brahney 40:47
Yeah, I try to think about that with my kids too. And, you know, remember that, like, you know, little, what are seemingly like a little things to them are really big things. And the same can be said for young adults. You know, so again, that idea of one year or like, one day even went live, like, you know, my seven year old, like, it's not the end, like you're gonna have another day tomorrow, but like to be able to put it in a way that is on his level, right? Because every day feels super important, every game every you know, test at you know, so I think you're, you're spot on, and that, you know, we have to kind of take, take ourselves, take our adult selves out of the equation sometimes. And just remember that,
Gerald Reid 41:31
that's, I think, as we get older, we have the advantage of having more life to live, we can see the big picture because there is a big picture. And when you're younger, we have so many lives, so many years behind us this everything seems very small. And
Alexis Reid 41:47
yeah, we have more data points as they get older.
Gerald Reid 41:49
Marissa, I know we're gonna get into some deeper stuff. But before we do, because I want to make sure I ask this, for the athletes I work with who might be listening. This is just some more practical advice, because, you know, now they have what's called the NFL where college athletes can basically get endorsements. And they can put themselves out there in social media and be you know, basically make money from having endorsements, which is, you know, helpful for athletes who who need that, and we're not getting, you know, the compensation they feel like they would want. So, I do think in life, there's pros and cons to most things. And it's hard to with cognitive dissonance, it's hard to like, think at both think of the both the pros and cons at the same time. So I'm always trying to do that, as the therapist psychologist, like, what are both sides of it? To just acknowledge it? So you know, what advice would you give to college athletes getting into that in terms of focus on more than mental health stuff? And you know, just how, you know, once you get engaged in this stuff, how it affects you mentally, psychologically, emotionally? What kind of advice would you would you give to college athletes who are probably new to doing something like that, it's probably there, they may have no, no, nobody guiding them, they may just be jumping into it or doing it, or maybe other people are coming to them, you know, trying to be, you know, market with them, and so forth. What you don't get to in too much detail now, this part of your practice, but what kind of advice would Yeah, this
Marisa Brahney 43:11
is such a great question, too. And again, I think that young people these days, there's, there's a lot of pressure with that comes with things like this, particularly with social media, because, you know, the comments and the reactions, and, you know, it's hard as a young person in general to not take criticism to heart, right. It's, it's, it's just how it is, as you said, the more you know, the older we get, we have more life experience, we, you know, we have a sort of a bigger lens to look at things through. But when you're, you know, 18 years old, I mean, I can't imagine, you know, being in that world and having just, you know, such a large influx of input into like, day to day things in your life, you know, that you're sharing on social media, especially as someone who has so many eyes on them as a college athlete or young athlete. So I would say, you know, first in terms of like, who, you know, like brands to align with and things like that. I would just say like, you know, again, what, back to what Alexis said is like this idea of faith, faith and agency, I think applies to so much when figuring out different ways to kind of advance yourself and so like, if an endorsement were to come to them, that just didn't feel right, for some reason didn't feel authentic to them was a little bit of a stretch. But I really, would I really like use this company if you know, they weren't coming near me like, think that that is like really, really important to take into consideration because I think that it's very evident these days when someone is endorsing something in a public forum that, you know, that they themselves would not use, right. That's where we get into this feeling of inauthenticity and phony and sort of just icky feeling, right? That that I think all of us as consumers of social media have had at some point. So I would say, you know, considering that not necessarily with other people's opinions in mind, but just for it to feel good for you, right? Like, because at the end of the day, if it's a product, or a partnership, that you feel really great about, like if it's like, you know, a baseball player, and the brand of, you know, baseball pants that they've worn, and they were a little kid comes to them is like, we want to endorse you like, obviously, like, there's like a feeling there, right? There's this feeling of like, I'm attached to that, it makes sense, I can tell a story around it, because I truly am, like, a passionate, you know, supporter of this company, then that's going to feel good for you to put out into the world, and you're going to be able to better I think, fend off any sort of negativity, or look at it with a different lens, if it's truly something that you love and feel good about. Now, if it's something that you're like, I don't know about this, this feels a little bit of a stretch, and then you have negativity, right, like your, your mental space is sort of different. Because this, it's that feeling of uncertainty and questioning, like, I don't know, if this is right to start, and then you get like, you know, a sort of influx of just bad juju, you know, then then you're gonna feel you're, I think you're gonna take it more to heart, because you're gonna know deep down, maybe this isn't the right fit. So that would just be one, one piece I could offer, I'm sure that's really hard to do as an athlete, where money comes into play compensation, being able to really support your dreams and the lifestyle you want to have. But if that, if it were my child's, that's what I would tell them.
Gerald Reid 47:07
That's good advice. Definitely. And something else that comes up relative to what you're saying with being genuine to yourself is definitely college athletes. And, you know, if they get a lot of publicity, you know, you can really get consumed by where you're posting things for the likes, versus you know, you're getting self esteem from yourself, or from the people who are in your inner circle. And it's like a rabbit hole that I have found people can get into. And when they get pulled out of it, and they pull themselves out of it, it's really a special experience where you know, you can do both, you can have that, and also maintain integrity and kind of who you are and how you see yourself and how important that is. And, you know, as social media blew up, this thought came to my head is like, being a celebrity seems really hard. As much as everybody wants to be a celebrity and looks up to celebrities is like, Oh, I wish I can be that. I imagine it's very hard to be famous. And I'm thinking to myself, wow, like, everyone's, like famous now in their own way, because they're public in social media, even people who are not elite athletes, even just, you know, just a regular, like, you know, high school student who's just putting content out for whatever it is that I just had this feeling of like, whoa, wait a minute, isn't it really hard to be famous? And now everyone's, quote unquote, famous in their own way? That seems like that's a lot of pressure and like hard for, like this society as a whole to grapple with.
Marisa Brahney 48:35
I totally agree. I think about this a lot. And I think, you know, back to what Alexis said in the beginning, like, there's certainly a lot of different sides to social media, both positive and negative. And it's something that I've struggled with throughout my career, because it is a necessary part of business in so many ways. Now, you know, whether you want it to be or not, if you want to have a thriving business, that is growing, and, you know, really keeping up with modern society, it's necessary to a certain degree, right, obviously, it depends on the kind of industry you're in for some, like me, it's more necessary than others, you know, but there's a lot of pressure with it. I agree. I try to, you know, take some time off and not I certainly don't post I think as much as I used to. And, you know, again, it's like I, I think a lot about like, what's to come with it, like, Where will it go and even for me, like where I want to go with my own social media presence and things I want to do maybe differently in the future, particularly as my kids grow and, you know, just, there's a lot and it's, it's a lot to think about and grapple with, as you said, and I think it's a, it's going to be a continual evolution in terms of like the likes and things like that, again, I think it's easier for an adult, like, you know, in middle age to think about more rationally than it would be for like an 18 year old kid, you know? So it's just a tricky, it's a tricky landscape. That's only I think getting trickier, if that makes sense.
Alexis Reid 50:26
Yeah, it's like everybody is in a similar situation, as you probably were 22 being on TV with your face out there, right, where people are noticing you and recognizing you. I think this happens more and more, especially for young people who are putting themselves out there. And I wanted to bring up to that, you know, while you were going through your journey of, you know, living your dream of being a journalist and in the broadcast industry, and being out there, you know, we talked a lot about your professional path, but you also had a very personal path that you were going through at the same time. And another reason I wanted to have you on the podcast is because you are such a strong and credible person. And I know that that's both a compliment, and can be difficult to hear and to share. Because we don't always feel strong going through really hard moments in our lives. But I believe that, in you sharing so much of your story, especially about Charlotte and becoming a mother, and raising a family wall, starting and growing a business all at the same time. It's a lot of moving parts, it's a lot of emotion, it's a lot of teamwork, which I know you and Tony or husband have worked really hard at doing together and done it, in my opinion, gracefully, I'm sure probably husband always feel that way. But you know, there's so much that goes on behind the scenes that people often miss. And, again, I appreciate you sharing parts of that, because there are so many people out there that are listening, or just people in general, who are experiencing this every day. And the people I'm closest to right now are, you know, the educators and the mental health providers who have been going through it for years and trying to balance giving themselves to others while still taking care of themselves. And I wonder if you can share a little bit about your story, because it's such a big part of your journey, who you are, personally and professionally, I believe too
Marisa Brahney 52:26
Yeah, thank you. Thank you. And yes, I mean, I think that living through like a personal tragedy publicly is a really sort of unique experience. And I mean, when I say publicly, you know, I was, at the time that we lost our first daughter, I was back in New Jersey, so I was an anchor, as I mentioned, and news 12. Again, covering my home state. So lots of people watching that I knew and you know, over the course of my life from various points in my life, and then of course, just you know, viewers who had come to know me through my job. And so I had been at the station, for about like a year and a half, we were we had we were pregnant with our first child had a very normal sort of textbook pregnancy. Really a great first pregnancy. And when our daughter was born, she was breathing, and there were birth complications where she had aspirated meconium in the womb. And, you know, the birth itself was very traumatic, like the, the whole labor was normal, like, there were no signs of distress or anything. So then, when she was born and wasn't breathing, it was like immediate panic. And doctors whisked her away immediately and started working on her, worked on her for about an hour and a half, you know, and ultimately, we're not able to save her. And, you know, the trauma of that experience, in and of itself. And then of course, the the grief that followed, losing her, you know, was obviously the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life, and in many ways has transformed my life and really, you know, totally changed me as a person. But, you know, having to I mean, I was I worked up until my due date, I anchored a newscast the day before my due date with a very, you know, nine months pregnant belly and, you know, like, had my like, farewell on air and then, you know, obviously, you know, I came to back to work without a baby's like we, you know, it wasn't something that I could, like, hide or pretend didn't happen. And so, you know, this station had to put out a statement that I had to craft when I was in the hospital. And just all of these, you know, all of these elements to it to this very, you know, awful personal tragedy of losing our daughter that, you know, I had to sort of contend with being a public figure. And I will say that, I honestly remember like, being in the hospital and being like, I just like, want to never talk, like, I just never want to talk about this, again, I want to pretend like it didn't happen, I didn't want anyone to know, I didn't want anyone to know the details that would happen. Like, those are the things going through my mind. But like, that wasn't even possible. Like, that's like the kind of state I was in where it was just like, I just want this to be over. Like, I just, you know, and I mean, in the days that followed, like, obviously, you know, you realize, like, you have to, you have to deal with things, you have to make arrangements you have, you know, and I'm also recovering from birth, you know, it's just this. I mean, it was just to like to think back on it now. And like, people often will say, like, how did you get through that, or how, and I'm like, I don't know, I honestly, so much of it was just like, just one, literally one second, one hour. And then one day at a time, because it was just hard to even, it's hard to even think back now, like how I did that, like, you're sort of just like, in this days. But I will say that, when initially was something that I was like, I want to hide, I you know, it wasn't that I wanted to not talk about my daughter or acknowledge my daughter or acknowledge her existence or impact on my life. And, you know, as, like the start of our family, it was just like, I didn't, I didn't want to have to like field questions from people. And you know, and what started off as that has, like, as, you know, I went through this transformed into this, like, oh, my gosh, like, I need to talk about this, like, I am compelled. And this is part of my life's purpose, and part of her life's purpose, to, like, open up this conversation. And so this was in 2014, where, you know, social media was not what it was now, and yet, still, I was able to, like, find other women going through this pretty quickly through social media, right, and, you know, look like searching for different hashtags and things on Instagram. And, you know, just like, friends of friends from all around the world, like connecting and saying, Oh, I have this experience, too. And then viewers, like, you know, when the station put this out, I had hundreds and hundreds of messages from, you know, people who were just, you know, so like, graciously, like sharing their condolences and their sympathy and empathy for what we were experienced, what we're experiencing, but so many women who had experienced something similar, some type of pregnancy loss, you know, traumatic birth loss, you know, infant loss, all sorts of different scenarios, who were like, Thank you for sharing what you have been through, like, you know, when I went through this 20 years ago, like my doctor told me never to talk about it again, like just unbelievable things where you're, you just almost get like, immersed in this world of like, Why is no one talking about it? Why is no one sharing about it? Like, it's, it's something that so many women go through so many families go through, not even women, because men go men go through these losses also. And that's even less talked about, right? The grief of a father. So it really just was this situation of at first, like, this is not something I had no choice other than to, you know, sort of be open with it. And while I felt like really sort of angry about that, at first, it's become something that I'm really grateful for, because it has helped me in my healing. It has helped me again, like feel connected to Charlotte, and, you know, has given her life sort of like purpose and a larger sense to me, which I think is such a gift and something that I you know, really have grown to feel is very special.
Alexis Reid 59:39
Yeah, there's few sunsets, I see that I don't think of you in Charlotte. And I remember seeing you a few months after all that happened, and I'm crying hearing you tell the story again, and I mean, I just wanted to ask you, because for me, even knowing what I know and being trained as I have, it's hard for me to know exactly how to show up for people going through something like this. And I wonder, I'm sure others feel similarly, where you want to do everything. I'm a problem solver. And I'm a, you know somebody who wants to swoop in and help people all the time. And sometimes that's not what's needed. And I'm curious if you can share a little bit about for you what what was most helpful as you went through that?
Marisa Brahney 1:00:25
I think this is so important to talk about. So thank you for asking this. And I, I will say like, we had some really incredible mental health support that really, like saved us during that time. I mean, we had an incredible therapist who specialized in loss and transition. She was a perinatal counselor in a hospital for many years, she had gone through losses herself. But just coming back to that lens, right like that, that, you know, other perspective, I even saw it so much in play at that time in my life, because she was in her 60s, she had suffered to, like second trimester losses that were, you know, really traumatic and significant. And had seen so many other families through their own losses. So her being able to give us that wider lens, that bigger picture, not no way to dismiss what we were going through, but almost like, put into context a little bit, you know, the way that this would shape our lives, you know, I think was just such a gift. And I still think about her, we've sort of lost touch over the years, but she was name was Lynn, she was just an amazing, amazing mental health, professional and person. And, you know, one of the things that she kind of talked about, because I think at first, when someone's experiencing, you know, really profound grief, there's anger involved in it. And sometimes, you know, I will be angry or not even angry is maybe the wrong word, just really upset. By the way, some people responded to us, and that very, very tender time, the overwhelming vast majority of people in our lives were incredible. I mean, we had, I think meals for close to three months after Charlotte died, just friends from all over the country sending us breakfast baskets, and gift cards, and, you know, setting up, you know, donating and her memories, setting up just all of these beautiful ways to like, show us that they were there for us. And so, I will preface this by saying that that is what I truly remember about that time. And it was almost just like, I just have never, I've never felt that amount of love and support in my life. And it was, up until that point, and I felt that many times since then. But it was just this, you know, the people in our lives really showed up for us in amazing ways. But I will say that, you know, one of the things we talked about with our therapist was, despite all of that there are still sort of like comments and actions that, you know, more deeply impact you when you're in this space of vulnerability, right, like something small or like, a comment or a reaction, or like something that someone does, when you're in this space of just like feeling like your life has fallen apart, right, whatever that looks like, whatever that experience is. You really like have to dig deep to give people grace. And, you know, she would always say that, like, the way people deal with grief often comes from like their own uncomfortability about it, and obviously has nothing to do with you. You know, like they people want to be supportive, they want to see the right thing they want to fix, they want to, you know, but a lot of times people just don't know how to do that. And you're right, in the sense that like, as a person going through it, it is really hard to like keep that in mind. But I really tried to just focus on the things that made me feel good in the little moments day to day and also not only give grace to other people, but give grace to myself and sort of take the pressure off. So like if there was a situation or a person or an event that I felt like this is not going to make me feel good, like, you know, baby showers. There were people at work that who I worked with who were pregnant around the same time as me, and I just like gave I just separated myself a little bit from certain scenarios in my life that I knew we're going to be triggering or hard. And if there was someone, you know, for example, who I knew, you know, had said, like something that like, hurt, or, you know, just made me like, think about it all day afterward. Like, why did they say that that made me feel bad or whatever, you just have to sort of remove your yourself and not in a mean way, or a way that makes the other person feel bad or even notice, you know, but just sort of protect your own heart a little extra. Yeah. I mean, I guess that, you know, that's the way I dealt with it. That year, we didn't, we didn't really celebrate Christmas, like, you know, I was doing September. And so we had thought so much about like, our first Christmas, like, I had like a little Christmas outfit, like, you know, all this stuff. We didn't put up a tree that year, we didn't really like do like Christmas with our extended families much I think. I mean, we were with my parents and Tony's parents, but like, we didn't like to, like, exchange it, like we just couldn't really couldn't. And that was like, maybe a decision not everybody understood or agreed with, but like, it's what we had to do, you know, so I guess that I think that might be the advice is that, you know, both for people going through it. And also, you know, someone helping someone through it, it's just like, Be okay with the decisions that they make. And, you know, give them permission to make the decisions that feel right for protecting their heart at the time, even if it may not feel right to you.
Alexis Reid 1:06:32
Yeah, I think a very underutilized skill in these moments is to just ask a question.
Marisa Brahney 1:06:40
Right. Right. Absolutely. And just sit sit with it. Like, that was something too, I think, I think going through this was the first time I heard the term hold space. And I think that, you know, now we hear it a little more often. But I think that's such a valuable skill that I never had before. Like going through this myself. I always was like, I wanted to relate to the person. And I think that that's just my nature as being like a talkative curious person is sort of like, jumping right in with a suggestion, or have you tried this or you? And like, that is often not what people need. And I think it took me going through this, to know that, like, sometimes people just need you to be there and hold space for what they're feeling.
Alexis Reid 1:07:24
Yeah, that's so important. And across a lot of situations. And I'm glad you shared that. Thank you.
Gerald Reid 1:07:31
Marissa. Well, first of all, thank you for sharing that. It's so emotional to hear something like this. It's actually the second time I've heard something like this in the past month, which is really ironic, actually, the third time you Is there anything that you feel like you did that was sort of a ritual or something that you did for yourself? Throughout the time? And maybe that changed over time, throughout your process? But was there anything that email you kind of went to that sustained you or just give some healing or catharsis through this time of your life?
Marisa Brahney 1:08:06
You know, I think I mean, a lot of things I think that, you know, being sort of, okay with, you know, other people maybe not agreeing with the way that you grieve. I think up until losing Charlotte, I guess I, I wasn't as comfortable with like, when other people didn't sort of like agree with a decision I was making or like how I was making a decision, I think the wrong word. Maybe how I was expressing myself, right? Like, I was always, like, very careful with my words. And part of that is like, listen, I was in a public facing career, I had a responsibility as a journalist to be careful with my words, but like, I think that it was like, again, I felt this pull that like, this is important for me to share, and share the rawness of it, you know? And like, not ever, people might be like, Oh my God, she's like, pouring her heart out, or like, who asked her what I sort of just like, let that go in a way that I had never before done in my life. And I think that that's sort of carried on throughout my life because I've spoken, you know, about being pregnant after loss, parenting after loss, you know, challenges of motherhood, all these other pieces in a way that had I not lost my daughter had I not lived through this very traumatic thing. I don't know that I would be that person, you know, and so I don't know if it's a ritual but maybe just again, a way that I gave myself permission to just be and like, let go of opinions and other people's input. You know, a little bit more.
Gerald Reid 1:09:52
You made meaning out of it in the way that felt right to you whether someone else trying to make meaning for it.
Marisa Brahney 1:09:58
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I think, again, I think it goes back to like, giving yourself permission to do what you need to do. And like, not, not focus on what other people think. And like that can be really hard, especially with like, parents and, you know, close family and you know, they care about you. And so they're, you know, maybe sometimes weighing in, in a way that is well meaning. But like having to just like separate yourself a little bit from things like that, and just do what you know, is going to protect your own heart, I would say that is something that I really learned to do for the first time in my life, through living through this. And, you know, being okay with saying now, like, if you just can't take something on, or you don't have the bandwidth, or the emotional capacity to put yourself in a situation like you don't have to, you know, and I think that this was the first time in my life, where I realized that and was able to say, like, you know, putting my own emotional well being first is not like a selfish thing. It doesn't mean you don't care about other people in your life, it means that you have enough of a sense of self, and enough, you know, value in your own. Well being as a person to really recognize that that's important to do. And it's really necessary to do to live your life and to be able to withstand, you know, the things that life throws at you.
Alexis Reid 1:11:34
So Maris, there's, there's so much that we can talk about here together. And hopefully, you'll come back on the on the podcast, and we could talk more about your path and your journey, because there's so much more that you do even now to this day. So, Maris, I really appreciate you sharing just a part of your journey. I know there's so much more to talk about in you and I have talked about the you know, these changing roles as we go through different chapters of our lives. And hopefully, we'll have you back on the podcast to talk a little more about that and the work you're doing today. But I'm just I'm so grateful for us to have this platform to share both your story and to kind of dive deeper into understanding what life is like, you know, when you have a passion, when you have a dream, when you have something that you know you're called to do. When you take that risk, when you take that jump, when you find that combination of you know, leaning into to fate, and faith and having some agency and all of it, I think it's such a inspirational story to share with others. And I'm grateful to have you as a part of my life and to have you here on the show. And I just want to rewind back for a moment to because we talked about this so often, both in our work and every day, and also here on the podcast that sometimes some of the greatest challenges end up shaping our lives that we could have never imagined. And being able to balance some of these great challenges and tragedies that you've experienced in such a public way. And being able to turn it into what's known in the field is post traumatic growth, really finding your passion and your purpose and figuring out how it fits into the grand scheme of the world. And really honoring Charlotte's life and her own purpose in this world is such a beautiful thing. And it shines through and all you do it shines through in the way you are raising your children today and the way you help to support not only other mothers, but other families and other professionals in the broadcasting world and in the media world. And you just continue to give back, you know, despite some of these things that could have really knocked you down. And it's so inspirational, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life and in my world and are grateful to have had you here today. So thank you, Marisa.
Marisa Brahney 1:13:55
Thank you so much. It was a pleasure to talk through all this and I totally agree with what you said is that, you know, I don't like the phrase, everything has been spur reason, and I will say that is one not to say to people, you know, going through through grief and tragedy, but I will say that, you know, while I I'll never find a reason, right, like, why my daughter died or why we lost her. But I have been able to find a purpose in my life. You know, after that, and you know, how that sort of shaped me that that experience and her existence has sort of shaped me as a mother as a person, as a woman, as a friend, I mean, as a daughter, all of these things. So I appreciate you saying that because I do feel that again. It just it changed every lens I had about the world and really opened my eyes to just that everyone has something in this one. If that they go through that as difficult, I mean, no, no one comes out of life having never gone through something really challenging and hard. And so, you know, I think that to me, that is the purpose is that, you know, it, it just gave me this this sort of bigger view into, you know, empathy and compassion and being as understanding as I can be that you never know what someone is going through in their life.
Alexis Reid 1:15:30
Yeah, I think more people need to understand and, and own that a little bit. Because if we can see each other as just humans and souls navigating through this world, trying to figure it out as we go, and we can empathize with each other a little bit more. I think we all will feel a little bit better as they navigate through this journey together. So thank you for being a part of reconnected today. And we love you.
Gerald Reid 1:15:58
We appreciate you. Thank you.
Alexis Reid 1:16:00
Thank you so much.
Gerald Reid
Thanks for tuning in to the Reid Connect-ED podcast. Please remember that this is a podcast intended to educate and share ideas, but it is not a substitute for professional care that may be beneficial to you at different points of your life. If you are needed support, please contact your primary care physician, local hospital, educational institution, or support staff at your place of employment to seek out referrals for what may be most helpful for you. ideas shared here have been shaped by many years of training, incredible mentors research theory, evidence based practices and our work with individuals over the years, but it's not intended to represent the opinions of those we work with or who we are affiliated with. The reconnected podcast is hosted by siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid. Original music is written and recorded by Gerald Reid (www.Jerapy.com) recording was done by Cyber Sound Studios. If you want to follow along on this journey with us the Reid Connect-ED podcast. we'll be releasing new episodes every two weeks each season so please subscribe for updates and notifications. Feel free to also follow us on Instagram @ReidConnectEdPodcast that's @ReidconnectEdPodcast and Twitter @ReidconnectEd. We are grateful for you joining us and we look forward to future episodes. In the meanwhile be curious, be open, and be well.

Oftentimes a commitment to building skills, sacrifice, having faith, and following your heart combines to lead you in the direction of your purpose. In this episode Gerald & Alexis are joined by TV Personality & Media Coach, Marisa Brahney to discuss her journey through her career in broadcast journalism, the ups and downs of paving her own path, and navigating a successful career in front of the camera and family.

Be curious. Be Open. Be well.

The ReidConnect-Ed Podcast is hosted by Siblings Alexis Reid and Dr. Gerald Reid, produced by and original music is written and recorded by www.Jerapy.com

*Please note that different practitioners may have different opinions- this is our perspective and is intended to educate you on what may be possible.

Season 2